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Miscarriage - how to cope with your babies due date?

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  • 14-07-2009 7:35pm
    #1
    CathyMoran
    Registered Users Posts: 7,458 ✭✭✭


    Hi, we had a miscarriage at 9.5 weeks in January and the due date is coming up shortly - I know that it will be another painful time for us - does anyone have any suggestions as to what we could do to make this time easier for us? Thanks.


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    #2
    iguana
    Registered Users Posts: 12,916 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    My date was 8 weeks ago and we just arranged to have a nice day together and make it about the two of us. We went to lunch and took a long walk along the river. We talked quite a bit about the baby, what we should have been doing, but also about our future.

    We tried to be upbeat, although obviously there were teary moments. I had been completely dreading the date, but it was actually a nice day and I can look back at it as good memory of how much we care for each other. So even if it's still just the two of us, we do have each other.


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    #3
    CathyMoran
    Registered Users Posts: 7,458 ✭✭✭CathyMoran


    iguana wrote: »
    My date was 8 weeks ago and we just arranged to have a nice day together and make it about the two of us. We went to lunch and took a long walk along the river. We talked quite a bit about the baby, what we should have been doing, but also about our future.

    We tried to be upbeat, although obviously there were teary moments. I had been completely dreading the date, but it was actually a nice day and I can look back at it as good memory of how much we care for each other. So even if it's still just the two of us, we do have each other.
    Thanks and I am sorry for your loss. We had some losses since but this was the only one that we saw on the scanner. I was thinking of trying to arrange a break away (will not be in work on that day), thing is I just do not know how we will feel on the day.


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    #4
    crazy cat lady
    Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭crazy cat lady


    Hi Cathy,

    I think the thoughts of the due date coming up are far worse than when the day actually arrives. I was an emotional wreck after my miscarriage in November, and to this day I still cry about the child we lost. I was dreading my due date coming and like you I didn't know how I would feel. But I coped, and you will too

    We went to England to spend time with my family which was a great distraction, but I don't think it would've mattered where we were or what we were doing, it still would've been on my mind.

    You could spend every day thinking about what might have been... How fat would I be now?... Would the baby have come on time?... Would I have coped in labour?... Is it a Girl or a Boy?... The questions could go on forever (and probably will) but you need to look to the future too. We'll never have the answers to these questions and its cruel to torment yourself by asking them, at least that is what I have found anyway.

    Try to make the day special, do something nice, treat yourself. Try to remember the happiness your little baby brought to you both for the short time it was with you. Some people will never experience that happiness.

    You'll be fine Cathy, stay positive x


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I absolutely dreaded my due date but the run up to it was actually worse than the day itself. I took the day off work and had a quiet day with my husband - there were some tears, but to be honest, it was such a relief when it was over. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated.

    The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and not to expect too much of yourself. Only do what you feel up to doing. Good luck with everything - I hope you start to feel better soon.


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    #6
    jmbkay
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭jmbkay


    HI, I had a miscarriage several years ago on 30 July and every year I think of it. But happily, by the due date I was pregnant again. Hope that happens for you.


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    #7
    CathyMoran
    Registered Users Posts: 7,458 ✭✭✭CathyMoran


    I will know a few days before...the thing is that we have had a few chemical pregnancies since (I think that it is because I always test around the date my period is due - am a bold girl)...the first one was different because we saw them on the ultrasound and stupidly fell head over heels in love with our little bean.


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    #8
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    My first baby was due on July 19th and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel strange on that day. I didn't even mention it to the OH but it did play on my mind.

    I'm going to feel the same come February 23rd 2010 :(

    Just pamper yourself and keep the faith hun X


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