Whats your opinion on drugs and the OH??

This

How much is too much? What do you consider a hard drug? does your partner take drugs? Would you take drugs with your partner etc

After a long heated discussion I still dunno where I stand, not sure alot of the ladies I was chatting with at the weekend do either!!

My fella has taken alot of drugs but now only smokes weed every now and again but never around me as I am totally anti drug, but would never stop someone from doing them and dont lecture etc. So i was asked how if i am so anti drugs how can i be with someone who has done drugs and now smokes occasionally.

He knows straight out never to around me and if he does anything else Im gone... and yes I know I am being hypocritical.... but at the end of the day he has his own life and does his own thing so who am I to control him?

Michellenman

Wouldn't bother me. As long as if I ask him not to smoke them around me and he complies then I don't really care. For soft drugs that is, it'd be different if he was addicted to Heroine, y'know?

WIZE

think about it this way :

If a person is intent on taking drugs they know the Health risks
What they don't know is how it affects the people who care about the user.
Drugs are a bad thing although I don't put smoking grass in the same league
The money spent on harder drugs is a selfish thing when it could be better spent on things that would improve your life and relationship

MJOR

I broke up with a guy because he was doing drugs. I have no tolerance for them in my life. My OH feels the same. I have a live and let lie attitude but not where drugs are concerned in my life. Have no objection to others but will not have them in my home or company

Lia_lia

When me and my boyfriend got together I was taking drugs quite frequently. He was too, but not as much as me. We used to take ecstasy a lot together and he would take drugs with the guys he lived with. But then last summer we both pretty much stopped. I guess we had seen how they had harmed people we know and my body just couldn't take it anymore really.

He still smokes weed a bit but I don't really care about that. I actually get more annoyed with him if he gets really drunk.

It depends on the person and how they see the drug in question I guess. If my boyfriend was going out taking coke every weekend I wouldn't be able to stay with him, but with weed I'd be grand. Other people could see weed as a reason to break up.

TheSprawl

Personally, I couldn't be with someone who was as ignorant as to be completely anti-drugs. (I'm a guy btw)

I couldn't be with a waster who did drugs to excess far too often either.

I would and do do drugs with my OH.

panda100

My last boyfriend definatly had an alcohol problem (so many Irish guys do!), which I was okay with as I could tell he was an nice and fun person without the drink. One night when we were out he did coke and only told me the week after. It freaked me out a lot as he didnt seem any differnt to me on the night, but the week following his coke night he was acting very strange to me. He was very aloof to me,his hands were very sweaty and there was a paranoid vibe of him.

That was my one and only experience of dating someone who does drugs and I wouldnt go back there.

I wouldnt mind him smoking weed ocassionally,its the harder drugs that freak me out.

jellie

id be interested to see other womens opinions on this..

when i met my ex he didnt touch anything, a lot of his friends did, he always said he hated it, got v upset about a friend taking pills one night. about a yr into our relationship he took half a pill when out without me & arrived home to me in a total state. in fairness he had drank a lot, but there was something different about him that made me ask if hed taken something, which i had never had any reason to ask before & never would have considered him doing. me in my innocence hadnt a clue what to do with him, was a pretty scary night for me. anyway, that started it all..

he didnt go near them for awhile, then we broke up for a bit. while we were apart hed done pills a good few more times. but i didnt want to be with someone who was into that so he promised he was done. but he wasnt and he kept going back to it, and then onto other stuff. anyway, eventually we broke up.

i hated the thought of him taking them. in fairness i am a worrier, i worry about everything. while he could tell me all he liked "theyre fine etc etc" the horror stories you hear would always come back to me. yes i know theyre probably just meant to scare you, but hey thats me. & then theres the whole aspect of never knowing exactly what youre taking.

in theory im with the people who say "its their body they can do what they want with it", cause yeah it is his body. but its different when its someone you love. i loved him and didnt want anything to harm him, and in my mind drugs had the potential to do that.

ive been speaking to him every now & then lately, for all sorts of stupid reasons, & hes in a "i miss you, lets get back together" phase. while its not actually possible cause too much crap happened there, if it WERE possible i would be telling him i wouldnt want him doing them anymore (although he claims he doesnt but it doesnt really matter at this stage.. )

This

TheSprawl wrote: »

Personally, I couldn't be with someone who was as ignorant as to be completely anti-drugs.

