Becoming an escort....

redfacedbear

Unregistered wrote: »

Too late. You have showed your character by basically nit-picking and taking things out of context by showing how the OP seems to you and trying to spin the OP as a person with major issues to other lurkers/posters here.

You remind me of a tabloid journalist because of your nit-picking, hyperbole and taking little quotes to base your biast argument. From time to time MOST people suffer some sort of form of depression, have family problems. Oh and I love the way, just because the OP stated her father is well off you label this as a 'dominant parent.' Surely most of us have 'dominant parents' as there will always be the person who wears the trousers in a marriage. You have failed to mention that the OP is obviously confident, intelligent and has thought about this a lot. The OP said she took an overdose in a terrible time in her life a few years ago and you viciously label this as 'attempted suicide.' No need to bring the 'S' work up, thanks.

Your negative response sickens me because the intelligent responses on here have looked at both points of the argument whereas you sound like the Daily Mail with your negative popullism.

Good luck to the OP. You know what the advantages and disadvantages are of being an escourt - it's up to you now what action you take.

I've always found MAJD to be an insightful poster. Somewhat blunt at times but usually on the money. The quotes she used all leaped out at me too as warning signs for why this could not go well for OP.

On the father issue the OP did say that living at home was hell - and intimated that he was domineering if she did not say it outright.

OP there was a fascinating thread in Humanities from a former prostitute that I would highly recommend you find and read before you make a decision. Unfortunately I've done a quick search and can't find it - if you have time perhaps you could take a proper look yourself.

LegacyUser

I would just like to back up the point that voluntarily entering what you consider to be the safe, mild side of the sex industry is an endorsement and condones the whole spectrum of that industry, including trafficking, violence and child abuse.

This viewpoint may be unpopular, especially with punters, because they are the ones who have the most vested interest in compartmentalizing. In any discussion of prostitution you always have the people who are so quick to bring forward the convenient examples of the willing whores, while defiantly closing their eyes to the fact that these are the tiny minority. Just as they can compartmentalize sex with an individual prostitute so as not to feel guilty in their marriage, they can also comartmentalize the voluntary prostitutes from the much greater number of truly desperate and abused.

OP, I have to agree that you come across as indulging in a Pretty Woman fantasy. Here's another film recommendation for you: Lilya 4Ever.

I also have to wonder if there is another element to your fantasy of wanting to punish your father or your family: "look how far you made me go!" The truth is, you have options - shock horror, being poor for a couple of years - and your dabbling in this industry is an insult to those women who would kill for your other options.

irish_bob

Unregistered wrote: »

Too late. You have showed your character by basically nit-picking and taking things out of context by showing how the OP seems to you and trying to spin the OP as a person with major issues to other lurkers/posters here.

You remind me of a tabloid journalist because of your nit-picking, hyperbole and taking little quotes to base your biast argument. From time to time MOST people suffer some sort of form of depression, have family problems. Oh and I love the way, just because the OP stated her father is well off you label this as a 'dominant parent.' Surely most of us have 'dominant parents' as there will always be the person who wears the trousers in a marriage. You have failed to mention that the OP is obviously confident, intelligent and has thought about this a lot. The OP said she took an overdose in a terrible time in her life a few years ago and you viciously label this as 'attempted suicide.' No need to bring the 'S' work up, thanks.

Your negative response sickens me because the intelligent responses on here have looked at both points of the argument whereas you sound like the Daily Mail with your negative popullism.

Good luck to the OP. You know what the advantages and disadvantages are of being an escourt - it's up to you now what action you take.

at least MAJD tells it like it is , you on the other hand have an underhanded agenda , your post is a wolf in sheeps clothing and full of false reassurances masqeurading as open minded opinion

Victor

Folks, this thread is about the OP, not you. So back on topic.

The Sweeper

The whole point is that I don't believe the OP knows the disadvantages of being an escort, and I do believe she's a vulnerable person based on what she has posted.

As for 'viciously labelling' taking an overdose as an attempted suicide, what should I do, go back and edit my post to read 'a cry for help'? Same issue. The OP is a vulnerable person with apparent esteem issues who's been feeling pretty low. My worry is that she generally believes working as an escort will be empowering, financially, sexually and emotionally, and I believe if that doesn't happen for her - which I truly believe it won't - she's going to take it very hard.

