There's a fly in my apartment, what should I do?

loloray

Ok so my flatmate is away at the moment. When he left, a fly moved in. At first I didn't mind him, he liked landing on me and I found it interesting that I could feel him walk on me even through my clothes. He was good, unobtrusive company.

However this is the third day now. I am wearing less clothes and the fly keeps on landing me. He is getting worse and worse and more familiar. He walks on my back and makes buzzy noises more often. He lands on me more than any other thing in this room. He tickles me now in a really frustrating way.

What do I do? I never (deliberately) killed a fly before, and I don't want to kill a living thing - but this guy is driving me men-tal!

I used to pride myself on the 'there's no flies on me!' joke. But I can't say that now.

Any advice is welcome. I have tried showering.

My name is URL

Ghostbusters?

Max Power1

Maybe put outa sugary cake? If it was me id kill it though!

axer

Get some soup - apparently they love it.

loloray

axer wrote: »

Get some soup - apparently they love it.

Is that not only in restaurants though?
He is landing on my back as I try to type this. I hate him.

kippy

Make sure you've no sources of radiation in the place.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091064/

Biggins

Stage one: Buy a can of fly spray.
Stage two: Throw the can at the fly.
Stage three: Bin the dead fly.

Problem solved!

pebbles21

Do a Obama on it !http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2335XeYDI

brummytom

Sorry OP, you'll have to move home.

Tar.Aldarion

loloray wrote: »

Is that not only in restaurants though?
He is landing on my back as I try to type this. I hate him.

YOu have to tell him that, or he won't know his love is unrequited.

FreeFallin

Turn off all the lights and leave the front door open for a while..

Then give me your address.

Wazdakka

This seems like a perfectly reasonable thread from somebody who is in no way trying / failing miserably to troll.

I think I shall help this indavidual.

All you need to do is purchace a set of these.
They make catching flies easy and fun.
Then you can release him out of a window at your leisure.

phasers

OP, I threw a chemistry book at a fly that was bothering me. I think it worked out pretty well.

Abi

Spray him with something. When he hits the floor let the post-mortem commence. Pick off his wings and legs one by one. Squish him just enough to let a little juice out, but not enough to kill him completely. I get bored after this.. so you could light a candle and finish him off this way, or you could just flush him down the toilet.

loloray

pebbles21 wrote: »

Do a Obama on it !

I'm sooo not as slick as him.

FreeFallin wrote:

Turn off all the lights

The lights are off. It's daytime over here in Ireland.

FreeFallin wrote:

Then give me your address.

So you can rescue me or rob my apartment? Are you malevolent or benevolent?

ScumLord

Marry it before it dies and you get 3 wishes.

Aldebaran

Simply open a window... and jump out. The apartment is now his.

loloray

phasers wrote: »

OP, I threw a chemistry book at a fly that was bothering me. I think it worked out pretty well.

I don't have a chemistry book and if I order one from Amazon it will take at least until after the weekend till one arrives. Does any chemistry book work or is there a particular one or author that I should look order?

TPD

Get a pet spider.

Biggins

You could send in my mother in law.
She can clear a room in 30 seconds!

phasers

loloray wrote: »

I don't have a chemistry book and if I order one from Amazon it will take at least until after the weekend till one arrives. Does any chemistry book work or is there a particular one or author that I should look order?

Make sure it includes a chapter on the history of the periodic table and you're sorted. Until then, try to reason with the fly. Offer him dinner, maybe watch a DVD together

My name is URL

Mate with it, and over time you'll slowly become lord of the flies

Get one can of hair spray and a lighter, instant flamethrower, shoot it down.

loloray

phasers wrote: »

Offer him dinner, maybe watch a DVD together

But I hate him! I try not to eat with things that I hate.

My name is URL wrote:

lord of the flies

Damnit I need a sex change for that though, just my luck would be he'd be Lord of the Flies and then he'd still be walking all over me.

zuroph

I know an old woman who swallowed a fly...
it didnt end well.

phasers

loloray wrote: »

But I hate him! I try not to eat with things that I hate.