Its unfair to assume while I am anti drugs that I am ignorant seeing as it would mean I would know nothing about drugs. While I am not claiming to be an expert, I have seen first hand the effects of drugs on family and friends and yes while the statistics will tell you 'its a 1 in ten case' and there is always the usual talk of 'must have been a bad trip' etc I feel I have seen the negative side of drugs and there for choose to not get involved with them. Maybe it is ignorance because I havnt taken drugs so there for dont know the positive effects.... know a dealer?!

Like some people choose to not to drink or abstain from sex I choose to not do drugs and to not be in the company of others who do them.

allabouteve

Not interested in someone whos off their face on anything, be it heroin, weed or alcohol.

Anyone else can do what they like and I won't judge, but no place for it in my life. I don't even drink though, so I suppose I'm one extreme.

Dragan

BVB wrote: »

think about it this way :

If a person is intent on taking drugs they know the Health risks
What they don't know is how it affects the people who care about the user.
Drugs are a bad thing although I don't put smoking grass in the same league
The money spent on harder drugs is a selfish thing when it could be better spent on things that would improve your life and relationship

LoL, what, like dinner and a few drinks?

Not everything needs to be put back into a relationship and people should be allowed to do what they want to do. As long as it does not have a negative impact on the relationship there is no problem.

If it starts to impact, then you need to figure out how to sort it.

Oh The Humanity

Although I've done everything myself in the past (bar heroin) I dont do much more than smoke weed and drink now. My BF likes a smoke too so happy days.

As much as I wouldn't go near a coke fiend, I could never be with a drug virgin either. I dont have any friends like that either although I do have siblings who are non drug users.

Its just a different lifestyle and although I am mostly retired I find people who have never taken drugs alien and slightly scary! You have to watch your P's and Q's with them!

Fugly

I have friends who do use drugs, thats their choice. But I'd never date a man who used, regardless of frequency or potentancy.

I have gotten flack from friends about it, saying as a gf I don't have the right to tell someone not to use. I agree but I have the right to choose not be with someone who uses. I also get the but alcohol is worse than weed arguement, for me I won't be with a man who drank excessively. I detest smoking, it turns my stomach in very real way so I wouldn't date a smoker weed/tobacco even if they didn't smoke around me.

I dated a friend {2yrs} I knew he had used previously, he knew my position and I never once forced/ bullied him into to dating me after we kissed at a party. He said he didn't use anymore, so after a couple of months of kissing we started to go out. We broke up in Jan of this year, in the following months I found out he smoked [both] when we were together. I was and am still hurt. he want to do so that was his choice but it's my choice to make an informed decision who I sleep with. He went out of his way to deceive me, which of course was the most hurtful part.

{sorry to ramble} He also cheated with a "friend" of ours, a violent drunk {she admits that herself} who had a fiance and drug problem and She is an overweight little person. I could not make this sh*t up. And I'll be honest the deception about smoking was just as hurtful as the infedelity.

TheSprawl

This wrote: »

Its unfair to assume while I am anti drugs that I am ignorant seeing as it would mean I would know nothing about drugs. While I am not claiming to be an expert, I have seen first hand the effects of drugs on family and friends and yes while the statistics will tell you 'its a 1 in ten case' and there is always the usual talk of 'must have been a bad trip' etc I feel I have seen the negative side of drugs and there for choose to not get involved with them. Maybe it is ignorance because I havnt taken drugs so there for dont know the positive effects.... know a dealer?!

Like some people choose to not to drink or abstain from sex I choose to not do drugs and to not be in the company of others who do them.

You said you were "totally anti-drugs", that's a different thing to choosing not to do them or associate with people who do them....

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I find people who have never taken drugs alien and slightly scary! You have to watch your P's and Q's with them!

Yeah, I do too. Gotta be careful what you say around them. It's a mindset I have some difficultly understanding.

allabouteve

TheSprawl wrote: »

You said you were "totally anti-drugs", that's a different thing to choosing not to do them or associate with people who do them....


Yeah, I do too. Gotta be careful what you say around them. It's a mindset I have some difficultly understanding.

''Totally anti-drugs'' is not the equivelent of ''ignorant''.

