No-bonersville. Population Tallaght01. My bravest post ever :P

tallaght01

So, here we are with the shiny new men's health forum. Trying to get guys to discuss their health in an open and frank way.

We've talked about balls, pus, crabs and HIV. But one thing men suffer from a LOT, and really struggle to talk openly about is something that happens to nearly every bloke at some point in their life....the inability to get a stalker.

So, I figured I should get the ball rolling here. I'm going to relate my one (and so far only) episode of "non bonerism" (known as impotence, or erectile dysfunction to people far more eloquent than me).

I'm hoping people will post their experiences as well (remember unregistered posting is allowed). The reason I wanted to do this was because one of the commonest things you hear guys talking about when they have this problem is how they feel like it's happening to no-one else. When in reality it's probably happened to half their mates. But they just haven't told them.

So, cast your mind back to 1995. The Tallaght wilderness. A youthful and inexperienced Tallaght01 is wooing a fair young lady, with a combination of his wry charm, good lucks, and some strong liqueur.

Louise was a stunner, and had let me slide a hand up her blouse the previous time we met. She'd told me today was going to be the day that the Barry White CD was getting busted out of it's shiny wrapper, and some smooth hollywood style move-busting was gonna happen in the bedroom.

I'd thought about it since then. I hope I'm as good at this as that other bloke who nailed her last summer in Santa Ponsa. But tales of his enormous phallus, and co-ordinated nipple tweaking/ear licking had me feeling worried and inadequate.

I was quite nervous at the time, but didn't show it. In reality, I should have been more nervous, as I had no idea about how bad I would actually be at this kind of thing.

Her folks were up in B+Q sorting out a new plastic patio, and we fumbled on the couch. Not in a good way. Bra straps, belts, poxy hairbands. They all confused me, as my anxiety levels rose. Eventually she undid them herself, after I ended up with a fistful of pubes while trying to remove her belt.

Fast forward 10 minutes. Both of us lying in the nip on her single bed. Some feckin teddy bear eyeing me up. "Take me, tallaght01" she says. Not a ****ing hint of forepley, mind. Just basically a "lob it in there, boss" nod to her nether regions.

I stood there, like a deer in the headlights. A big flaccid, confused dear who's wondering how to shag your car.

So, up I climbed onto her.

"Just give us a minute there, love".

"Eh, ok, worever".

"It'll happen anytime now".

"What's wrong with it?"

"I dunno. Do you think there's something wrong with it?"

"yea, it must be broken".

"What?? Jesus H Christ. Me knob doesn't work!!!!".

Sweet mother of god, this isn't how tonight was supposed to go. I thought I was gonna be all Don Juan, but I was nothing more than flaccido domingo.

"There's no point in doing this if it doesn't work", she says.

"****. I can NOT believe my knob doesn't work. Bollocks".

So, off I go home, completely genuinely thinking me knob "doesn't work" lol. I was gutted.

We split because she needed a man who's penis works. Fair enough. But at the time I remember thinking this is the end of the world. Now I laugh my ass off at it.

Next time around with someone else it wasn't planned, and we hadn't spent time worrying about it. And it just happened.

Now, I'm accused of getting too many of them :P

I think I would have liked to read a post like this when I was a teenager who's knob didn't work.

Is anyone else willing to post their tales of woe in the bedroom. They don't even have to be boner stories. They can just be tales of how you messed up. I think it would help the younger guys out there, who often think everyone is an exppert except them.

Or am i gonna be the only poster here? Forever known at "The no-boner guy".

kaimera

happened not long ago; no drink involved nor anything of the like.

more a psychological thing; lot on the mind at the time which was quite important to us and i didn't think it was affecting me that much.

I was wrong

fail. bit of a savage blow to the old confidence (no pun intended like) but ffs! brain and bellend shouldn't be connected!

Dr Galen

credit where its due T01 that was brave.