BubbleWrap85

What I think MAJD was merely trying to do by selecting comments and quoting them was to put pieces of the jigsaw together to give everyone a better picture of the OP!

I've posted before but I really don't think it's a good idea. It's selfish and almost mocking to anyone else with money problems.

It's unrealistic as she's never had a one night stand before and I know we joke about Coppers, but I really don't think pulling a randomer in there can be equated with escorting.

Innocence, vulnerability, naivety ooze from the OP's posts - I would presume that prostitution for most is the last chance saloon. To me, it does NOT appear that she has explored all other avenues before turning to this, which shows lack of either intelligence or maturity.

If prostitution was such a cushy and rewarding lifestyle, with minimal repercussions, then the dole queues wouldn't be so long. Fact.

[Are escorts on the Rose of Tralee out for sex also? Shouldn't they look for a different label?]

smcgiff

It is almost certainly socially inept/unclean and plain weird men you will end up being screwed by (no point using the word sex), and not the likes of Richard Gere or Charlie Sheen.

It is highly likely that you will not stop this after a couple of months if you consider it easy money - especially as you are the type of person that has a tendency to spend beyond your means.

And in only a couple of months you are going to meet a complete arsehole that will mess you up.


Now, from you what you've said. Yes you will be very attractive to these men, simply because you are FRESH MEAT - and they will prize that highly.

Also, I certainly wouldn't assume that the guy ringing up saying he's a 30 year old virgin ACTUALLY is a 30 year old virgin - they are willing to pay to see a prostitute. Being a 30 year old virgin may be part of HIS fantasy.

I honestly can't imagine any debt problem being bad enough that would require prostituting. Does not being able to go out at the weekend or buy some must have shoes really warrant being screwed by a middle aged, paunchy, sweaty, married father with a disease, with a possible violent streak.*

*okay, this is worse case scenario, but, as I said above you wont be picked up by a Porsche driving, single twenty year old with a six-pack.

Best of luck either way you go.

Dr Bolouswki

AH right I get it - it will all be ok if she manages to sort a select clientele of only rich, good looking young men?

Man - I wish I lived in your crazy cartoon world where all johns are ugly socially malajusted perverts and anyone contemplating this path has esteem issues.

smcgiff

Yeah - she could win the lottery and get you! :rolleyes:

,mnb

I would say talk to your closest women friends about this. Im sure they will quickly talk you out of it. Honestly I dont think a mans opinion is enough in this situation especially a man who isnt related to you or isnt your friend.

LegacyUser

I used to work in a company that let apartments on a short term basis in Dublin. After a while, we noticed there was touring escorts using the apartments as their base. Obviously, this was strictly against the rules and as people had to check in first, most of the staff became familiar with a certain escort website to suss them out. It was surprisingly easy to pick them out...wide eyed young girls (be it from drugs or not) came in to pay in wads of cash. Some had a 'boyfriend' or some stayed with a female 'friend'. What happened was that if anything was suspicious, the person checking them in would check the website and BINGO, the address for the encounters would be OUR address (roughly)...then we could match the photo..and sometimes, they were that stupid, they gave the same mobile number! They were approached and told that if they did not vacate the premises asap, the Guards would be called.
Sometimes, you would have suspicions but no proof. There was a gate to the complex and only guests could use a fob to open the gate or buzz people in..but everyone walked by the office. I remember one day, there was a constant stream of men coming in every half hour (I'm not joking)..from business men to builders in high-vis jackets to student types...I thought to myself, how many showers a day can you have???
If you check out this website, the women who offer everything under the sun as an experience also offer the GFE...do you really think somebody who is paying for an experience will make do with the missionary position? And even if you have your friend as security, how quick is it for some man to overpower you, quieten you and anally rape you for example? What happens if your client looks physically bigger than your minder..do you reject them at the door?..do you think they would be pissed off enough to rat you out to the apartment owners (who may not be as forgiving as my ex-employers), local pimps or rate you bad on the website. Yes, the punters write reviews and give a mark out of ten for your performance.
Do you not think that some men who read that you offer only straight sex and GFE, will take that as you are wet behind the ears?...and then try to either force you to do other things and try it on.
It is NOT the same as a one night stand, you will not be with your friends having a good time beforehand and then fancy a guy enough to cop off. It will be in a cold clinical apartment, you will answer the door to someone that you have 'vetted' by voice on the phone, then you will have to strip and perform sex acts. That's all it is..you will get no enjoyment.
You say you don't want to ask your family for help...and you are not entitled to Social Welfare. Is there even a friend you could confide in and explain you are thinking of going down this route? I know if a friend of mine told me this and was guaranteed a job in September, I would lend them money in a flash. This is no easy fix, so at then end of the day, if you need to live at home for two months then so be it...in twenty years time, you won't remember your two months at home..but you will remember your prostitution until you die.

