Neighbours away

Commonsense

My not nice neighbours are away, the reason I know this because
1. When I open my windows/doors I cannot hear 'her'
2. The dog isnt in the back garden
3. The blinds are closed at the back and side
4. The car is gone from drive way yesterday and didnt return overnight

I can now go into my garden without dialogue 'ders sumone in the garreden' and open windows without hearing people screaming 'cum heear ya lil sh*t ya'.
Other than enjoying the blissful silence
What to do? Thinking of spraying their plants with killer stuff :cool:

MoominPapa

Move?

Elliemental

While they`re away, move a load of your mates into thier house, then claim squatters rights. Sieze this opportunity, and you may never have to see them again.

Gone Drinking

I thought this was a thread about inbreeding between Australian soap operas

LouOB

Throw some knickers over the wall
Make sure you throw them strategically

Rented Mule

LouOB wrote: »

Throw some knickers over the wall
Make sure you throw them strategically

I have four pairs for sale if you looking for some.

niceirishfella

Commonsense wrote: »

I can now go into my garden without dialogue 'ders sumone in the garreden' and open windows without hearing people screaming 'cum heear ya lil sh*t ya'.

sounds like a classy area you reside in.:pac:

Pop's Diner

People say that when you buy a house most of the value is in the actual land rather than the bricks & mortar. Personally tho I think you're paying for the selection of neighours you get with the property.

Merch

Just enjoy the peace, if you really did something it might get noticed, a fued coulf ensue.
Enjoy the peace and treat it like you would want them to if you were away, even if they are arse***es.
You never know it might come back to you in a good way, anything bad is unlikely to.

antodeco

Get an old banger of a car and leave it in the driveway (remove a tyre if possible). Throw a load of beer cans round the garden and piss everywhere.
Put glue in all their locks and there ya go. When they arrive back, call the gardai saying someone is trying to break in. Their keys wont work and there will be a different car in the driveway.

Or

Paint the outside of the house and change all the house numbers. They will think they are in the wrong estate!

Rented Mule

Pop's Diner wrote: »

People say that when you buy a house most of the value is in the actual land rather than the bricks & mortar. Personally tho I think you're paying for the selection of neighours you get with the property.

I'll second that.

When the neighbors eat **** and howl at the moon you're basically screwed.

Saibh

Put their house up for sale!

Maddison

Oh god I hate my next door neighbours really badly....If we are out the back garden they are hanging out the window, when I pull up outside in my car as if by magic they appear, I thought when they had their new baby they would get a life but noooooo....they are still flower pots.:mad:

Rented Mule

Saibh wrote: »

Put their house up for sale!

...in Australia !!

I hear that their weather sucks this time of the year.

here.from.day.1

Put a layer of perspex over all the doors and windows!

Maddison

I was going to stick a box of locusts in my neighbours letter box:o

ejmaztec

Commonsense wrote: »

My not nice neighbours are away, the reason I know this because
1. When I open my windows/doors I cannot hear 'her'
2. The dog isnt in the back garden
3. The blinds are closed at the back and side
4. The car is gone from drive way yesterday and didnt return overnight

I can now go into my garden without dialogue 'ders sumone in the garreden' and open windows without hearing people screaming 'cum heear ya lil sh*t ya'.
Other than enjoying the blissful silence
What to do? Thinking of spraying their plants with killer stuff :cool:

Your luck could be in, they could have been assassinated by a Community Watch hit-team for being a bunch of arseholes.

niceirishfella

Maddison wrote: »

I was going to stick a box of locusts in my neighbours letter box:o

like where the fook are you going to get a swarm of locusts FFS - down in Tescos?
Now a RAT, well that would be more readily available!:rolleyes:

OldGoat

Rattle their doors and windows till you set off their house alarm and then all their neighbours will hate them.

Honey-ec

niceirishfella wrote: »

like where the fook are you going to get a swarm of locusts FFS - down in Tescos?
Now a RAT, well that would be more readily available!:rolleyes:

Actually you can buy live locusts in most pet shops. Sorted!

az2wp0sye65487

Maddison wrote: »

I was going to stick a box of locusts in my neighbours letter box:o

niceirishfella wrote: »

like where the fook are you going to get a swarm of locusts FFS - down in Tescos?
Now a RAT, well that would be more readily available!:rolleyes:

Honey-ec wrote: »

Actually you can buy live locusts in most pet shops. Sorted!