I'm going to have a think. There have been plenty of such incidences, so I'll come up with the best one to share

sam34

as a female, i have been on the receiving end (or should that be the non-receiving end?:D) of this a few times.

drink can be a huge factor, the renowned "brewers droop". another problem that sometimes arises (no pun intended) with drink is when theres no issue getting a hard-on but he has difficulty finishing off, basically.

high-pressure situations, such as that described by tallaght, often lead to non-performance too.

the key things to remember are:

this is common
this happens most (if not all) guys at some stage
this is not the end of the world

i think its worth mentioning though that if this is happening you in the absence of alcohol/high expectations etc, and it is an issue most or all of the time, there are a few medical things that could be going on - depression, high blood pressure, to name just two.

a trip to the gp, while daunting, would be a good idea in this scenario. while it would be an awkward thing to discuss, remember the gp will have heard to hundreds of times before and if male, will prob have experienced it himself at some stage, and if female, will prob have come across (definitely no pun intended!) a guy with it.

tallaght01

Very true, sam. If it's something that's happening regularly, get it checked out. Most of the causes listed above (and I'd add diabetes in there too) can be controled by your doc.

challengemaster

Well tallaght, you may not have a foreskin but you certainly have balls :pac::D:D

Who's awesome? You are!

(yes, this means I won't be posting >_> <_< )

JC 2K3

I never understood what the big deal was.

Presuming no amount of foreplay will give you an erection, all that this means is you won't get to have penetrative sex that night - SHOCK HORROR!!

I know of a guy who thought he was gay and spoke to his dad about it when it happened to him.

Is macho bullshít really so prevalent that guys think they're lesser men or whatever if they can't get it up sometimes?

It saddens me that my gender contains so many who buy into this crap.

tallaght01

JC 2K3 wrote: »

I never understood what the big deal was.

Presuming no amount of foreplay will give you an erection, all that this means is you won't get to have penetrative sex that night - SHOCK HORROR!!

I know of a guy who thought he was gay and spoke to his dad about it when it happened to him.

Is macho bullshít really so prevalent that guys think they're lesser men or whatever if they can't get it up sometimes?

It saddens me that my gender contains so many who buy into this crap.

The above is pretty easy to say, I guess.

ChewChew

sam34 wrote: »

as a female, i have been on the receiving end (or should that be the non-receiving end?:D) of this a few times.

Sooo true!

But, the other side of being the female on the receiving end of this blunder is the question ''oh crap. He has just seen me nekkid for the first time and now he cant get it up. morto. he must not be into me. ah crap'' so it can be an issue for both which is mad because the individuals involved probably would not speak about it, and just ignore it! Gah! Dam you boys and yore broken knobs! :P

Dr Galen

and this is why women posting here is a good thing. nice to get a girls point of view. thats the morto part for most men.

"she must think I'm a right sap"
"she's gonna tell all her mates now and next time they see me they'll know and they'll be thinking about my useless knob"
"she's laughing on the inside..........bitch"
"crap......she gonna think I don't fancy her, whats wrong with you man, look how hot she is. Pull yourself together. Oh no......more pressure"

when as you put it well CHewChew, the girl can be as self consious, if not more about it.

Odysseus

A very common experience in my opinion and one that can have a significant psychological impact on people. I see a lot of this in my work, often stress related or due to the effects of various drugs. The old Macbeth line "it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance".

Its happened to me a couple of times during my life, and to be honest I have being luckly enough not to allow it to have a big impact on me. To to fair it would have effected me on the night, but I have seen it become a bit of a sel-fulfilling prophesy for some people, meaning that they get so anxious about it happening on one occassion, that it becomes a big issue on further occassions.

Its sad to see someone who feels less of a man because this happens, because I would be guessing here, however, I would guess that everyman will experience this at some stage in their life. Even if its just alcohol related, I think there is such a stigma associated with it, that people are afraid to acknowledge it.

LimeFruitGum

Mystik Monkey wrote: »

and this is why women posting here is a good thing. nice to get a girls point of view. thats the morto part for most men.

when as you put it well CHewChew, the girl can be as self consious, if not more about it.

exactly - I'd automatically think it must be my fault and then panic that he thinks I'm not sexy enough or whatever to make love to.

If it doesn't happen, just have a kiss and cuddle, go for a nap and try again later.

ChewChew

Mystik Monkey wrote: »

and this is why women posting here is a good thing. nice to get a girls point of view. thats the morto part for most men.

"she must think I'm a right sap"
"she's gonna tell all her mates now and next time they see me they'll know and they'll be thinking about my useless knob"
"she's laughing on the inside..........bitch"
"crap......she gonna think I don't fancy her, whats wrong with you man, look how hot she is. Pull yourself together. Oh no......more pressure"

when as you put it well CHewChew, the girl can be as self consious, if not more about it.

