Useful Tips

Pace2008

Lets get a positive thread going on AH.

Share your useful tips, however insignificant they may seem, that might make life that bit easier for the rest of us.

I'll start: when browsing the intertube with Firefox, click an a link with the scroll wheel to open it in a new window.

Your turn.

My name is URL

Move away from the mic to breathe

fillmore jive

No sex in the champagne room.

Long Onion

prevent eggs from rolling off kitchen worktops by placing them in a bowl or similar recpticle

banquo

Use Google Chrome. If you're not mad into extensions then it's a lovely, fast and very pretty browser.

Fink Goddie

Never eat yellow snow

brummytom

Delete Internet history if letting someone else use your computer

Quazzie

Pace2008 wrote: »

I'll start: when browsing the intertube with Firefox, click an a link with the scroll wheel to open it in a new window.

Holy Crap I never knew that.

Pace2008 wrote: »

Your turn.

Eh... always wipe from the bottom up...

Hagar

A person choking on an ice cube can be saved by pouring a kettle of boiling water down their throat.

az2wp0sye65487

Never buy tights for a mermaid

--Kaiser--

Don't p**s into the wind

javaboy

Swing away.

Saint_Mel

Whilst in bed protect yourself from vampires and werewolves by hiding under the covers.

Fink Goddie

Never post porn on the weather forum

Professey Chin

banquo wrote: »

Use Google Chrome. If you're not mad into extensions then it's a lovely, fast and very pretty browser.

If it gets greasemonkey im in

Always carry condom(s)
Rather have and not need then need and not have

brummytom

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Never post porn on the weather forum

Never let your mates use your boards account

whadabouchasir

Never lock your keys out of the car.

Indie18

Never use soap as a lubricant, it stings.

kittenkiller

Always use someone else's toothbrush to do the grouting in the bathroom/clean the loo.

Splinter

whadabouchasir wrote: »

Never lock your keys out of the car.

and what? lock yourself in?

xzanti

Always put your milk into the fridge.... or failing that, a cool wet sack.

K-9

Only copped to the Firefox tip last week.



Don't juggle chainsaws, especially if they are switched on.

Pighead

Always carry around two empty bottles with you. Whenever anybody asks you to help them with something you can say "Sorry pal, I'm on my way to the bottle bank to drop these empty bottles off. Only for that I would."

WIZE

To Bosses ''When you pay peanuts you get monkeys''

ejmaztec

Always play a trombone in the toilet if there's no lock on the door, so that somebody doesn't walk in on you.

Novella

Don't iron clothes while wearing them.

shenanigans1982

Always smile no matter what...people will think you're crazy and leave you alone.

And always bring something to read into the bathroom.

Smart Bug

Indie18 wrote: »

Never use soap as a lubricant, it stings.

Never use toothpaste as a lubricant, it burns.

Gypo

Do one thing every day that scares you.

gaz wac

Tea gone cold ?? Pop in in the microwave for 2 minutes on "HEAT"

BillyGoatGruff

Don't drink and drive!




You might spill it

Long Onion

Smart Bug wrote: »

Never use toothpaste as a lubricant, it burns.

Avoid stings and burns during intercourse by using lubricant as a lubricant.

View Profile

Bee's do not like to be petted.

Aldebaran

Put a pinch of sage in your boots and all day long a spicy scent is your reward.

missmatty

Don't wear white jeans on day 28.

FlutterinBantam

Do NOT try to trim your cats claws with a nailfile

kwestfan08

A revolver beats four aces every time

JPA

An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator.

Canis Lupus

JPA wrote: »

An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator.

An empty cigar tube with a loose lid, filled with wasps makes a great practical joke to play on your other half.

Blazer

Canis Lupus wrote: »

An empty cigar tube with a loose lid, filled with wasps makes a great practical joke to play on your other half.

Reminds me of the Doctor joke...


"A man and his wife are on a nude beach sunning themselves when a wasp accidentally flies up into the woman’s pussy. The woman screams to her husband what happened, in which he immediately wraps her in a blanket and takes her to a doctor. After examining the woman, the doctor decides that the wasp is too far in to be reached with the forceps, but he has an idea. "Try slathering your penis in honey, then having intercourse with your wife. Maybe that will attract the wasp into coming out far enough to be reached."
The husband decides to try the idea, but because he’s so nervous, he can’t rise to the occasion. The doctor says that if neither of them objects, he will try. Given the severity of the situation, the couple agrees. The doctor immediately strips down, slathers on some honey, and mounts the woman. After several minutes of work, the husband asks the doctor what the hell he thinks he’s doing.

"Change of plans..... I’m gonna drown that little bastard!!!!" "

ejmaztec

For all the lads, put a three piece suite down the front of your trousers to impress the ladies.

Slow Motion

"Mr Rodgers" in the 3:30

silverharp

if someone tries to mug you, tell them that Jesus loves them! , it will totally freak them out and you can make your escape

Poor Uncle Tom

Always use sunscreen.....

CutzEr

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

Always use sunscreen.....

even as lubricant?

Slow Motion

CutzEr wrote: »

even as lubricant?

Should stop the burning!

marcsignal

when you're up to your nose in shit, don't open your mouth :pac:

Ivona Tinkle

If it is yellow let it mellow
If its brown flush it down

PK2008

When you feel sad, stop being sad and be awesome instead

it works

W123-80's

If you have a fairly decent size front or back garden/yard paint a large blue 20ft x 15ft rectangle on it. It will look like you have a swimming pool to all those passing in aeroplanes and helicopters.

Ivona Tinkle

When you pick your nose roll it between your thumb and flick it of your finger , it saves a lot of money buying tissues