Advice Neeeded 20 yrs old?

JOHNPT

Hi

Wud appreciate advice. I know this tennager he is 20 yrs old and has got into trouble the last few yrs with robbing cars and the latest was he was caught drink driving. Now I know all the above are very wrong but he is a good natured kid and would not like to see him been sent to prison. Both his parents have an issue with drinking. Im a good few yrs his and I would just like advice on best approach to get him basically to wise up. He used to do some construction work in my company and was a great worker.
Not sure if i should be strict or more of a friend.
Any suggestions appreciated

Deliverance

JOHNPT wrote: »

Hi

Wud appreciate advice. I know this tennager he is 20 yrs old and has got into trouble the last few yrs with robbing cars and the latest was he was caught drink driving. Now I know all the above are very wrong but he is a good natured kid and would not like to see him been sent to prison. Both his parents have an issue with drinking. Im a good few yrs his and I would just like advice on best approach to get him basically to wise up. He used to do some construction work in my company and was a great worker.
Not sure if i should be strict or more of a friend.
Any suggestions appreciated

That's a tough one. It sounds like your concerned about the lad and are thinking about becoming a mentor to him. That is a lot of responsibility to take on. You have skills yourself in construction. If the lad enjoys this line of work and has someone to take him on then it will possibly make a difference to him by him being taught a trade in this area.

However, if he has developed a 'habit' then that is an issue which is possibly beyond your control or indeed expertise, it could possibly cause you lots of grief.

As for being strict with him... Your not his parent. I would be v.conscious of that, also being a friend is something else and not really something that he should be seeing you as, the best course of action would be to act as a mentor and a role model, provide the lad with opportunities and see how he takes them on. That is the best thing that you can do.

Ps. Fair play to you for being concerned about the chap, sounds like he does need a decent fella like yourself in his life... But again I would say seek more advice about this professionally or it could end up being an exercise that will cause you more grief than you bargained for. Best of luck.

JOHNPT

Thanks for advice.

Nevyn

Is there any chance you could get him to attend an al anon meeting?
IT is for those who are living wiht alcholics in thier life, it may not be posible if he doesn't think his parents have a problem or that it is negatively impacting on him.

http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/meetings.htm

JOHNPT

Thanks but dont think that right approach for him.

Deliverance

JOHNPT wrote: »

Thanks but dont think that right approach for him.

Maybe not at this time, but it is worthy of note to take the above advice from 'Thaeyda'l on board for future reference.

For example: In the past I was involved with a person with a similar antisocial problem 'habit' (alcoholism) for awhile and that person reallly dragged me down and used me as a crutch to continue their behaviour.

I was naive at the time and it really did drag me down. I broke contact with said person due to extreme circumstances caused by the persons problems and my career took a leap forward and I got on well. Then I got involved with the person again later on because I cared, and my career went down again for awhile.

On hindsight and experience... This made me realise that this person that I was involved with needed profesional help that was outside my abilities. On that point I would look into offering the chap that your concerned about... some job options and possibly some counselling. If he refuses then there is nothing more that you can do really other than the job and work.

It sounds like he is a good worker and wants to make something of himself, that sounds promising in itself (despite the parents). Your providing the job for the fella, that is enough.

Best of luck and get back on how you are getting on.

JOHNPT

Thanks for reply