Totally agree.

So when it comes to it, both partis are probably thinking the same thing! When realistically, it could possibly be all down to the nerves of it being their first time. But I would say girls would be worse about it because as lovely as we are we look.FAR.TOO.DEEP.INTO.THINGS.we really do.

sam34

Mystik Monkey wrote: »

and this is why women posting here is a good thing. nice to get a girls point of view. thats the morto part for most men.

"she must think I'm a right sap"
"she's gonna tell all her mates now and next time they see me they'll know and they'll be thinking about my useless knob"
"she's laughing on the inside..........bitch"
"crap......she gonna think I don't fancy her, whats wrong with you man, look how hot she is. Pull yourself together. Oh no......more pressure"

when as you put it well CHewChew, the girl can be as self consious, if not more about it.

in my experience, and even knowing the objective stuff that i know, if it happens there is always a niggling bit of me that always thinks "he doesnt fancy me enough". i certainly wouldnt be telling my mates about it!

the best option would be for both to acknowledge it and talk about it,but that doesnt always happen.

ChewChew

sam34 wrote: »

in my experience, and even knowing the objective stuff that i know, if it happens there is always a niggling bit of me that always thinks "he doesnt fancy me enough". i certainly wouldnt be telling my mates about it!

the best option would be for both to acknowledge it and talk about it,but that doesnt always happen.

We always tell our mates too that yeah we had a great night :eek:

JC 2K3

tallaght01 wrote: »

The above is pretty easy to say, I guess.

What do you mean by that?

It's normal - as you said, every guy will probably experience it. I don't understand why the reaction is one of mortification or why guys seem to think it happens to no one else (2 seconds of googling will prove this hypothesis firmly wrong), why not just shrug it off and engage in oral sex or some other activity?

tallaght01

IN my opinion, that's pretty short sighted. It's ok if it happens with a long term trusted partner. But guys worry about this kind of thing leaking out, which is fair enough. We all know what people can be like if they find out something personal and vaguely amusing about someone else.

It can also affect non penetrative sexual acts, too. It's not accurate to say that you can just get a blowjob instead.
Then there's the worry about whether it's going to happen again.

You can talk about reassurance on google. But google will also tell you lots about the medical conditions that cause stiffy failure. You're also assuming people just run to google with issues like that. I have close friends who don't use the net at all, or just have it in work. The world outside boards is quite diverse.

But at the end of the day it does worry people. And it's just not helpful to tell them to wise up.

Just like when your sister breaks up with her boyfriend, and she's upset even though you all knew he was a tool. You give her sympathy. You don't just brush it aside.

Because something doesn't seem rational to us means nothing. In the middle of an embarrassing experience, when you're worried about what the girl is thinking, and worrying about what people will say if it gets out (not to mention stressing because you think your dick is broken!) you may not be thinking rationally.

But, regardless of what we think of the problem, at least we're discussing it

tallaght01

sam34 wrote: »

as a female, i have been on the receiving end (or should that be the non-receiving end?:D) of this a few times.

.

ChewChew wrote: »

Sooo true!

But, the other side of being the female on the receiving end of this blunder is the question ''oh crap. He has just seen me nekkid for the first time and now he cant get it up. morto. he must not be into me. ah crap'' so it can be an issue for both which is mad because the individuals involved probably would not speak about it, and just ignore it! Gah! Dam you boys and yore broken knobs! :P

LimeFruitGum wrote: »

exactly - I'd automatically think it must be my fault and then panic that he thinks I'm not sexy enough or whatever to make love to.

sam34 wrote: »

in my experience, and even knowing the objective stuff that i know, if it happens there is always a niggling bit of me that always thinks "he doesnt fancy me enough". i certainly wouldnt be telling my mates about it!

.

ChewChew wrote: »

We always tell our mates too that yeah we had a great night :eek:

I think the above posts are really helpful, if anyone in the situation were to read this. Most guys, particularly when they're young, assume the girl is going to go away and laugh to their mates about the whole thing. The above is a good example of how that's not the case.

Fair play, burdz :P

sam34

tallaght01 wrote: »

I think the above posts are really helpful, if anyone in the situation were to read this. Most guys, particularly when they're young, assume the girl is going to go away and laugh to their mates about the whole thing. The above is a good example of how that's not the case.

