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3year old has gone off my boyfriend

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  • 13-07-2009 12:21pm
    #1
    Sunlover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    Hi everyone,

    I would really appreciate some help or advice that anyone has. I have a three year old boy. I am going out with my boyfriend for two years. The two of them use to really get on but in the last few months my toddlers attidude has changed towards my boyfriend. He tells him to go away regularly and disagrees with everything my boyfriend suggests. My boyfriend is getting a bit upset by it because he really does try his best with him but lately is kind of giving up because he seems to be getting nowhere.

    My son has gotten very attached to me lately as I got let go before Christmas and was around all the time. I have started working part-time again but am only working 15 hours so still have time to give hime attention.

    I was putting it down to my son seeing that my boyfriend was talking my attention away from him. But this getting harder to explain to my boyfriend. I am still at home and my son idiolises his grandparents and aunt.

    And of course when my sons father does come to visit(when it suits him),my son is mad about him because he sees him as someone who just turns up to play with him for a hour every now and then.

    Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can change my sons attidute? They use to get on so well together. I could leave them alone and they would be happy out but now my son throws a tantrum looking for me.
    Any help would be greatly appreciated :)


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    #2
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    My son (who'll be three later this month) will quite often turn around and tell me to go away and leave him and my wife alone. It's just a phase, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I apparently was the same for a while with my own mother and father. Seldom seen is much admired and all that, when my parents call over (which is once a week) he's all about them, if my brother does (which is only a handful of times a year) you couldn't prise him away from him if you wanted. The main thing is not to take it personally, the child doesn't mean it that way.


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    #3
    flynnc8
    Closed Accounts Posts: 410 ✭✭flynnc8


    Same here my daughter is 3 and gives her dad an awful time, sends him to tears sometimes.... but loves him when it suits her... definitly a phase...

    same as the Op she's allover her grandparents and aunts and uncles..


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    #4
    Sunlover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭Sunlover


    Thanks very much...its always good to hear that other people experience the same things :)


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    #5
    jmbkay
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭jmbkay


    You cant change your sons attitude. Dont even try. Dont let your son see that you are annoyed with him or blame him, he is the child here. He possibly wants affirmation that he comes first. It is understandable that boyfriend is upset, but he is an adult If I were you, and Im not, I would leave things as they are for a while, and start observing both of them without saying anything. Then, if thing were still the same, in say, a year, I would re-assess everything, and yes that includes the boyfriend. Sorry if this sounds harsh.


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    #6
    flynnc8
    Closed Accounts Posts: 410 ✭✭flynnc8


    jmbkay wrote: »
    You cant change your sons attitude. Dont even try. Dont let your son see that you are annoyed with him or blame him, he is the child here. He possibly wants affirmation that he comes first. It is understandable that boyfriend is upset, but he is an adult If I were you, and Im not, I would leave things as they are for a while, and start observing both of them without saying anything. Then, if thing were still the same, in say, a year, I would re-assess everything, and yes that includes the boyfriend. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

    I'm sorry but I have to disagree I firmly believe the OP's son is just beginning to understand that they have a choice whom they want to be with just as the rest of us do. He has clearly realised that he can make choices in his life and unfortunately he justs sticks to this one. I bet you when the OP's son is disaplined he calls out for her partner or his dad instead of mum..

    just children being picky and choosing the option that seems best to them...


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    #7
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    I know not everyone is a Freudian but sometimes he can make a reasonable amount of sense. Although the Oedipus Complex is supposed to emerge around 4ish, a lot of stage thoeries these days seem to be becoming more flexible with age so, at age 3, your son could be entering this phase.


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    #8
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    jmbkay wrote: »
    Then, if thing were still the same, in say, a year, I would re-assess everything, and yes that includes the boyfriend. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

    Not harsh, just completely OTT.


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