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depressed, mostly because i'm gay

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  • 05-07-2009 3:20pm
    #1
    gayguy2009
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭


    I recently finished secondary school and thought i'd be so happy to get out of there. Now I feel like ****. I never see any of my friends anymore because there all working or either with there girlfriends. Now I feel like a sad loner. I only see my best m8 only one night out of the week. All my mates have a girl to go out with and I don't have anyone. I really want a guy to go out to but its hard to find one, since i'm not out. I'm even on loads of those gay personals websites but no luck. Most of them are looking for sex. I kind of just want a gay friend I can go out to or someone who's in the same boat as me, and the same age, just to chat. Does anyone else feel like this or am I the only one?


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    #2
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,189 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    How you're feeling happens many people at your age, regardless of sexuality. To feel less isolated, you could get in touch with Belong 2.


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    #3
    !!!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 329 ✭✭!!!


    Are you out to anyone at all? I suggest you come out to a girl you can trust, who is a very good friend. You could perhaps go out to gay venues with her until you get to know more people?

    What county are you in first of all?


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    #4
    SebastianDB
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭SebastianDB
    MrSebastian2you


    Hi, to be honest I am sorry to read ur text but in the same time happy, happy to know that I am not the only one. Many times I ask myself why me? Why do I have to be gay? Seen few doctors, few concillors, cried so many times.
    I dont know what to say, what to do to help you, but I say this, you are not the only one!


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Meh. I've been out for a few years now. Initially i lost some friends, mainly guys i should add. I went to a new school not because i am gay but as it was a better place at the time. Ive noticed in life that when ppl know you are gay they treat you differently. Either they accept you as before as you are or they make unfair judgments based on a you being 'gay' and not like them. What im saying is there are a lot of assholes in Irish society and you just have to adapt, get on with life.

    In relation to finding other gay people, gaydar and other sites like that are only good for quick fixes. Personally meeting ppl directly is the best option of making real friends. That said i'm 22 and i have only two real friends that i can really count. Most ppl i meet who are gay tend to be incredibly fake and superficial. I dont want to name names but even in places such as Outhouse and college societies you get the feeling that everyone around you is only looking for a quick buzz and then to dispose of you.

    I'll admit what i'm saying is rather negative but realistically finding proper gay friends in this country is very hard. Both of the friends i mentioned earlier are both guys btw. My advice to you is irregardless of what others think/ say of you, you must above all else like yourself. You said in your first post that you were a loner. So what? Your'e alone. I like being alone. Being alone means i don't have to deal with other ppl's crappy lives. It also makes you incredibly confident and self sufficient. Which in turn makes you more attractive to possible friends. I hope some of what i wrote helps you in this process.


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    #6
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,736 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    gayguy2009 wrote: »
    I recently finished secondary school and thought i'd be so happy to get out of there. Now I feel like ****. I never see any of my friends anymore because there all working or either with there girlfriends. Now I feel like a sad loner. I only see my best m8 only one night out of the week. All my mates have a girl to go out with and I don't have anyone. I really want a guy to go out to but its hard to find one, since i'm not out. I'm even on loads of those gay personals websites but no luck. Most of them are looking for sex. I kind of just want a gay friend I can go out to or someone who's in the same boat as me, and the same age, just to chat. Does anyone else feel like this or am I the only one?


    Don't panic - hang in there.:) I was also in your situation when I was your age. There is a support group for gay youth called BelongTo and they provide an excellent place to meet friends - and I mean genuine friends - and help develop your self of self esteem and self confidence.

    BelongTo's webpage is here:
    http://www.belongto.org/


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