Fair play, burdz :P

no way would i ever tell my mates about this happening me!
it's happened me on more than one occasion, and ive never breathed a word.

probably because of the niggling bit of me that thinks it's my fault

ChewChew

sam34 wrote: »

no way would i ever tell my mates about this happening me!
it's happened me on more than one occasion, and ive never breathed a word.

probably because of the niggling bit of me that thinks it's my fault

+1

Nah, whats the point in going and telling people about it? It's one of those situations and when it does happen you just want to forget about. I can understand guys thinking that though and I'm sure guys do actually think we go laughin to our mates. but we really dont. or at least MOST of us dont.

Snowie

happened to me once, with a gf over a about 2 weeks.....

norrie rugger

I am lucky in that this has never happened to me but I don't think tha tI would let it get to me TBH. Old and wise enough to know the permutations, at this stage.
If it happened when I was younger, I think I would have been like tallaght01
Remember though lads, it is more common as you get older and if Pele can admit it and get treatment, then you should to.



Wait, I think that it did once. Girl put her hand down my pants in a disco hall and nothing happened. Bugger that, I had all my friends (Guys and Girls) watching and just wanted to go outside for some private hand shandy and not sitting in the corner of the hall!!

J.S. Pill

ChewChew wrote: »

Sooo true!

But, the other side of being the female on the receiving end of this blunder is the question ''oh crap. He has just seen me nekkid for the first time and now he cant get it up. morto. he must not be into me. ...

Happened to me last night with a girl I'd been seeing for a while. The girl went f**king balistic, started whining that I musn't be in to her etc etc etc. we were both totally hammered.

She was very apologetic this morning but I'm seriously considering giving her the boot over her less than graceful reaction.

ChewChew

J.S. Pill wrote: »

Happened to me last night with a girl I'd been seeing for a while. The girl went f**king balistic, started whining that I musn't be in to her etc etc etc. we were both totally hammered.

She was very apologetic this morning but I'm seriously considering giving her the boot over her less than graceful reaction.

We considering you were both drunk, why not speak to her when she is sober? tbh, lets all face it. Girls get a little frisky with drink on them just like guys do. Maybe she totally over reacted a bit. She didn't get what she wanted speak to her and see what she really thinks now that you both have had time to think about it.

giddybootz

Yeah this happened with a bloke I was seeing before when we had been out boozin for hours. I totally understood and what made it grand was that he reassured me that he thought I was hot and kissed and cuddled me before we went asleep. In the morning....well that was a differant story

As a girl you defo do get a moment of 'oh no he thinks I'm hideous' but it's just a silly insecurity...us wimmins will find any excuse to be critical of ourselves!!

I think it happens and its just one of those things....sometimes the mind is willing but the body is weak!

Don't panic...we never tell!

tallaght01

I think the female perspective is the best, and most reassuring, thing to come out of this thread!

minidazzler

Tallaght, Thank you for your story, it is quite literally the EXACT same experience as I had back in December last year!!!! And I mean down to the girls name being Louise and everything!!!

I can't believe how exactly like my own it is really, saying similar things as well like, "It'll be up in a minute" No foreplay. It is my story!!!

Except it happened me a second time with the same girl, she had me too nervous and I was too inexperienced!!!

tallaght01

minidazzler wrote: »

it is quite literally the EXACT same experience as I had back in December last year!!!! And I mean down to the girls name being Louise and everything!!!

So, you're saying you were shagging my bird?? :mad:




:P

Otis Driftwood

Something like this happened to me a few months ago actually.I had been seeing a girl for a few weeks and we arranged that I would head to hers and we would spend the weekend together.Obviously sex was on the agenda as we hadnt slept together up to that point.We spent a lovely day together,went for dinner,few drinks,all very rosemantic and went back to hers.That night,everything went swimmingly and an enjoyable night was had by both.
The problem cropped up the next morning.Lying in bed teasing and tickling eachother (ya know how it is,early morning semi hung over horniness) things started to get hot and heavy.Just as I was putting the condom on,the unthinkable happened.Himself pulled a disappearing act.
Hmmm.Whats going on here.She was very good about it and tried her best to get things moving again but to no avail.
After about 10 minutes with my embarassment now at super-nova levels I said leave it and we can try again later.So we are lying there,her in my arms and I had probably the biggest facepalm moment of my life.

