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If there was to be one brilliant, amazing, announcement in tomorrow's paper...

  • 23-06-2009 2:12am
    #1
    sdanseo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,241 ✭✭✭


    ...other than the government, politicians or any CEO whatsoever resigning, dying, campaigning or saying anything at all (because that's been done to the death), what would it be?

    Mine would be that the car firms have decided all their stock is rusting and they've decided to give them away to get rid of them - I can see the ad now, splattered over a double page :) :pac:


«134

Comments

  • #2
    CAPSLOCK365
    Closed Accounts Posts: 163 ✭✭CAPSLOCK365


    sdonn wrote: »
    ...other than the government, politicians or any CEO whatsoever resigning, dying, campaigning or saying anything at all (because that's been done to the death), what would it be?

    Mine would be that the car firms have decided all their stock is rusting and they've decided to give them away to get rid of them - I can see the ad now, splattered over a double page :) :pac:
    What does it say?


  • #3
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    "Ashley Cole dies in horrific two car collision"

    ...."other driver, Gerry Ryan, also feared dead"


  • #4
    mardybumbum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,939 ✭✭✭mardybumbum


    Ted Haggard dies in a fireball car crash.


  • #5
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    That the European Parliament is now going to respect the vote of the Irish people and democracy and will now disband any further developments of the EU constitution. :)


  • #6
    sdanseo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,241 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    CAPSLOCK365 wrote: »
    What does it say?

    That I'm getting one and you're not ;)
    sdonn wrote: »
    ...other than the government, politicians or any CEO whatsoever resigning, dying, campaigning or saying anything at all (
    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    That the European Parliament is...blah blah blah

    *facepalm*


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  • #7
    phantom_lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,894 ✭✭✭✭phantom_lord


    "Conspiracy theorist dies in his sleep"


  • #8
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    "Caught with his pants down"

    Florentino Perez caught sucking off Cristiano Ronaldo in San Fransico night club.Kaka also threw in a finger


  • #9
    SoupyNorman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    Brian Cowen has affair with Cow,

    'Cow'en and gate' starts.


  • #10
    Supercell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,496 ✭✭✭✭Supercell


    Cure for Asthma and Excema found..ohh wait its after hours...hangover pill that works retails tomorrow!!
    https://www.loughlinstown.ie/

    Have a weather station?, why not join the Ireland Weather Network - http://irelandweather.eu/



  • #11
    the drifter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,348 ✭✭✭the drifter


    techno viking to replace browne as head of irish goverment...


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  • #12
    Fr Martin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭Fr Martin


    Asia and Africa don't actually exist - wordls population stands at 1 billion


  • #13
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    USA invades UK

    We'd be in a brilliant position, let all the yanks base themselves here and watch the money rolls in. Irelands only hope is WW3, as sad as that is.


  • #14
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Someone deflated the national blimp (Mary Harney). :pac:


  • #15
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 85,927 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    School Bully not so tough, Since being Molested


  • #16
    Dennis the Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭Dennis the Stone


    Fred Phelps caught with 18 year old Latino rent boy
    Ryan Tubridy caught with 18 year old Latino rent boy
    Gerry Ryan: Raped. BY A GOOSE!


  • #17
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    New law introduced: persistently arguing same point on internet bulletin boards now punishable by death.


  • #18
    Dennis the Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭Dennis the Stone


    All the politicians in the Dáil lose their money in a pyramid scam and have to work for the rest of their lives in call-centres. Harney can't afford healthcare, Batt O'Keeffe's children go uneducated and Brian Cowen has to shop in Lidl, surviving entirely on BRATKARTOFFELN MIT SPECK


  • #19
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Swan devours Polish man.


  • #20
    Blaalarry
    Registered Users Posts: 108 ✭✭Blaalarry


    Minister for Fun, Martin Cullen, is to undergo Brain Implant.


  • #21
    Peyton Manning
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,658 ✭✭✭✭Peyton Manning


    Polish people have fucked off home.


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  • #22
    Caoimhín
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,789 ✭✭✭Caoimhín


    Unemployed Estate Agents face life of poverty.


