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Bible jokes

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  • 26-06-2009 1:03am
    #1
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,836 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    What did Jonah say while he was loading all the animals into the ark?
    "Now I've herd everything."

    Who was the best financier in the Bible?
    Noah: He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation

    What insect went to Egypt on a donkey?
    The Flea: The angel told Joseph to take mary, the baby and flee into Egypt.

    What simple affliction brought about the death of Sampson?
    Falling Arches

    What animal could noah not trust?
    The Cheetah

    Why was Adam a famous runner?
    Because he was first in the human race?

    How do we know Cain took a nap when he left Eden?
    He went to the land of Nod

    Who was the first space traveler?
    Elijah: He went up in a fiery chariot.


    Why was Adam created first?
    To give him a chance to say something.

    Who was the most successful physician in the Bible?
    Job: He had the most patients


    Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?
    When Joseph served in Pharoah's court

    How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
    By his net income

    Why was Solomon the wisest man in the world?
    Because he had so many wives to advise him

    Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
    When God gave Moses two tablets

    When did moses sleep with five people at once?
    When he slept with his fore fathers

    How do we know Joseph was only 12" tall ?
    Pharoah made a ruler of him

    When is high financing first mentioned in the Bible?
    When pharoah's daughter took a little prophet from bulrushes

    Moses: The guy who broke all the ten commandments at once

    Who in the Bible drove a car?
    The apostles: They were all in one accord


    What did Noah tell his sons fishing off the ark?
    Go easy on the worms.


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    #2
    banquo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    Why was Adam created first?
    To give him a chance to say something.

    Excellent.


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    #3
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    When was the high jump first mentioned in the bible?
    When our lord cleared the temple.

    When was elasticity first mentioned in the bible?
    When Jesus tied his ass to the tree and walked into Jerusalem.

    What was the first motorbike mentioned in the bible?
    When Noah came down the mountain on a Triumph.


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