Her : Ah dont worry,we had a long night last night so you are probably just tired or something.
Me : Aye,you are probably right.Im just a bit surprised because it never happened with any other woman.
Her : (10 second delay) Thanks a fookin lot.
Me : (10 second delay) Bollocks.

All ended well however as we slept for a couple of hours and thankfully there were no problems after that and everything went off without a hitch.

I can laugh about it now but at the time I just wanted the ground to swallow me up because I had never had it happen to me before so inside I was reeling.

It does happen and its nice to get the ladies thoughts on this too as it is not a pleasent experience at all.

Kudos to ye for being so understanding!

tallaght01

nedtheshed wrote: »

Me : Aye,you are probably right.Im just a bit surprised because it never happened with any other woman.
Her : (10 second delay) Thanks a fookin lot.
Me : (10 second delay) Bollocks.

:pac::pac: brilliant :pac:

Wibbs

Yep it's happened to me a few times in the past. Brewers droop, not so much funny enough. Usually nerves or tiredness(though if I'm completely knackered I could cut glass).

Condoms defo make it worse for me, but not wearing same with someone who isn't my long term partner would make me far more nervous, so no win situation.:) I think condoms kill it for me because they interrupt the process and then point a big latex finger at mr happy, shouting "You're ready to go and have sex!!".

Yes you can do other things, but there is a part of the male psyche that says, you have to have "proper" sex or you're not doing enough for her. And a lot of women are the same in my experience, especially if that revs their engine. Plus the more you do other stuff the bigger the elephant in the room can get. Though that's a bad comparison....;):D

Different responses from women. Mostly cool I have to say, though I suspect a lot of them like the ladies hereabouts wrote assumed it was their fault. It most certainly wasn't.

I agree 100% with tallaght01 and sam34 re going to your doctor if it's happening consistently. I knew a guy who was a very fit man(runner, triathalons etc) and he started to lose his erections. Unusually enough for guys he went to his GP and got checked out. Serious heart probs that luckily got caught in time and he's fine last time I checked. I suppose it stands to reason. Any vascular problems are likely to show there, same with nerve damage or hormonal issues. The willy is a good indicator of male emotional, mental and physical health I reckon. Another reason, if any were needed to love it.:)

Otis Driftwood

Wibbs wrote: »

though I suspect a lot of them like the ladies hereabouts wrote assumed it was their fault. It most certainly wasn't.

+1,000,000

ChewChew

Wibbs wrote: »

Different responses from women. Mostly cool I have to say, though I suspect a lot of them like the ladies hereabouts wrote assumed it was their fault. It most certainly wasn't.

That's true. It's an automatic assumption that it is our fault. But deep down most of us know that these things just happen! But in saying that there always the bit at the back of her head saying ''well what if'' so it leads us to getting equally as embarrassed as you guys do!

smashey

tallaght01 wrote: »

So, you're saying you were shagging my bird?? :mad:




:P

I think he was saying he wasn't.

Great thread tallaght and some great responses here as well. Kudos to you all.

Will

It's happened yeah. Was going out with a canadian girl few years back, were seeing each other for a good while, usually everything went swimmingly. I think way too much about stuff in general, anyway at the time was stressing over exams, money and heading home to ireland amongst a plethora of other things.

Invited her over, watching a dvd, things were progressing and then lil will decided he didn't wanna play. Was actually shocked, sat there lookin down at it and doing a wtf face. We just called it a night and didn't really talk about it after, which i think we shoulda.

Couldn't really sleep that night worrying, thinking about what happened. Was worried about my girlfriend too and what she may be thinking. The next day we were at it again, was so damn nervous of her coming over and lil will not performing again. Figured the best approach was to just blank my mind and not think about it. Did the best I could, everything worked though so happy times.

Just gotta realise that it is probably going to happen to you at some point in your life. Not a huge deal, jus try go with the flow.

Wibbs

sam34 wrote: »

another problem that sometimes arises (no pun intended) with drink is when theres no issue getting a hard-on but he has difficulty finishing off, basically.

