TOP 20 Reasons Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

Capt'n Midnight

1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter. It's ALL good!

Salome

You're obviously not doing it right then .

EKRIUQ

you haven't have good tipperary chocolate then, i guess

Joey the lips

1) You can GET chocolate. i can get sex
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. Drinking choclate makes you sleep.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. Sex is much more than a penis and the tounge is as mighty
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Ever tried a BJ
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to. So can I when it comes to sex!
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother. My mother is blind and deaf sex is not a problem
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind. Bite me bitch
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names. What you never heard of a treesome whats nasty there!
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. NSA
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers. Watching megan fox and her fella having sex in my job would not upset me!
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped. Ever heard of NSA Sex
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. I know but when your friend see you taking the hairs out what looks better!
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it. Your not doing it right!
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. 2 words the pill
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Never stopped me having sex ooohhhhh
16) Good chocolate is easy to find. You must meet my o/h
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle. Karma Sutra!
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate. It depends if its mutual
19) When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake. Thats the best bit!
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter. It's ALL good! Ever heard of the tounge!

ok you might win on 18 although where I live.... age is not a problem!

bronte

Chocolate is better than sex? I did not get that memo.

Nevyn

No, chocolate is better with sex, and sex is better with chocolate.
That is proper none of that dairy milk crap.
Sex and chocolate is the answer, why choose.

Otis Driftwood

Seriously,you are.

jigglywoo

1. Eating chocolate in public isn’t exciting.
2. You can’t ask chocolate to wear leather for you.
3. You can’t put wax on chocolate’s nipples.
4. Chocolate doesn’t make a movie interesting.
5. It doesn’t take talent to eat chocolate.
6. If you scream while eating chocolate people think something’s wrong.
7. If you have a romantic dinner just to eat chocolate for dessert, your date will think you’re an idiot.
8. You can’t put handcuffs on chocolate.
9. Chocolate doesn’t moan.
10. If you eat chocolate in the shower it will melt.
11. Eating chocolate in a large group isn’t any more fun than eating it alone.
12. A magazine about chocolate wouldn’t sell.
13. Chocolate won’t sell a product, no matter how much of it you use.
14. Chocolate is ‘quality controlled’.
15. Chocolate comes with an expiration date.
16. Too much chocolate will make you sick.
17. There’s no challenge in obtaining a bit of chocolate.
18. If you don’t want any chocolate people assume something’s wrong with you.
19. Mixing chocolate with whipped cream will give you cavities.
20. Chocolate isn’t fun to undress.
21. Eating chocolate does nothing for your cardiovascular system.
22. You can't write a book on how to eat chocolate.
23. You can never eat the same chocolate twice.
24. Your mom will scold you about eating chocolate before dinner.
25. You have to wait a half-hour before swimming after eating chocolate.
26. When chocolate gets hot it gets harder to eat.
27. Chocolate makes you fat.
28. Chocolate will kill your dog.
29. It's no fun to wrestle chocolate to the ground.
30. Chocolate doesn't react to being licked.

valery

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter. It's ALL good!

chocolate goes straight to my hips , and I love the stuff. great reason for wall to wall sex, in the morning the afternoon the evening at night, ah hell, drive down to his job and drag the bugger out and do him in the carpark , gawd knows, Im a slut. oh these threads:D:D:D

Madame Razz

It isn't; it really really isn't.

I can count on one hand the number of times I would rather have been eating chocolate than having sex tbh.

and that chocolate was better than them says a lot about the men in question tbh:pac:

valery

Madame Razz wrote: »

It isn't; it really really isn't.

I can count on one hand the number of times I would rather have been eating chocolate than having sex tbh.

and that chocolate was better than them says a lot about the men in question tbh:pac:

oh , I know what you mean. before my present lad ( Ive had him on trial for 20 years now) I had my disappointments. You see I work on the theory that life may not be a rehearsal !!!! this may be it girl, so in that vein I decided long ago that size really does matter/ the bigger the better . I dont really care what people think because believe me , I am going to have my chocolate .....ooohhhh, and eat it too.:rolleyes: :D:rolleyes:

2 stroke

EKRIUQ wrote: »

you haven't have good tipperary chocolate sex then, i guess

Fixed that for you.

Gauge

I wasn't aware that cutesey, cliched list e-mail forwards are threadworthy now...

Edit: And clearly the best option is to combine the two.

Halla Basin

I ate chocolate before

Fugly

Chocolate + sex = everybody's happy.*


* I have experienced one time this wasn't true, it basically ended in me eating the chocolate during foreplay (alone not in a sexy way).

Halla Basin

Fugly wrote: »

Chocolate + sex = everybody's happy.*


* I have experienced one time this wasn't true, it basically ended in me eating the chocolate during foreplay (alone not in a sexy way).

I have a tree in my gardens

valery

Fugly wrote: »

Chocolate + sex = everybody's happy.*


* I have experienced one time this wasn't true, it basically ended in me eating the chocolate during foreplay (alone not in a sexy way).

exactly my sentiments. :rolleyes:

Fugly

Halla Basin wrote: »

I have a tree in my gardens

I'm not quite sure what you mean, ...*nods, smiles and backs away slowly*

Otis Driftwood

Fugly wrote: »

I'm not quite sure what you mean, ...*nods, smiles and backs away slowly*

Just read their posts in other threads.
Nonsense.

A_SN

1) You can be sure that your toothbrush hasn't been into anyone else's mouth before
2) You can bite and chew your toothbrush's head without it to bleed or pull out
3) With your toothbrush, you're never expected to swallow, always spit
4) Your toothbrush won't be covered in smegma, old sperm, pee, poop, warts or all the above
5) Your toothbrush will make your mouth cleaner and fresher
6) You don't have to stroke or suckle on your toothbrush to obtain toothpaste
7) Everybody can know that you brush your teeth without any damage done to your reputation
8) Toothbrushes aren't attached to people or animals, which makes them more portable
9) Toothbrushes have a fixed length
10) You can safely **** your **** with your toothbrush without getting pregnant

Toothbrushes > Penises!!!

Rhyme

Google answers.