What makes you fulfilled?

Novella

Dragan wrote: »

I think "fulfillment" is being able to look at a decent period of time and realise that it was filled with many moments of Happiness.

+1

Latchy

Ginny wrote: »

You'd think, wouldn't you? But right now everyone i know and her sisters are pregnant..:D

Women, so selfish at times ....:D

Honestly the most time its spending time with kids (be it my niece, godson or Alex)
My mother used to mind her as baby and she's now 5 and she's like a little sister to me and never fails to be a source of amusement and I get great craic at seeing her outlook on life

On my flexi days I also catch up with my nan and aunties
Spending time with my mates and going on nights out is something I try to do once a week at least
I try to get some quality time with the OH also (can't be leaving him out:D)
with work, studying, housework and spending time on me I am pretty busy

I have my weekly/monthly goals/crap I want to get done and if I ever find myself without something to do I just refer to it

Quality

For me personally, I like having things to look forward to... So when life feels dull and I have nothing exciting planned, I usually book myself a holiday...


I wouldnt say it fulfills me, but it gives me something to plan for!!!

Red Hand

Dragan wrote: »

fulfillment - a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires

Sounds interesting, but the clue is in the second word "feeling". Feelings change. You do one thing that brings you that feeling, then you think of something else that you haven't done and the feeling dimishes as one goal is replaced with another.

As an example, last week i had a photo shoot. I went and did it and the photos were very nice. I felt fulfilled. Then I got home and the real work began, i had to take those images from straight photos into something more. I did one up and i was happy with it. I once again felt fulfilled. The follow day I woke up with another goal, to write a song from start to finish. I did this too and once again i felt happy with my work...until today went i woke up with a different goal.

When seeking any emotion, it is important to remember that emotions can be fleeting. There will always be something there.

I would hate it if i could so something and feel endlessly "happy". For me, there is nothing like taking a really nice photo, producing a solid piece of art, writing a good song etc etc etc...i like the little 5cc's of Happiness that comes with each little goal acheived.

I think "fulfillment" is being able to look at a decent period of time and realise that it was filled with many moments of Happiness.

I like your descriptions, but even still, do you ever think your feelings of fulfillment when achieving the goals you describe above, are in themselves diminished a little when you know that all you are doing is chasing some hormone release? Or that you feel that the goals are a bit pointless in themselves? (I'm projecting, as you may guess:pac:)

"Here I am hiking/doing a photoshoot/playing soccor/(whatever hobby), and I'm happy cause I've set myself a goal and am achieving it. Mr Brain/Gland is releasing hormones now as a treat for achieving the goal I've set myself. Tomorrow I will set myself another goal for an appropriate and timely glandular release. If I do not get my glandular release, then what is the point? If I do get my glandular release treat, then equally....what is the point?":pac:

Don't know where I'm going with this post, but to paraphrase Mrs Doyle from Father Ted:

Mrs Doyle-"Football! Football! Football! What you men see in it, I don't know! A load of men kicking a bit of leather around a field! Tscha! I don't know... you men. The things you think are great fun! Like going to the films. A load of men sitting around looking at films. And rollercoasters! A load of men in a big rollercoaster going up and down on a metal track. And fishing! A load of men fishing! And sailing! A load of men in a boat, floating about in the water! And shouting! A load of men going around shouting! ":pac:

To put that quote into practise, this eveing I went for a walk around a large lake, and saw some members of Homo Sapiens engaging in a non survival related goal orientated activity. They proceeded to drive up to a slip ramp, unload their canoes, boarded the said canoes on the lake, push off and then over a period of two hours paddled across the lake and then circled close to the water's edge, where they chatted for a bit. Then the canoes were removed from the water, put back on top of the cars, and they drove off, goal accomplished and hormones released. Tired no doubt and ready for the leaba.

Whereas I kept track of their progress by first walking around the lake, and then climbing through a nearby forest to the top of the hill where I spied their departure. Goal accomplished and hormones released, I hiked back to my car and I too departed.:pac:

How do you accomplish something without remembering that it's ultimately pointless? Is it just the body/mind's way of burning off excess mental/physical energy so that you will be sharp enough to catch food again in the future and will reproduce? If one reproduces, then the pointless hormone chasing continues....and worse, you are aware of it.:pac:

Plug-me-in

I think for the moment, I do feel fulfilled. But like the Duchess said, feelings change, give me a few months, I might change an opinin, or my course in life might be shaken up, and I could easily feel less so... Plus, I am only 19, what teenager is supposed to feel anything other than a bit of uncertainty and maybe a hangover or two?