babaloushka

Unregistered wrote: »

This is no easy fix, so at then end of the day, if you need to live at home for two months then so be it...in twenty years time, you won't remember your two months at home..but you will remember your prostitution until you die.

In a nutshell ...

BaubleFreak

real life prostitution is not like Pretty Woman. real life is messy, sleazy, dirty and you'll be nothing more to the 'customers' than a casual alternative to their w*nking hand. saying you've no moral objections to prostitution is all well and good, i myself think it should be legalised for the sake of the girls in that situation, but the reality of the job is hugely different to the idea of it. there is no prostitute who'd say they enjoy their job and mean it.

there are always other options.

BubbleWrap85

I know I shouldn't have but I googled one of those escort sites in Dublin - OH MY GOD!

There's a guy there who seems to have had 50 different escorts, in the last year or so! You give reviews on what they were like - what they were up for. I'm shocked. I think it's a real eye opener to the OP though - the type of sexual favours and acts that they're asked AND EXPECTED to indulge in - there are complaints if you shy away from doing EXACTLY what they want - you're providing a service, and you have to be willing to participate in whatever is required of you.

Would be very interested if the OP came back to let us know her decision. Definitely not a good road to do down - one of shame and dirtyness. Disgusting.

The Corinthian

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

The whole point is that I don't believe the OP knows the disadvantages of being an escort, and I do believe she's a vulnerable person based on what she has posted.

In the case of the OP, I would agree in so far as she believes that escort work, prostitution or whatever you wish to call it will be a magic wand for her financial problems and it is quite possible that it will not be so rosy. I do get the feeling that she's possibly kidding herself just as much as if she had proposed a multi-level marketing scheme as the way to dig herself out of a hole.

However, I have also noticed that many of the responses against prostitution are essentially moral opinions dressed up as practical advice. Personally, I'm morally indifferent on the issue; I've never used the services of a prostitute or been one (although there have been one night stands where upon waking - and sobering up - I definitely felt dirty), so I really am not qualified to advise in a practical manner either way. Neither are many of the other posters here.

herya

The Corinthian wrote: »

However, I have also noticed that many of the responses against prostitution are essentially moral opinions dressed up as practical advice. Personally, I'm morally indifferent on the issue; I've never used the services of a prostitute or been one (although there have been one night stands where upon waking - and sobering up - I definitely felt dirty), so I really am not qualified to advise in a practical manner either way. Neither are many of the other posters here.

You might be right but I think it has a lot to do with the OP motivation and attitude. I do not oppose prostitution and my reaction would be very different if the OP said: "Sex is my passion and especially kinky sex, I had dozens of random partners this year, I love it when strangers f*ck me, I can't get enough of c*ck no matter who it's attached to, I now have some money trouble so I'd like to try escorting so that I can feed my appetite and pay my debts at the same time". That would be a true pro motivation - good luck (with safety precautions).

The OP is walking into it with her eyes closed though and she might not control it at all which in her age and situation may end up really badly.

The Corinthian

herya wrote: »

The OP is walking into it with her eyes closed though and she might not control it at all which in her age and situation may end up really badly.

I agree with that and in fact even said something similar in the first part of my last post. To me it just sounds like a 'get rich quick' solution.

My comment was directed more at people who seem to be projecting their moral revulsion towards prostitution and calling it advice. Some recent examples of this include:

• "Definitely not a good road to do down - one of shame and dirtyness" - This was essentially only one step away from fire and brimstone.
• "there is no prostitute who'd say they enjoy their job and mean it." - unless the person is an expert on the topic, they are simply projecting their own opinions.
• "but you will remember your prostitution until you die" - the person who posted this might, but different people have different psychologies. The World is full of people who can do pretty much anything and forget about it five minutes later - try spending some time in the Balkans if you don't believe me.