It would be cool to walk into a pet shop and ask for: "1 swarm of locusts please "

niceirishfella

Honey-ec wrote: »

Actually you can buy live locusts in most pet shops. Sorted!

wow,well thanks for broadening my day:D
I still think a durty RAT would give the OP a better desired effect upon return of his neighbours.

Maddison

niceirishfella wrote: »

like where the fook are you going to get a swarm of locusts FFS - down in Tescos?
Now a RAT, well that would be more readily available!:rolleyes:

Most petshops actually:p

Maddison

Ive a few frozen mice in the fridge too.....Id put my snake in their letterbox but I love him too much.....

TheTubes

Maddison wrote: »

Id put my snake in their letterbox but I love him too much.....

Am I the only person who thought about ejaculating in their letter box after reading this?

gerrycollins

antodeco wrote: »

Get an old banger of a car and leave it in the driveway (remove a tyre if possible). Throw a load of beer cans round the garden and piss everywhere.
Put glue in all their locks and there ya go. When they arrive back, call the gardai saying someone is trying to break in. Their keys wont work and there will be a different car in the driveway.

Or

Paint the outside of the house and change all the house numbers. They will think they are in the wrong estate!

top idea

Captain-America

Get into their house, and glue all their furniture to the roof.

The Gnome

Post a different fish through the letter box each day they're away.

Gillo

Franco Future Fog wrote: »

It would be cool to walk into a pet shop and ask for: "1 swarm of locusts please "

What you seriously thought God just made them appear out of nowhere???

Break in, empty two bags of compost randomly around the house and plan Russian Vine, that thing sprouts fast than a northside crack-hoar trying to get on the housing list.

FlutterinBantam

heh heh heh.. Move fcukin out .


Cnunts like that don't respond .... You got yourself bollocked there OP


FOR SALE




Only answer.:mad:

spylon

If you can get into the house at all, after trashing the place you could consider calling one of those sex-chat-n-**** numbers from their landline, leave the phone off the hook, then sit back in the comfort of your own home and gloat inwardly as their bill rises exponentially over the next three weeks.

For added drama, root out the husbands porn collection, and leave it strewn across the marital bed.

NilByMouth

spylon wrote: »

For added drama, root out the husbands porn collection, and leave it strewn across the marital bed.

or use your own if you cant be bothered searching

Overheal

Now would be the perfect time to reclaim your backyard without a noisy dog.

http://www.petco.com/product/104027/PetSafe-Outdoor-Bark-Control.aspx?cm_mmc=CSEMGooglebase-_-Dog-_-PetSafe-_-1127594&mr:trackingCode=5324DAE1-7A19-DE11-B4E3-0019B9C043EB&mr:referralID=NA

Do some gardening, have a barbecue, drink a beer, etc.

FlutterinBantam

Heh heh, those kind of lowlifes don't respond.

get the fcuk out of the kip..... rapido.

mobius42

I know where we should have the next AH beers!:D

Commonsense

Was thinking of having BBQ any way
Wont really dont anything 'bad' as it will come back to you, Karama camellion in all

But seriously debating about weed killer on their plants
Just the odd spray - pssst pssst

The estate is is quiet and nice just 'theres always one' scenario. The rest of the 'block' hate the family also, so its not just me. Though nicking a for sale sign off a random house and sticking it in their drive has serious hilarity bells
- even better one that says sold over the 'for sale'

120_Minutes

nothing says "get out" like a flaming cross* in the front garden.





*thats to make them look racist. i am assuming the OP's neighbours are caucasian

TheTubes

we don't normally burn the crosses on our own lawns, we burn the crosses on their lawns.

drunkymonkey

120_Minutes wrote: »

nothing says "get out" like a flaming cross* in the front garden.





*thats to make them look racist. i am assuming the OP's neighbours are caucasian

you mean a flaming lowercase T ?

Maddison

TheTubes wrote: »

Am I the only person who thought about ejaculating in their letter box after reading this?

On re-reading that....no I thought It too:o

Rented Mule

Franco Future Fog wrote: »

It would be cool to walk into a pet shop and ask for: "1 swarm of locusts please "

I believe that they keep them next to the boils and pestilence.

LouOB

Rented Mule wrote: »

I believe that they keep them next to the boils and pestilence.

And the horses

*seriously 3days??:P

not yet

Put a dead dog in her letterbox

silverharp

how about place crime scene tape across their gates and draw some outlines of corpses on their drive.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

TheTubes wrote: »

Am I the only person who thought about ejaculating in their letter box after reading this?

No u are not:D:D

ocallagh

put an ad in daft for house for 500/month. arrange the first viewing to coincide with their return from the airport