  • #23
    goldenbrown
    Closed Accounts Posts: 444 ✭✭goldenbrown


    The White House confirmed today that for some months they have being receiving friendly communications from what they understand may be one of several populated areas of the universe


  • #24
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,821 ✭✭✭phill106


    All government ministers taking a paycut, so their salary matches the average industrial wage. Surplus money spent on creating jobs.


    Either that or stick a thousand outboard engines up the north, facing south and motor us all down to west of spain :)


  • #25
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    phill106 wrote: »
    All government ministers taking a paycut, so their salary matches the average industrial wage. Surplus money spent on creating jobs.


    Either that or stick a thousand outboard engines up the north, facing south and motor us all down to west of spain :)

    Edited: All government ministers taking a paycut, so their salary matches the Dole, Surplus money spent on creating jobs.


  • #26
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Licences required to have children in Ireland.
    Or if not that extreme - Child Support payments for only 1 child per person.


  • #27
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    goldenbrown wrote: »
    The White House confirmed today that for some months they have being receiving friendly communications from what they understand may be one of several populated areas of the universe

    lol spot the nerd Star Trek fan


  • #28
    deisedude
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,936 ✭✭✭deisedude


    The introduction of a "Give money to deisedude initiative":D


  • #29
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,174 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Wibbs has won the Euro millions.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #30
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    "Man is blown away by gift of landmine."


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  • #31
    GlindaGale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭GlindaGale


    VAT on alcohol abolished in an effort to boost struggling economy


  • #32
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Jade Goody cloned for new reality TV show


  • #33
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    "Man creates clone of himself, masturbates."


  • #34
    rubadub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,382 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    Cannabis legalised worldwide in bid to curb recession, tax revenue is estimated in the billions, billions also saved on policing and imprisonment.


  • #35
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    USA invades Ireland to liberate locals from the tyranny of Tubridy


  • #36
    walshb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 56,778 ✭✭✭✭walshb


    Foreign aid reduced to ZERO Euro!


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  • #37
    CreepingDeath
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,015 ✭✭✭CreepingDeath


    Cheap sustainable fusion power perfected, the worlds energy crisis is over. The world celebrates by smashing those irritating energy saver bulbs.


  • #38
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Dole Abolished by the EU commission.


  • #39
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Cork actually becomes "De people's Republic" and effs off away from us forever


  • #40
    TheCaveman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 182 ✭✭TheCaveman


    I am going to get flammed fot this....

    Headline, Sunday 5 July 2009

    Springboks beat Lions 3 - 0 in test series....


  • #41
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    TheCaveman wrote: »
    I am going to get flammed fot this....

    Headline, Sunday 5 July 2009

    Springboks beat Lions 3 - 0 in test series....

    That would be a sad day to be British and Irish


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  • #42
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,591 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Enda Kenny is actually a robot. Exclusive pics from the company who brought you Pat Kenny.


  • #43
    sidneykidney
    Registered Users Posts: 591 ✭✭✭sidneykidney


    the drifter wrote: »
    techno viking to replace browne as head of irish goverment...

    Browne is'nt the head of the irish goverment:confused:


  • #44
    giggsy664
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭giggsy664


    Ruu wrote: »
    Swan devours Polish man.

    The ironing would be delicious


  • #45
    LouOB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭LouOB


    Childrens Hopsital in Crumlin receives funds to open new facilities

    or

    AHers
    Government confirm they need help
    International consultants recruited


  • #46
    Blazer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,468 ✭✭✭✭Blazer


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Wibbs has won the Euro millions.

    29 fcukin posts before someone mentioned it....some people have no life...ie the previous 28 posts..


  • #47
    shaner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 66 ✭✭shaner


    "Government introduce stimulus package in an effort to copy the US at everything"

    Stimulus cheques for everybody!


  • #48
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Mine would be ''MADDISON WINS BIGGEST LOTTO WIN EVER!!!!''

    Ahhhh that would be heaven.


  • #49
    Pop's Diner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭Pop's Diner


    Everybody involved with mass media to be lined up and shot. Populace expected to react by returning to nature.


  • #50
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Hagar wins biggest Euro Millions draw ever.


  • #51
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Hagar wrote: »
    Hagar wins biggest Euro Millions draw ever.

    No Maddison already won biggest lotto EVER!!!!Sorry Hagar....beat you to it:p

    Ill give you a tenner out of it, you can buy yourself 10 scratchcards


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