Pighead

giggsy664 · 16-07-2009 3:36pm #1

Yes or no?

Pighead
"Pighead's mind was in a particularly deep and intellectual place yesterday and decided that it was time to turn off Jeremy Kyle and his lowest common denominator rubbish talk and put on something a bit more thought provoking and high brow. Ended up picking up Forrest Gump as had never seen it before. It was an inspired choice. What a movie. One particular thought provoking moment came when Forest came out with this classic quote:
"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
Wow! That line absolutely knocked Pigheads socks off. Stopped the DVD, rewound, and played it again and again. It was probably the most inspirational quote Pighead had heard since Jack in the film Titanic shouted out "I'm the king of the world"
Anyway the film finished and that classic box of chocolates quote was still fresh in the mind. Miss Piggy came home a while later. It was time to impress her.
Miss Piggy: What do you want for dinner Pighead? Pighead: "Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Miss Piggy: What the hell are you talking about ya big eejit? I've just asked you what you want. If you tell me, I'll make it and therefore you WILL know what you're gonna get. Besides most boxes of chocolates come with the little paper that tells you what kind they are. You're momma was a spanner Pighead. Pighead: How dare you say that. Don't insult Moma just because you don't understand the quote you wench.
Stormed out of the house and cursed the Gods. "Why did you have to make Pighead so intellectually superior to most other people? They just don't understand"
Anyway, still inspired by Gump, Pighead started thinking about other things that life is like and decided that: "Life is like a walk in the park. Good in parts but rubbish when you stand in dog****"
What quote do you think sums life up? "

" Have you ever been robbed? Pighead has. They took his bicycle. And it wasn't just any old bicycle. It was the best bicycle out of all the bicycles in the nearby area. It was a British Eagle mountain bike and it had 21 gears and was metallic black with beautiful strokes of silver lightly brushed through various points of the bodywork. It was an absolute work of art and every time Pighead sat on it's saddle he felt like a superhero or sometimes a cowboy.
Everybody in the village used to call Pighead "The Eagle". It was the greatest nickname a young child could ever dare to hope for. Especially considering the fact that the rest of the gang consisted of Fathead, ratface, horse(he had a ridiculously long face) and ET(extra thin).
Anyway one day "The Eagle" was gliding down to the village shop when he seen a donkey in distress in a nearby field. The poor fcuker was caught up in a load of barbed wire and was crying it's little donkey eyes out. Jumped off the bike, laid it down in the ditch and heroically strode across the field and freed the donkey from its torment. The donkey nodded as if to say "Cheers Eagle, nice one buddy"
Walked back to the ditch where the bike had been laid but it was nowhere to be seen. The bike was gone. It had been stolen. Pighead cried and cried and cried some more. Never ever got the bike back. The robbers had stolen not just a great bike but a great nickname as well. The Eagle was dead and was to be replaced by Donkey Lover.
So whats the greatest thing that the robbers have stolen from you? "