Oh I've had that one too and not just with drink. went through a phase of it. Everything was working fine, felt good, but forget about finishing. You could have attached my bum to a steam hammer and nada. Very frustrating. Nearly as bad as the droop. I learned how to fake funny enough. Then it went away. No real reason I could see just back to normal. Weird.

Dimitri

Tallaght01 thats a magnificent post thankfully hasn't happened me yet but now i'm pretty confident it will next time i get me some! I have lost it momentarily if i'm having a struggle with the condom but luckily i managed to blank the mind on the occasions and get it back before being questioned. As for the not finishing happens regularly if i'm after one too many but i too have learned to fake though i'm not sure how convincing i am and obviosly its not something ya can get feedback on.

shellyboo

Why did you fake it guys? Genuinely curious! Having not slept with any women myself, I only know what my own reaction would be (and has been in the past)... And that's just to ask if there's something I can do to get the guy there, and if not, a reassuring kiss and a cuddle.

Would girls be annoyed or upset?? I'd find it odd if they were.

Wibbs

You fake probably for the same reason some women do. It's easier and you don't have to get into any explanations. Plus some women can get upset or even peed off in that situation. The whole "am I not enough for you" just like with a floppy event.

shellyboo

Wibbs wrote: »

Plus some women can get upset or even peed off in that situation. The whole "am I not enough for you" just like with a floppy event.

Blerg. How stupid.

EDIT: That reaction, I mean, not the faking

CDfm

Well it could be performence anxiety or just down to the fact you dont find the person attractive or want to be with someone else.So I can get a woman being upset.

I think its a myth that we like that guys will nail whatever moves. For me Ive always needed an emotional connection or it would be the Viagra Shop:D.

shellyboo

Yeah, but without the emotional connection, you'd hardly be getting as far as nekkidness? I mean, whatever criteria you judge your sexual partners by - at that moment of penetration or non-climax or whatever, you're hardly likely to suddenly realise "oh, I don't fancy this girl". That decision would have been made earlier in the proceedings?

I just feel bad for guys, there's so much pressure to perform. At least if you're a woman there's lube and lying back and thinking of England :P

petes

I've faked it with my then girlfriend. We were out earlier so there was a few beers taking on board. No problem getting it up but finishing was a no no. Faked it. Only thing was I was still rock hard after it so she knew something was 'up'. Condom in bin beside bed as dry as the sahara. Stung. Told her I didn't want to to think she couldn't make me cum but she said if I did it again we wouldn't be going out again.

Never did though but not with her anymore.

Best thing to do if you can't finish, tell her. I've learned from that.

CDfm

shellyboo wrote: »

I just feel bad for guys, there's so much pressure to perform. At least if you're a woman there's lube and lying back and thinking of England :P

Is England such a turn on for you. I wouldnt like to be in your house when Corrie Omnibus is on.:P

Isnt there such a thing as Coitus Regretis???

Seriously folks its not a race and why all the hurry. Lots of guys worry about control and technique and lots of women want more than a quick shag.

shellyboo

CDfm wrote: »

Is England such a turn on for you. I wouldnt like to be in your house when Corrie Omnibus is on.:P

Isnt there such a thing as Coitus Regretis???

Seriously folks its not a race and why all the hurry. Lots of guys worry about control and technique and lots of women want more than a quick shag.

I'm more of an Eastenders fan, actually... I do have a thing for English guys though!

I agree though, it's a marathon, not a sprint

Red Sleeping Beauty

tallaght01 wrote: »

So, here we are with the shiny new men's health forum. Trying to get guys to discuss their health in an open and frank way.

We've talked about balls, pus, crabs and HIV. But one thing men suffer from a LOT, and really struggle to talk openly about is something that happens to nearly every bloke at some point in their life....the inability to get a stalker.

So, I figured I should get the ball rolling here. I'm going to relate my one (and so far only) episode of "non bonerism" (known as impotence, or erectile dysfunction to people far more eloquent than me).

I'm hoping people will post their experiences as well (remember unregistered posting is allowed). The reason I wanted to do this was because one of the commonest things you hear guys talking about when they have this problem is how they feel like it's happening to no-one else. When in reality it's probably happened to half their mates. But they just haven't told them.

So, cast your mind back to 1995. The Tallaght wilderness. A youthful and inexperienced Tallaght01 is wooing a fair young lady, with a combination of his wry charm, good lucks, and some strong liqueur.

