Things To Do With A . . .

Deki

lick it

tie ribbon around it and use to decorate giant christmas tree

use as a colorful J


empty cello dispenser

PFJSplitter

Refill it...

Burn it in the fireplace...

Return it to Elmer Bernstein...


Rib bone

Deki

use to play xylophone

polish and bleach it tie it up at end of string and use as mobile

grind it up for giant of beanstalk fame's bread


empty tic tac holder

Spastafarian

Stash box.
Prison for assorted insects.
Hold tic taks.

Left male nipple.

Deki

Clean it -blow it up-paint stripe on it and use for kick ball

Fill with hot water and use as heat pack

Sew straps on and use as hand bag

one red quilted glove (with zipper)

Meemars

One red quilted glove (with zipper)

Affect Jacko-like single-glove-wearing habit
Match it with it's partner and wear as a pair (novel, I know!)
Wear it with a mismatch and affect eccentricity.

Can of Compressed Air

Deki

use as "wind" to blow your toy boats about in the bath
put in hamsters mouth, use to inflate, tie string to his little leg
put nozzle into ant hill, blow apart.

last years calendar

PFJSplitter

Hang in the bathroom and use it for toilet paper...

Use for kindling...

Cut out the letters you need for your ransom note...


An oily banana

joes girls

clean it!

rub it on your frying pan!

use it as a firelighter!


Old phone!!!!

James T Kirk

eat it, shag it, donate it to charity

empty cigarette box

joes girls

use it to keep dead flies in!

collect them and make a dolls house out of them!

put money in it!


A pipe!!!!

Iron Hide

smoke it
bash someone
stick it in a can a drink thru it....

Headphones

Deki

listen to music not disturbing others
hook them up backwards and use as mic
knit fuzzy covers for them and keep your ears warm.

orange peels- ( i'm eating the good part)

joes girls

use them to strangle you!

tap them on your head one at a time, chinese earphone torture!

share them!


A sticky!!!

staker

hang a picture
do a magic trick
hunt sheepy

moustache

Deki

trim it
shave off half for a "new look"
grow it really long and curl the ends with wax -twiddle with it and Ssy" Wha-HA! HA!"
while raising one eyebrow.

a stapler that does't staple

BluesBerry

Pretend your Captain Kirk with communicator and get scotty to beam you up

Use it as a fly swatter

Carefully place it on top of an ajar door so when the next person to open it will get a surprise *WARNING* do not attempt to open said door yourself*



A Pine Tree Car Airfreshner (green)

Meemars

Use it for woodland scenery for your hornby train setup.

A cast for a mould for a christmas cookie cutter.

Give it to a taxi driver for his car, no one else uses the stinky things.


Dead houseplant

joes girls

give it as a christmas gift.

dry out the leaves and smoke it.

paint it green .......it's alive again!



A snowball. .........have to be fast, it's melting!!!

Cicero

Put it in the fridge, freeze it, then use it as icecubes in Rum & Coke
Make a mini snowman out of it
Throw it at JG:D

A Rainbow

Deki

Put one end in lake and use as giant water slide
Use it as a bridge
turn it upside down and use as giant rocker

little gray cloud

James T Kirk

Sit on it, stand under it with a bar of soap and hope it rains, use as a pillow.

The number '68'.

Deki

1. shove it into that gap between 67 and 69
~~2. have it printed up on a football jersey
~~3. slap it onto an interstate sign and use it to get from
Morgantown to Hancock:p

a box of rocks

James T Kirk

Shake them and dance like an Indian, throw them at politicians, cover them in chocolate and give as cakes to people you hate.

Old pair of Y-fronts

Deki

1. Use as dust mitt
2. put them on a large yellow sponge ,attach google eyes,and some rope arms and legs give as sponge bob cuddle toy
3.glue on some colorful shiney spots and wear as New Years Hat- remember to compliment headgear with your matching whiz-tickler.

a leaky sand (or something) filled 5 lb hand weight?

James T Kirk

Ha ha!

Drop it from a height on Tiger Woods' head, sprinkle sand around the bath and pretend I'm at the beach, pour the sand down my trousers to see what it feels like.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

Deki

1.leave it laying on coffee table so visitors will think better of my reading tastes.
2. use it to prpo the door open
3.use it as step stool to get into the overhead cupboards
(probably I would read it)

A broken back scratcher
(only one finger broken but tends to cut now instead of scratch:()

James T Kirk

Poor Shakey But yeah, yer right.

