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Would you tell?

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    #32
    I'lllearnye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 127 ✭✭I'lllearnye


    herya wrote: »
    Which might be good grounds for forgiveness indeed but it's the fiancee who needs to decide on this not the OP.



    The OP is not in the position to take his word on anything; it would actually be very unfair to demand that she becomes the guardian of the secret. It's between the two of them.

    All true, but if I were This, I'd still rather not get involved unless it was an extremely good friend. I say I'd do it for an extremely good friend because I'd be in a good position to know exactly what her fiance is like, and also what my friend is like (ie would she want to hear it? etc).
    I just think it's very dangerous ground. Although not the best situation, things might be alright between the couple and if it were me, I'd be afraid that I'd just make things worse.


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    #33
    herya
    Registered Users Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭herya


    I'lllearnye wrote: »
    All true, but if I were This, I'd still rather not get involved unless it was an extremely good friend. I say I'd do it for an extremely good friend because I'd be in a good position to know exactly what her fiance is like, and also what my friend is like (ie would she want to hear it? etc).
    I just think it's very dangerous ground. Although not the best situation, things might be alright between the couple and if it were me, I'd be afraid that I'd just make things worse.

    But if she's not such a good friend then the risk of losing her friendship is not so bad.


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    #34
    This
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭This


    I will see him 2night... and I know I will spend the whole day planning what to say!!!

    something along the lines of..... 'its only fair she knows and if you dont tell her I will etc'

    hopefully it will all go well :o


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    #35
    I'lllearnye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 127 ✭✭I'lllearnye


    Just tell him you wish he hadn't brought you into it and that you feel very uncomfortable knowing all this about your friend. Plus something along the lines of 'Do you not think it would be better to have a clean slate before you get married, imagine if she found out after you got married' etc.

    Good luck :)


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    #36
    I'lllearnye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 127 ✭✭I'lllearnye


    herya wrote: »
    But if she's not such a good friend then the risk of losing her friendship is not so bad.

    True again, but I'd feel bad if it were my words that caused the end of a relationship that might have been ticking along just as well without my intervention.
    Saying that, talking to the fiance seems to be the best option as he was the cause of all the hassle and it's up to him to put it right.


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