I know, I know. But you can lull him into a false sense of security, invite him to the cinema then lock him out when he goes to get into the taxi.

loloray

phasers wrote: »

I know, I know. But you can lull him into a false sense of security, invite him to the cinema then lock him out when he goes to get into the taxi.

Ok I'm gonna try that now.

Abi

Deleted User wrote: »

Get one can of hair spray and a lighter, instant flamethrower, shoot it down.

I like that :pac:


Never a damn fly around when you need one.

Kernel

Whatever you do, don't use the teleporter.

rotinaj

Throw your laptop/desktop/moblie or what ever it is that you are using to post here. Then everyone will be a winner. Fly will be dead and we wont need to look at stupid threads again.

phasers

loloray wrote: »

Ok I'm gonna try that now.

Good luck! Remember, you have to build up his trust because he probably knows that you hate him by now

loloray

Abigayle wrote: »

Never a damn fly around when you need one.

Abigayle. You sound evil. Would you like to visit me this evening?
On the menu is some nice French wine, Indian vegetarian homemade food and homemade chocolate ice-cream.

phasers

loloray wrote: »

On the menu is some nice French wine, Indian vegetarian homemade food and homemade chocolate ice-cream.

Be careful with the international fare, flies are renowned xenophobics

brummytom

There's a fly in my apartment, what should I do?

"Gonna fix that fly, that's what I'm gonna do.. gonna fix that fly"



No one will understand that will they?

Spiritoftheseventies

loloray wrote: »

Ok so my flatmate is away at the moment. When he left, a fly moved in. At first I didn't mind him, he liked landing on me and I found it interesting that I could feel him walk on me even through my clothes. He was good, unobtrusive company.

However this is the third day now. I am wearing less clothes and the fly keeps on landing me. He is getting worse and worse and more familiar. He walks on my back and makes buzzy noises more often. He lands on me more than any other thing in this room. He tickles me now in a really frustrating way.

What do I do? I never (deliberately) killed a fly before, and I don't want to kill a living thing - but this guy is driving me men-tal!

I used to pride myself on the 'there's no flies on me!' joke. But I can't say that now.

Any advice is welcome. I have tried showering.

like that old joke. Guy ushers a waiter and says there a fly in my wine. Waiter replies "Quiet sir, or everyone will want one"

Hagar

No pets allowed, GTFO.

Poor Uncle Tom

If you can't reason with him, do what pebbles said and Obama his ass.

Abi

loloray wrote: »

Abigayle. You sound evil. Would you like to visit me this evening?
On the menu is some nice French wine, Indian vegetarian homemade food and homemade chocolate ice-cream.

Thanks for the invite, 'fraid I'm gonna have to let you down though. Let me know when you liver, fava beans, and a nice chianti on the go, then I'm all yours

Novella

Poor lil guy, he's only trying to keep you company.

Biggins

Give UB40 a ring and ask them what did they do when they last found vermin in their kitchen!
Just don't make a song and dance about it though!

Spiritoftheseventies

loloray wrote: »

Ok so my flatmate is away at the moment. When he left, a fly moved in. At first I didn't mind him, he liked landing on me and I found it interesting that I could feel him walk on me even through my clothes. He was good, unobtrusive company.

However this is the third day now. I am wearing less clothes and the fly keeps on landing me. He is getting worse and worse and more familiar. He walks on my back and makes buzzy noises more often. He lands on me more than any other thing in this room. He tickles me now in a really frustrating way.

What do I do? I never (deliberately) killed a fly before, and I don't want to kill a living thing - but this guy is driving me men-tal!

I used to pride myself on the 'there's no flies on me!' joke. But I can't say that now.

Any advice is welcome. I have tried showering.

Bet your sorry you asked!

dsmythy

At least you don't have a rat in your kitchen.

Ivona Tinkle

Shoe fly dont bother me
Shoe fly dont bother me
shoe fly dont bother me
I dont want your company

PeakOutput

loloray wrote: »

Ok so my flatmate is away at the moment. When he left, a fly moved in. At first I didn't mind him, he liked landing on me and I found it interesting that I could feel him walk on me even through my clothes. He was good, unobtrusive company.

