Bring up a bilingual child, how to do it right?

The Corinthian

I was born in Italy and lived there for the first six and a half years of my life, so that it was the only language I spoke fluently when my family moved to Ireland. As another poster similarly recalled, my mother would speak to me in English and I would at that stage respond in Italian, however I did have a good understanding of the language even if I could not speak it.

My younger sister, on the other hand was only one when we moved and so her situation was reversed (with my father always speaking Italian to her). As a result, she can understand it perfectly and at a push is pretty fluent in it too, but ultimately nowhere near as good as mine, let alone someone who grew up in Italy.

Being totally bilingual is very difficult as it requires constant practice. Even though Italian was my original mother tongue, my English is realistically far better now. Additionally, living away from a living language and with only your family to speak with does affect your vocabulary; which can end up being a few decades out of sync with everyone else by the time you are an adult.

The most important thing is that both languages are used at home. The rest will sink in and eventually be polished off by actually going to live in the country in question.

FruitLover

FruitLover wrote: »

There's no such thing as a passive ability with languages. If you can fluently understand it, you can speak it (might not feel as natural as your primary language, but you can do it all the same).

I found your post really interesting (I studied linguistics and specialised in this topic) but I disagree that there is no such thing as passive ability. I think it is possible to understand a language almost perfectly, yet speak it very, very badly. I started to learn French when I was around six years old. I was exposed to loads of French books, videos, songs you name it. We went to France once or twice a year and I absorbed lots of vocabulary. I don't really remember ever not knowing French, yet because neither of my parents are Francophones, I never really spoke the language until I started secondary school and of course the level there was fairly basic and the teachers weren't the best. I kept up listening to French language radio/TV, lived in France for a short while and now at 24, I can understand almost anything a native speaker can understand, including slang terms/verlan, but my own French really isn't very good. I can hear a word/construction a thousand times and not be able to produce it. It's not because I'm rubbish at languages, as I learned two others and speak them fairly well. I just have a really passive knowledge of French. I have met people with one French parent who are in more or less the same situation - they can follow a conversation but cannot come up with the words themselves.

nesf

[quote=[Deleted User];60838753]I found your post really interesting (I studied linguistics and specialised in this topic) but I disagree that there is no such thing as passive ability. I think it is possible to understand a language almost perfectly, yet speak it very, very badly. I started to learn French when I was around six years old. I was exposed to loads of French books, videos, songs you name it. We went to France once or twice a year and I absorbed lots of vocabulary. I don't really remember ever not knowing French, yet because neither of my parents are Francophones, I never really spoke the language until I started secondary school and of course the level there was fairly basic and the teachers weren't the best. I kept up listening to French language radio/TV, lived in France for a short while and now at 24, I can understand almost anything a native speaker can understand, including slang terms/verlan, but my own French really isn't very good. I can hear a word/construction a thousand times and not be able to produce it. It's not because I'm rubbish at languages, as I learned two others and speak them fairly well. I just have a really passive knowledge of French. I have met people with one French parent who are in more or less the same situation - they can follow a conversation but cannot come up with the words themselves.[/QUOTE]

Well, the whole existence of passive vs active vocabulary in people would suggest that one's passive understanding of a language is different to one's active ability with the language. Personally I can understand far far more Irish and I can speak and I'm talking of an order of magnitude of a difference here, but since I'm far from fluent in both I may be talking about a different thing to what Fruitlover is getting at.

briano.de.rhino

dont fret over it. My daughter is 3 nearly. She speaks English mainly but her Mom speaks Chinese as much as she can during the day when iM in work and when her chinese friends come over so when shes older she'll have English perfect but a hell of a headstart on Chinese, maybe even nearly fluent. She sings Chinese songs on dvd we have too which she likes. I try and explain to her what a boat is for example, then immediately I say the chinese word too and she has learned this way, the 2 words together havent thrown her.

Brian.

Supercell

Thank you so much Brian, that exactly how i think its going to play out with us, and if its working for you then coupled with as frequent trips to China as possible the kids will be able to speak both well..now as to reading....

mmalaka

My daughter is about 3.5 years... we speak Arabic at home, she used to go to a preschool where they speak English, as a result of this she is late in talking... she understand English & Arabic very well, she started to speak some words in both language, we feel this is talking delay is affecting her social behavior as she is not mixing very well with the other kids, we think that this is because she does not understand them very well, we will try the "one parent one language"

Recently and we went back home for couple of weeks where everyone speak our language and we noticed her social behavior become a little bit better

Any parents here have experience with this and have any advice?

silverharp

mmalaka wrote: »

My daughter is about 3.5 years... we speak Arabic at home, she used to go to a preschool where they speak English, as a result of this she is late in talking... she understand English & Arabic very well, she started to speak some words in both language, we feel this is talking delay is affecting her social behavior as she is not mixing very well with the other kids, we think that this is because she does not understand them very well, we will try the "one parent one language"

Recently and we went back home for couple of weeks where everyone speak our language and we noticed her social behavior become a little bit better

Any parents here have experience with this and have any advice?

One question, is English a first language for either parent? Our little ones are bilingual (but stonger in English) where my wife speaks in her native language and I and childminder speak English. Never noticed that they were slow speaking in either language.

mmalaka

No the English is not the first language

AckwelFoley

My best friend is from Hong Kong.

He was raised in Ireland but parents spoke cantoneese at home and then obviously english in school and socially.

I cant however read Cantoneese as he was never tought it.

One thing i would say is that if i was to learn one language now it would be Manduran. Its the Language most asscicated with Mainland China and as china is becomming ever more important in the global market being able to speak both english and manduran is and will be a great benefit for your children

silverharp

mmalaka wrote: »

No the English is not the first language

it might be worth getting a professional opinion just to rule out any hearing or other developmental issues. My purely amateur opionion is that learning the two languages shouldnt be that much of a drag. All things being equal I'd have expected her to be chatty at home but maybe a bit more shy speaking English?

mmalaka

We did the hearing test and basic development test and it was ok...we are doing advanced development test soon

LegacyUser

I think its fantastic when parents bring their children up with two languages. It can fail terribly though.

I have a friend who was born in Ireland but who's parents both speak Chinese (not sure which one) at home, so she only spoke english at school. As a result her english is terrible, even as an adult. She still struggles with the language, despite speaking it all through school.

I also can't stand when parents bring their child up speaking only one foriegn language. The kid goes in to school not having a clue what's going on. Can't talk to the other children and really miss out.

Supercell

Well its now looking increasingly likely that I will be moving to China for a few years until the jobs market recovers here.
Stuck in a job that i don't really enjoy, and shag all work in my field here if i leave.
I always thought teaching would be an interesting job so am strongly considering doing the TEFL thing there for a few years and take it from there.
I think we will make a conscious effort to speak English in the home especially as my Mandarin is so bad! There is a large ex pat community there (Tianjin - 30 mins from Beijing on the bullet train)so having a "English only" environment in the home is doable as i'll hopefully have friends over that will speak English.

Now the only thing to sort out is the start making babies which herself is very keen to do but i don't want to do until we are settled and secure!! Believe me when a Chinese woman wants something she is REALLY persistent..I have to make this decision pronto and report back to SWMBO!!

Jinxi

Its not rocket science. language is best learned from having to speak it. If your wife only communicates with them in chinese, they have to learn it. The same with english. In order to understand/communicate with you it will be fine.
As for delay in development, its not true. There will be a period around 2/3 where the languages will mix but by 4 this is sorted out completely. being bilingual will only enrich their lives.
Begin with nursery rhymes/songs in your own languages. By three months they will recognise the diffference in intonation in the two languages
(B.A. ECCE)