Louise was a stunner, and had let me slide a hand up her blouse the previous time we met. She'd told me today was going to be the day that the Barry White CD was getting busted out of it's shiny wrapper, and some smooth hollywood style move-busting was gonna happen in the bedroom.

I'd thought about it since then. I hope I'm as good at this as that other bloke who nailed her last summer in Santa Ponsa. But tales of his enormous phallus, and co-ordinated nipple tweaking/ear licking had me feeling worried and inadequate.

I was quite nervous at the time, but didn't show it. In reality, I should have been more nervous, as I had no idea about how bad I would actually be at this kind of thing.

Her folks were up in B+Q sorting out a new plastic patio, ......

Nice story but there wasn't a B&Q in Tallaght in 1995!

Wibbs

shellyboo wrote: »

Yeah, but without the emotional connection, you'd hardly be getting as far as nekkidness? I mean, whatever criteria you judge your sexual partners by - at that moment of penetration or non-climax or whatever, you're hardly likely to suddenly realise "oh, I don't fancy this girl". That decision would have been made earlier in the proceedings?

Funny that has happened to me. I found them attractive, maybe had a few ales on board, but when we got down to it, the flesh wasn't willing.

Or my subconscious/gut instinct kicked in and called down to willy and said "back off there lad, bad plan". Not always a bad plan either, just this won't work for either of us kinda thing. I have to say looking back on the times when the floppyman visited(or when I couldn't finish) and it wasn't me being knackered or out of sorts emotionally, my Bad choice Willy detector tm worked and was dead right. Not something you say in company mind. My gut told me no = OK. My willy told me no = not so good.:)

CDfm

Alan Rouge wrote: »

Nice story but there wasn't a B&Q in Tallaght in 1995!

That makes sense, the parents took off to Liffey Valley which is why Tallaght01 was so brave.

EDIT I was wrong

2002 B&Q opened its first store in the Republic of Ireland

tallaght01

Alan Rouge wrote: »

Nice story but there wasn't a B&Q in Tallaght in 1995!

I may have taken some trading name liberties, to compensate for my early onset alzheimers :P They may not have even being buying patio furniture either!

turgon

I hadn't had sex for about 10 months, and due to a car accident myself and the girl at the time were involved in we hadn't had it at all in the 3 months we knew one another. So one day she suggested it and I went into the press to dig amongst the cobwebs for some protection. By the time I got back my boner had gone. It was a combination of nervousness and not being in tip top shape I'd say. It had never happened before.

The girl took it pretty bad, which didn't help. So a few days later when we were trying again, all I could think of is "GET A BONER!!!!" and what with the anxiousness I failed yet again. This time the girl started crying and everything, what a mess. But we ended up doing it later that day (picture yours truly lying on his bed with condom in hand waiting for the erection to come so as to swiftly begin, thoughts of foreplay long forgotten!).

For the next month or so, as long as was with her, it was always an issue with me. I was always worried I couldn't get one in the foreplay stage, and sometimes half way through sex it would "fade." When we were getting heated up and she said we couldn't due it due to her period, I was nearly glad.

There was no one who I could talk with. I mentioned it to my buddy, but he found it more funny than anything else. I'm friends with a group who are disproportionately inexperience with these things. So it was a case of just trying to forget it.

The comparison part is this: about 7 weeks after my last anxious rendezvous I was with another girl and there was not one problem at all. I was still half thinking "please get it up" but it didn't effect me and everything went off without a hitch (twice!). Ive been with that girl since and non-boner problem only happened once. But because we were so comfortable it wasn't at all a problem: I just said "cant get a bonor" and she didnt really care or take issue and we just waited an hour or so I think. So perhaps a lot of it is just about feeling comfortable.

Sorry if tl'dr etc

congo_90

I'll spare a lot of details more to save typing on a tired mind..
Many a moon ago with no drink in me and with an ex, Plenty of fooling around etc but just as I go to make the move... gone. There I was with her underneath giving me the "I really want you" eyes and me with a droopy bit dangling uselessly.
Naturally like most men this moment was very stressful and any attempts to save the moment ended up ruining it. Without a doubt an arguement broke out from my own shame of feeling inadequate etc..

The flip side was it led to some damn good make up sex and then some more later on just to make up for previous
Since then it only happened once or twice without drink but god forbid a pint and try pulling.