Of course, these bits of 'advice' aside, I would think twice if I were the OP about such a solution to her financial problems, but frankly for purely amoral reasons.

herya

The Corinthian wrote: »

"but you will remember your prostitution until you die" - the person who posted this might, but different people have different psychologies. The World is full of people who can do pretty much anything and forget about it five minutes later - try spending some time in the Balkans if you don't believe me.

True in general, but the OP does not seem to be such a person.

The Corinthian

herya wrote: »

True in general, but the OP does not seem to be such a person.

You'd be surprised what sort people really can be.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replys once again. Its been very insightful.

For the time being I have decided to put the escort idea on the long finger. There is no doubt that escorting seems like a very ,very attractive offer especially when you have no money to survive and banks banging at you door but I think its the wrong route to go down.

I got the idea for escorting while reading an article in Now magazine about three weeks ago. A women said she was £60,000 in debt and had payed off all her loans in 6 months by just lying on her back in her local brothel. She made it sound so easy. I then went down to Easons and had a look at Biographies written be escorts. Belle du Jour and a few others made it sound so impossibly glamorous that I thought it would be the easiest money i'd ever make.

However,I think I realise that sleeping with lots of differnt men to pay of my debts is not a good idea and thats why I've hesitited so much. One guy sent me an email today to wear a special uniform for him. Another asking for a price reduction?! The going rate for escorts in Ireland is €130 for half an hour,with prices dropping by the day with the recession. While to me at the moment €130 is an enormous amount of money,I dont think its what Im worth,my body just reduced to a cheap buisness transaction.

I think even If you are sex mad and into all types of kinky stuff , the dynamic of sex changes when one party is paying for it. The sex cannot be about your pleasure,as it should, but soley the other persons pleasure. They are the paying cutomer and so what they says goes.

I think the physical risks are the things that scare me the most. Its a funny old world because a friend of mine called over last night randomly and she has just started working in the Infectious diseases clinic in the Mater. I havent told her anything about considering escorting but she was telling me all about these differnt STD's she saw.She couldn't get over how prevelant HIV was in Ireland.
It doesnt matter how much safe sex I practise there is a BIG risk of condoms bursting/breaking etc. Aside from the sexual health risks, I think the physical risks are also just too much. I do believe that the vast majority of escort users are your average joe soap who have money to burn and not the rapists/murderers as suggested on here,I would be putting myself in a very risky situation. While the horror stories about escorting In Ireland are far and few between there is always a risk,and this frightens me a lot.
Also more than likely I would be sleeping with other womens husbands and boyfriends, doing that is not in my nature.

I think its awful on Escort Ireland how they rate the escorts physical attractivness,body and sexual performance. Who are these men to judge these poor women on such things? I dont think I could cope with my physical apperance and other such things being slated.

So back to the jobs drawing board again.....

herya

I am happy to hear this OP. I hope that you will overcome your problems without engaging in risky activities - the best of luck to you, you have researched the escorting option fairly well and you can put your mind to getting a decent job soon. Maybe you could try and loan a smaller sum from your father that you could use to make amends with the bank or possibly negotiate some form of a consolidation loan with them if you pay them a lump sum?

BTW if you'd like to have your CV professionally reviewed/edited I can do it for you for free, just PM me (you can remove name/address details).

I keep my fingers crossed for you.

G-Money

Sounds like you made the right decision OP. It sounds like there's lots of negative consequences of that type of work and few, if any, positive aspects.

As you rightly point out there's the physical risk, the risk of STD's etc and also what you'd think of yourself further down the line. Also, imagine you meet a guy and you told him or he somehow found out. I can't speak for every guy but if I met a girl and she told me she'd done that type of work, I'd have to walk away.

Good luck with the job search, it's not that long until September and in the meantime I'm sure you will get something. Even working in a cafe, or bar or a McDonalds I think would be better than being an escort/hooker.

All the best.

The Recliner

OK I think we are done for now, closing this thread before it turns into a humanities discussion