Use the scratcher to catch spiders, comb my hair, or reach for the remote.

A bicycle pump

Deki

1. um... pump up things?
2. tie feathers to the nozzle end and pump it to make cat jump in air
3. stand behind someone and simultaneouly pump and make sneezing sound- say sorry.
(of course i'd have to wedge it open some how first)

a ticking wind up kitchen timer

James T Kirk

1. Put it in yer luggage on a flight, watch the ensuing hilarity.

2. Turn it all they way up, hold breath.

3. Use as alarm clock for < 2hr snoozes.

A false beard

joes girls

to help keep my toes warm.

to pad out my bra.

put it on as extra protection in the attic!


a banana peel.

larchielads

banana peel

while driving throw it out the window pretending your in the mario kart game

put it on your brothers head and call him skin head

stategically place it on the floor to watch your granny fall and break her hip

a glass hammer

Deki

hang it in the window as a sunctcher

use for paperweight

use as prism and watch the pretty colors

a small jar of red paint

James T Kirk

Use as fake blood, paint the town, pour down trousers to see what it feels like (always a good one)

Tiger Woods' golf clubs

Deki

pull back,swing,let fly into ocean.
get endorsement from Mrs. Woods and sale as handy attack weapons.
Back the car over them, pull up, try again..

one square wooden baby block
(careful James- you'll do yourself an injury:rolleyes:)

Meemars

Make indents on each face to make a dice (die?)
Cut into 26 smaller cubes, paint sides to make a rubiks cube.
Keep it in your pocket and bring it out to kick along the street as you wander.

Handbell with no clapper.

James T Kirk

1. Immediately put down trousers to see what it feels like.

2. Drink beer from it.

3. Make friends with it.

A false leg...

Deki

1. keep in closet tucked in so just to see bottom half and ask some to get your coat (would be better if you had two)
2. arrange under car tire, drip some red paint around- this would be really good in snow.
3. make into a lovely lamp. put in front window so all those on the street can admire it.

practice amp that no longer works but has all the dials

joes girls

To put my coffee on!
Pull everything out fromm inside it and use it as a box for all boxy things!
Use it as a stool, for a small bum!


A bell that dont dong anymore!

Deki

1. install a new dinger
2. tie ball and string on, catch the ball in the cup
3. slam over spider and slide cardboard under, release spider outdoors

one domino

homah_7ft

Use it to fidget with and annoy the hell out of someone.
Fling it across the room at someone who is falling asleep.
Wrap it up as a christmas present for a person who says, it's the thought that counts.


A pillow case.

staker

use it to ground digestive biscuits for a cheesecake
siphon a badly opened bottle of red wine
use it as a blindfold when kidnapping a rhino


a leaky wellington

Deki

1,Fill it with dirt and plant a geranium in it
2,attach it to a lever and pulley system and use it to kick yourself when you know you need a swift kick... why bother others...
3. Put it on the wooden leg (see above:rolleyes:) to give more realism to leg in closet stunt.



empty cardboard tube from paper towels

Matt Holck

wave it in the wind till it hums
roll marbles down it
fill it with corn, seal the ends and shake it

a plastic milk crate

James T Kirk

Put down trous

Sit on it and ponder, like that sculpture The Thinker.

Stick it in a gallery, call it modern art, make millions.

Put little wheels on it, attach rocket at rear, go places in it.

joes girls

ok you left nothing to play with, so i will play you!!!

3 things to do with a james t kirk!

make him stand with his arm out, hang coats on him!

Put a star on his head, hang a few balls and lights for a lovely christmas tree!

rent him out, and hope to make loads of money(but he's no Chewbacca:))


A flashy snowman that does not flash anymore!!!

Cicero

put him on ure (lovely) Christmas tree with a fairy light stuck up his arse
put him on top of a very big iced christmas cake
send him to a snowman psychologist who might be able to get his flashy bits working again


a ton of rotten fish heads

Deki

feed an army of cats
plant one with each grain of corn
turn into rotten fish slurry and fertilize the yard


a tiny two-headed plastic dragon

Cicero

chop one of his heads off and market him as a normal dragon
feed him some fish heads so he is not quite as tiny as he is currently
set fire to one of his heads so it looks like his other head is breathing fire


A partridge in a pear tree

Deki

Give it to my "true love" on first day of Christmas
Plant the pear tree in my yard- let the partridge fly free
Eat the pears and the partridge

2 turtledoves?