Why would you have to be more careful around an anti-drugs person than anyone else? Would you be more careful talking about driving around someone who cycles everywhere?

I have difficulty understanding your mindset.

TheSprawl

I personally think that being totally anti-drugs is a bit ignorant, the same way I think being totally anti-religion or any other practice is also.

Live and let live.

Fugly

Its just a different lifestyle and although I am mostly retired I find people who have never taken drugs alien and slightly scary! You have to watch your P's and Q's with them![/quote]

Why? I drink, not to extremes. I've only been drunk once. I didn't get the appeal. I've never smoked or taken drugs. I know I sound like a *goody two shoes* but I just never saw the appeal. I do have fun, I find I do things sober that other people need drugs/drink to do. I've never understood why.

Also I find it odd that all of your friends fit into one Group so to speak. Although I prefer a mixed group in every way. :rolleyes: Sesame street has alot to answer for.

skywards

Having seen my family torn to bits by drugs and alcohol, there is not a snowballs chance in hell I'd date someone who used. However, I am not one of those people that insists on the "drugs are bad!" mantra and tries to force my view upon people. I just wouldn't date someone who did them..

TheSprawl

Fugly wrote: »

Why? I drink, not to extremes. I've only been drunk once. I didn't get the appeal. I've never smoked or taken drugs. I know I sound like a *goody two shoes* but I just never saw the appeal. I do have fun, I find I do things sober that other people need drugs/drink to do. I've never understood why.

Why do you assume that people who drink/do other drugs need them to do things?

They're just another enjoyable part of life. Doesn't mean you can't have fun doing things sober too though.

Fugly

Well I don't. I'm simply saying that is a common reason among drug users, a way to escape, feel social. "dutch courage" to hit on a girl. drink/drugs to relax. I know users who are chemists/pharmacologists and are among the most informed as one can be. However I still wouldn't.
I think anything that is moved from the "recreational" to the "need" category is unhealthy regardless of what it is; drugs, drink, dieting.

But like I say I'm not assuming all do.

BumbleB

Drugs is always a downward spiral it never ends good.Always avoided them like the plague.

Vibrant people don't take drugs of any description.

Chinafoot

TheSprawl wrote: »

I personally think that being totally anti-drugs is a bit ignorant, the same way I think being totally anti-religion or any other practice is also.

Live and let live.

I would consider myself anti-drugs too. And I'm perfectly happy to "live and let live", I just expect you to do your living away from me. It's not something that interests me. I've had first hand bad experiences of friends on drugs and I have no intention of experiencing that in a relationship. That's my choice to make, just like its your choice to take drugs.... it doesn't make me ignorant or narrow-minded. I'm not going to force my opinion on you, or tell you you shouldn't be doing it...but I'm also not going to get into a relationship with someone who uses drugs.

Would it be ignorant and narrow minded if I said I absolutely detested smoking and had no interest in dating someone who did it? I don't think so, in fact refusing to date a smoker is a fairly common thing these days. Why am I narrowminded and ignorant if I apply the same to drugs?

Also the watching your Ps and Q's comment...that's a pretty pathetic attitude. Just because someone isn't into drugs doesn't make them some prissy dickhead with no personality. So far the only small minded attitudes are not coming from the anti-drugs side.

Khannie

I think He-Man knows best.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gRCcCeLAdw

edit: Seriously though....alcohol is a drug, you just drink it instead of smoking it, and it's freely available. If you say you're "totally anti-drugs", you'd need to include alcohol in there, or somehow try to justify that it's not a drug.

This

Chinafoot wrote: »

So far the only small minded attitudes are not coming from the anti-drugs side.

agree!!!

G86

I dated a guy last year who smoked weed daily, he didn't see it as an addiction but in my opinion it was. I liked him alot though and compromised by asking him not to do it around me and told him I didn't want to know about it, however he didn't agree and even at one stage lit up in my SHARED house without even asking me - completely inappropriate. In his opinion that was the way he was and he didn't want to hide it, which is fair enough, but he was very judgemental in the same way some posters here seem to be about the fact that I didn't agree with it. I was referred to as naive simply because I wasn't interested in smoking weed or associating myself with anyone who had to smoke it on a regular basis. I couldn't stay with him - it just wouldn't have worked out.