But, I do know, that any time I feel like I might be heading in the wrong direction, I think of everything I have going for me. And everyone else has too, life is always worthwhile when LC too.


For me, it's spending hours with my horses, or my dogs, just completely unwinding, away from people, (particularly if others have been catalysts for my down feelings!) this really makes me realise that they give me back the attention ten fold.


I'm also happy with where I am which I'm sure helps, studying medicine, hopefully with a career as a doctor in the future, amazing boyfriend, and family and friends. And a month travelling Europe in August!


It's up to us to make our own life worthwhile, find our own fulfilment!

allabouteve

d'Oracle wrote: »

What is fulfilled?

Different things to different people, I'd think. To some fulfilled is a feeling they get when they have something to look forward to, or an end to a long term project is in sight. To others it might be the culmination of dreaming and planning in terms of their personal life.

It sounds pretty horrible to me.
I am at some existential point where my life has met all my expectations and I am perfectly satisfied with my Job, life, family, relationships etc.

Nonsense.

That is never going to happen anyone. Things might reach a point where you're mostly happy with everything though. Thats close enough.

2 things.

1) Stop looking for fulfillment. Its a convolution of all the images and information thrown in your face everyday by the mass media.
Stop looking for an end to what you are suffering and you are on the way to not suffering from it.

With respect, bull****. ALWAYS look for fulfillment. To strive is to achieve and work towards, don't do that and you're in a rut.

2) Do Stuff. Seriously. Nobody does stuff these days.
Sitting on the internet is not doing stuff, TV is the enemy of stuff.
Going to the Gym can be stuff, but is often not stuff because people do intensly boring routines.

People do stuff. It might not be stuff you hold in high regard, but other people mightn't hold your stuff up as particularly worthwhile either.

Do actual stuff. Find something to do, maybe a group of people who also do it. The posters who complained about their job being boring, Im sorry. Its not a great way to feel. But you can make your time off less boring by doing quality interesting stuff.

Yea, people who are bored need fun hobbies/pastimes. Its not news.

People who sit and say they are fulfilled, aren't.

Not really for you to judge, is it?

They either spend loads of time doing stuff and trying to get stuff done, or improve on previous stuff or they are lying toerags who would feel the same way as you if they had a speck of ambition.

Again, not your call. And a bit harsh.

Should I write a self-help book?

I think the market in faux-homespun wisdom has been cornered by Dr. Phil and Oprah. I wouldn't bother.

Dragan

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

How do you accomplish something without remembering that it's ultimately pointless? Is it just the body/mind's way of burning off excess mental/physical energy so that you will be sharp enough to catch food again in the future and will reproduce? If one reproduces, then the pointless hormone chasing continues....and worse, you are aware of it.:pac:

Well ultimately everything is pointless, on a long enough time line.

This is assuming however your mind is in the future, if your mind is in the NOW, then it's ALL about the hormones.:)

Crumble Froo

ive a few things that help me feel satisfied and fulfilled in life. im not saying i go through every day like a dream, hell no, but there are plenty of times and days that i can just sit back or take a moment and think '****, this is what it's all about'.

i think the first thing i do is surfing... just being in the ocean, nature all around, and the peace and simultaneous rush that come with catching a wave... nothing like it.
quite enjoy skating too, there's just something great about gliding instead of walking :P have recently taken it up and am attempting to learn to do more than just get from a to b on the thing, so it's great fun challenging myself and learning something new while getting exercise -

exercise! fresh air! man, it does wonders for the soul. even just walking, particularly around nature, even if it's just a park/river/stream, it's good to be around nature.

workwise, i dont do a lot of it for starts :P
i work mon-wed, 20hrs a week, in a community clinic that deals specifically with people with hep c. a substantial amount of our clients would not go to another service if we werent there, and that fact, on top of daily interactions and that, makes me proud to be a part of this service and the work i do feels quite worthwhile.

i work with kids now and then too, and there is something great about being around them (most of the time), work is fun.

apart from that, i just follow my hobbies as much as i can - playing an instrument, going to gigs, (ok, i love music) and jamming with freinds and learning/writing songs are all quite therapeutic for me.

i have a great partner, and great friends, but honestly, i don't feel that those alone would be enough for me. i need to indulge in my passions and explore my own abilities and to create, express through them.

d'Oracle

allabouteve wrote: »

Different things to different people, I'd think. To some fulfilled is a feeling they get when they have something to look forward to, or an end to a long term project is in sight. To others it might be the culmination of dreaming and planning in terms of their personal life.
That is never going to happen anyone. Things might reach a point where you're mostly happy with everything though. Thats close enough.