However this is the third day now. I am wearing less clothes and the fly keeps on landing me. He is getting worse and worse and more familiar. He walks on my back and makes buzzy noises more often. He lands on me more than any other thing in this room. He tickles me now in a really frustrating way.

What do I do? I never (deliberately) killed a fly before, and I don't want to kill a living thing - but this guy is driving me men-tal!

I used to pride myself on the 'there's no flies on me!' joke. But I can't say that now.

Any advice is welcome. I have tried showering.

toughen up buttercup and grab a cup and catch him and put him outside

alternatively squash him its not like it has a soul or anything

sounds-right

this is a battle of wits
Maybe he's on his little pc as we speak discussing on a little fly version of boards how to get rid of you without killing you....... the waiting game begins

Latchy

Miley Cirus song '' fly on the wall '' will be in my head all evening ,,,you do know this OP ......

Banter Joe

loloray wrote: »

Ok so my flatmate is away at the moment. When he left, a fly moved in. At first I didn't mind him, he liked landing on me and I found it interesting that I could feel him walk on me even through my clothes. He was good, unobtrusive company.

However this is the third day now. I am wearing less clothes and the fly keeps on landing me. He is getting worse and worse and more familiar. He walks on my back and makes buzzy noises more often. He lands on me more than any other thing in this room. He tickles me now in a really frustrating way.

What do I do? I never (deliberately) killed a fly before, and I don't want to kill a living thing - but this guy is driving me men-tal!

I used to pride myself on the 'there's no flies on me!' joke. But I can't say that now.

Any advice is welcome. I have tried showering.

Flys generally only live from one to three days.

Give it a few hours.

Abi

Banter Joe wrote: »

Flys generally only live from one to three days.

Give it a few hours.

Wiki wrote:

The housefly (also house fly, house-fly or common housefly), Musca domestica, is the most common of all flies flying in homes, and indeed one of the most widely distributed insects; it is often considered a pest that can carry serious diseases.

In colder climates, houseflies survive only with humans. They have a tendency to aggregate and are difficult to dispel. They are capable of carrying over 100 pathogens, such as typhoid, cholera, Salmonella, bacillary dysentery, tuberculosis, anthrax, ophthalmia, and parasitic worms. The flies in poorer and lower-hygienic areas usually carry more pathogens. Some strains have become immune to most common insecticides.

House flies feed on liquid or semi-liquid substances beside solid material which has been softened by saliva or vomit. Because of their high intake of food, they deposit feces constantly, one of the factors that makes the insect a dangerous carrier of pathogens. Although they are domestic flies, usually confined to the human habitations, they can fly for several miles from the breeding place. They are active only in daytime and rest at night e.g. at the corners of rooms, ceiling hangings, etc.

Housefly as a vector of disease

Mechanical transmission of organisms on its hairs, mouthparts, vomitus and feces:
parasitic diseases: Cysts of protozoa e.g. Entamoeba histolytica, Giardia lamblia and eggs of helminths e.g.:Ascaris lumbricoides, Trichuros trichura, Haemenolypes nana, Enterobius vermicularis.
bacterial diseases: Typhoid, cholera, dysentery, pyogenic cocci...etc. House flies have been demonstrated to be vectors of Campylobacter and E. coli O157:H7 using PCR [6]. House flies can be monitored for bacterial pathogens using filter paper spot cards and PCR [7]
Viruses: Enteroviruses: Poliomyelitis, infective hepatitis (A & E)..etc

Torture ftw.

Latchy

In order for A Fly to digest the food it's just landed on, it has to crap on it to soften it up , hence all that mooonwalking all over the food .....

Spiritoftheseventies

Latchy wrote: »

In order for A Fly to digest the food it's just landed on, it has to crap on it to soften it up , hence all that mooonwalking all over the food .....

Way to kill a funny thread. get the message!

Bob Z

Just ignore him. I know this will be hard for you for to do but eventuall he'll get the message