I don't think it could work to be honest, it's all well and good turning a blind eye but it's not always easy to do, no matter how much you like them. If he/she liked you enough then they'd quit for you.

coffee_cake

I'm fairly anti drugs (let and let live, but do it away from me thanks) and wouldn't have any tolerance of an OH doing them to be completely honest. Not only would it make me v uncomfortable but it would probably mean we're not suited.
OH luckily doesn't do any, so it's all good

Bob the Seducer

Khannie wrote: »

I think He-Man knows best.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gRCcCeLAdw

edit: Seriously though....alcohol is a drug, you just drink it instead of smoking it, and it's freely available. If you say you're "totally anti-drugs", you'd need to include alcohol in there, or somehow try to justify that it's not a drug.

It's a legal one though, which means that its far less likely you're going to end up with people who are from or associate with known criminal families/gangs in your life because you like a pint from time to time!

Dragan

BumbleB wrote: »

Drugs is always a downward spiral it never ends good.Always avoided them like the plague.

Vibrant people don't take drugs of any description.

LoL, hundreds of thousands of peoplel live perfectly normal lives everyday even though they do drugs. Addiction is a far bigger issue than just the substance or thing that the person is addicted to.

I know people who have destroyed their lives and health because they were addicted to the jobs.

Look, it's fair to say that you don't like the concept of drugs ( illegal ones that is ) and what they do. Thats fine, but the idea that anyone who touches them will end up destroying themselves is just foolish.

And the simple generalisation of your last sentence is hardly worth touching on.

sam34

G86 wrote: »

If he/she liked you enough then they'd quit for you.

i dont like use of illicit drugs, and would not go out with someone who's into them.

thats my choice, and it is my right to choose.

however, i dont agree with your sentence above. i dont think anyone has a right to demand or emotionally blackmail anyone with the "if you liked me enough you'd do x/y/z" argument. if you and your OH cannot agree on an issue like this which means such a lot to both of you, then it may be irreconcilable.

as a comparison, imagine the outrage if someone came into the ladies lounge and said their boyfriend was asking them to perform a particular sexual act which they didnt want to do, and he was putting on the pressure saying "if you really loved me you'd ...". its the sort of thing said by teenage lads to their g/f's. (and probably by older lads who retain a teenage mindset). everyone would be up in arms, saying it was unreasonable of him, and she shouldnt do anything she didnt want to do etc.

it is juvenile, manipulative reasoning, imo, and has no place in an adult relationship.

Xiney

I'm not anti-weed, I'm pretty much pro-legalization and all that.

But I'm also just about the biggest square on the face of the planet, and I'm totally fine with that. If my husband smoked weed over at a friend's house once or twice a year that'd be alright, but since he doesn't even do that I'm happy as well.

Anything "more" than weed and it wouldn't work out full stop.

liah

BumbleB wrote: »

Drugs is always a downward spiral it never ends good.Always avoided them like the plague.

Vibrant people don't take drugs of any description.

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. For many, drugs can be part of your normal life and not lead you on any "downward spiral." Professors, scientists, astronomers, philosophers, doctors.. any profession you can think of has had drug users. Some of the most amazing, well-rounded people in the world have done or do drugs.

And "vibrant people don't take drugs of any description?" Are you going?

Guess musicians, artists, philosophers, writers, etc. are horribly dull.

I don't care if people are against drugs but if you're going to be against them be against all of them-- alcohol included. People who think things like marijuana are horrible drugs and then go off and get plastered drunk do my nut in, considering alcohol is a more dangerous drug than marijuana.

I just don't like hypocrites or ignorance I suppose.

Anyway, I wouldn't care what drugs a guy was doing as long as he was still a productive member of society, had his head about him, and wasn't addicted. I'd prefer him not to be on heroin, meth, cocaine or many other chemicals though, at least not on a consistent basis. Once in awhile is okay, but chemicals tend to be highly physically damaging. Naturals like marijuana and hash are fine for daily use or weekly use and I'd have absolutely no issue with. Natural hallucinogenics aren't as bad as most chemicals but being on mushrooms or peyote on a consistent basis I might have trouble with.

It depends highly on the individual and how well he knows how to control himself. It's like anything else. I don't want someone who's going to over-eat, over-drink, play videogames too often, whatever. Moderation and knowledge is key.