With respect, bull****. ALWAYS look for fulfillment. To strive is to achieve and work towards, don't do that and you're in a rut.
People do stuff. It might not be stuff you hold in high regard, but other people mightn't hold your stuff up as particularly worthwhile either.

I think you need to work on your sense of humour.

But as you took the care and attention to break my semi-serious post into little bits to issue your sternly thought out rebuttal, I should respond.

Firstly, very little in that post is very much not "with respect"

If you can't define something, you can't strive for it.

Onwards, there is a very real problem with people these days regarding the preception of fulfilment. People striving for some undefined end state where they are happy. To this end, many go to school, grow up, have a few relationships, get jobs, start families. Always looking for that point where they have done this and are happy with it. The result for many of these people (some who have posted in this thread) is that they end up working coming home and doing nothing of real value with their spare time, stagnating and wondering why there is no fulfillment.

Its not do do with what I regard, in fact its pretty arrogant of you to suggest so, being that you are assuming you have some level of awareness of where I am coming from that others won't. The message is to people who feel "unfulfilled", that they should do more. Because people do actually do increasing less and less as the years go on. The relentless march of convenience and all that. If that is offensive to you, there is nothing at all that I can say, or would want to.

I have been through some serious stagnation, but fulfilment has never been something I craved. The only thing I could ever reconcile with fulfilment is the satisfaction of optimum output. In sport, in intellectual, playing music etc. When striving to achieve which would be halffillment if anything,

Frankly the grain of truth in the stop looking for an end is that if you focus on the "fulfilment" you cannot ever be happy. If you abandon the aim of to be at some undefined fantasy state and just concentrate on enjoying what you are doing (and doing something that is enjoyable). The journey being the focus, not the end. Or if I prefer, the filling rather than the fulfillment.

Its not me judging at all and its not remotely harsh and if you dont get your back up and think for a bit you might get it. In my opinion people who say they have fulfillment in their lives don't. They are either lying or just keeping busy. Which I suppose could be defined as fulfillment, depending on how you view it, but I wouldnt refer to it as that. Just feeling better.

And I can assure you, Oprah and Dr. Phil do not own the market on Faux-homespun wisdom.
(Thanks for massacring the joke though. Im sure you thought it was really snappy)

neuro-praxis

I think I understand what you're saying d'Oracle. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your point could be summed up as: Live in the now, not in some what might be of the future.

And I agree with you. However I do feel pretty fulfilled with my life. Not because I have achieved everything I want (I haven't), but because I am really enjoying the journey!

d'Oracle

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I think I understand what you're saying d'Oracle. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your point could be summed up as: Live in the now, not in some what might be of the future.

And I agree with you. However I do feel pretty fulfilled with my life. Not because I have achieved everything I want (I haven't), but because I am really enjoying the journey!

Awesome.

I suppose my problem is more with the word than anything.

cuckoo

neuro-praxis wrote: »

And I agree with you. However I do feel pretty fulfilled with my life. Not because I have achieved everything I want (I haven't), but because I am really enjoying the journey!

+1, although sometimes the journey has been a little rocky. The bumps make me appreciate the smooth bits a lot more.

Anyway, away from metaphors! I like to make things, learning new crafts and skills and applying them is something I find very satisfying - even if it's something as simple as the best way to sew on a button. I look at something I've made and find it fulfilling.

enry

Plug-me-in wrote: »

I think for the moment, I do feel fulfilled. But like the Duchess said, feelings change, give me a few months, I might change an opinin, or my course in life might be shaken up, and I could easily feel less so... Plus, I am only 19, what teenager is supposed to feel anything other than a bit of uncertainty and maybe a hangover or two?


But, I do know, that any time I feel like I might be heading in the wrong direction, I think of everything I have going for me. And everyone else has too, life is always worthwhile when LC too.


For me, it's spending hours with my horses, or my dogs, just completely unwinding, away from people, (particularly if others have been catalysts for my down feelings!) this really makes me realise that they give me back the attention ten fold.


I'm also happy with where I am which I'm sure helps, studying medicine, hopefully with a career as a doctor in the future, amazing boyfriend, and family and friends. And a month travelling Europe in August!


It's up to us to make our own life worthwhile, find our own fulfilment!

is it difficult to find fulfilment if you or your family have loads of money?