Things that make you laugh out and about...

IsItJustMeOr...

Not a taxing post by any means, but we all see things out and about that makes us laugh...

I was in Tesco's a few weeks ago queuing behind quite a young couple with a young child.

Their groceries consisted of two bottles of vodka and a pregnancy test.
All I could think was...'So if it’s positive, we’ll get hammered on vodka and if it’s negative, we’ll celebrate and just get hammered anyway on vodka!' :-)

Pique

ok, drink-related again (see the trend beginning to form)
Girl in Centra shop getting 'a few drinks for a quiet night in'.

This consisted of:
Bottle of wne
6 cans of beer
Flagan of cider
2 x 1L bottles of WKD.

I'd love to see her on a session

babaloushka

Well, since we're on about checkouts and what strange combinations people buy, here's one that still makes me laugh when I think about it today. A few years ago, I was behind a man (circa 45) with only 2 items in his basket on a Friday evening in a Strabane supermarket: a pack of 48 condoms and a toothbrush :pac:
I caught the look :eek: on the checkout girl's face (circa 17) and I nearly had to leave the store without my trolly! I hope he got lucky and didn't die of a heart attack

Klim

I remember being in Chartbusters one evening, and going up to pay for my dvd. There was a young enough man (27ish) milling around, so I stood behind him. He immediately moved and said 'go you first'. I thought, how nice. He then did the same to another couple. I forgot my card at the counter, and when I returned, the girl was asking him how long a session he wanted on the sunbeds!! The poor fella nearly died when he saw me. One of the girls behind the counter had to get up and leave she was laughing so hard.

I felt sorry for him. Funny nonetheless though.

LoanShark

I used to work in a hotel years ago,
And one mothers day there was a family in (Load of kids+ Parents0
The mother couldn't finish her dinner and asked the waitress if she could wrap up the bit of meat so as she could take it home for the dog...and with that her son roars at the top of his voice "Mammy are we getting a dog?"

puffdragon

Yeah life is deffntly funnier than fiction I must get out more maybe it`l cheer me up:)

irish1967

Overheard in Ballyshannon a few years back. There was a display taking place by the air sea rescue helicopter which was based in Finner at the time. The first guy,looking up at the helicopter says "jaysus.. I would hate to be up there in that thing" and quick as a flash the second guy says " jaysus... I would hate to be up there without it ! "

puffdragon

A friend of a friend was talkin to his friend recently who just had his son christened and asked what name he had given the poor unfortunate thing ,to which he replied "we called him Nathan" Yer man said (genuinely) "Aw jasus sure yes better call him somethin"

muffler

puffdragon wrote: »

A friend of a friend was talkin to his friend recently who just had his son christened and asked what name he had given the poor unfortunate thing ,to which he replied "we called him Nathan" Yer man said (genuinely) "Aw jasus sure yes better call him somethin"

Happened in St. Johnston or Porthall no doubt

Pique

muffler wrote: »

Happened in St. Johnston or Porthall no doubt

I hope you're not insinuating anything about specific areas now Muffler. That could be construed badly by certain members.

muffler

Pique wrote: »

I hope you're not insinuating anything about specific areas now Muffler. That could be construed badly by certain members.

OK. Im sorry.

Overheard in a bakery in a village I cant mention. Guy says to the girl behind the counter - "Is that a gateaux or a meringue?" Girl says: "No, you're right"

sesswhat

muffler wrote: »

Overheard in a bakery in a village I cant mention. Guy says to the girl behind the counter - "Is that a gateaux or a meringue?" Girl says: "No, you're right"

Good one. Don't think you had to go too far from home

puffdragon

Now we dont have to go that far for that kinda craic !! In convoy at the weekend havin a drink scoulin as usual about the government and all (you know the way you do when your pissed) I said "Mary Harney should be linched" and yer man says "Aye feckn Mary Harney a roon bale wey a heead" Poor Mary!!

eman66

Shortly after they introduced traffic wardens in Letterkenny they put the little traffic warden doll hanging buy a noose in the motor factors window on main street. They were just doing what everybody wanted to do. The traffic warden himself took it in good spirits.

irish1967

muffler wrote: »

Overheard in a bakery in a village I cant mention. Guy says to the girl behind the counter - "Is that a gateaux or a meringue?" Girl says: "No, you're right"

Didn't that girl have a creche before she worked in the bakery? Hear the car was a rightoff.

Glenman

Klim wrote: »

I remember being in Chartbusters one evening, and going up to pay for my dvd. There was a young enough man (27ish) milling around, so I stood behind him. He immediately moved and said 'go you first'. I thought, how nice. He then did the same to another couple. I forgot my card at the counter, and when I returned, the girl was asking him how long a session he wanted on the sunbeds!! The poor fella nearly died when he saw me. One of the girls behind the counter had to get up and leave she was laughing so hard.

I felt sorry for him. Funny nonetheless though.

I dont get this one...could someone please enlighten me!

Vic Vinegar

Glenman wrote: »

I dont get this one...could someone please enlighten me!

He didn't want anyone to know he wanted a sunbed..... cos it's ghey.

muffler

I take it that chartbusters provide this service then

Klim

Opps, sorry. I sort of presumed a lot of them had sunbeds. My bad. Not a very funny story when I read it back now anyway!!!

muffler

Klim wrote: »

Opps, sorry. I sort of presumed a lot of them had sunbeds. My bad. Not a very funny story when I read it back now anyway!!!

It begs the question as to what type of tanning he was looking for so :eek:

danniemcq

might as well shame myself a bit, was running down the street one day and somehow missed the footpath and smacked into the ground right in front of a couple sitting on a wall. I jumped back up waved at them and ran off, I was amazed they hadn't bust out laughing (I would have) but they managed to control it. Oh and weird buying lists? 96 condoms the day before valentines! superdrug was doing 2 for 1 on 12 packs and some of my girl I lived with were to embarrassed to go in. The girl at the counter kept a straight face till the end and then just winked and said enjoy!

puffdragon

Shame yourself!! Listen lad , A friend of mine told me this:: He was working in London for a while and one day he was digging round this manhole cover (now you might need to be familiar with a pick and shovel to get this) anyway, he was digging away when he noticed the pick shaft was getting a bit loose, so he banged the head of the pick on the ground a couple of times and just as he was doing this he was distracted by this "big black doll"(a coloured woman)walking past the site ,all of a sudden something or someone hit him the hardest slap on the jaw ,he reeled around in shock with the fists up,"what the f--k!!", only to realise he had banged the pick down hard on the point of the shovel which was lying on the ground and the f--k--g thing shot up and clouted him, I split my sides laughing at this every time I think about it I hope you can visualise and enjoy..

mrmac

A few weeks ago, while in the middle of a long que for the clothes checkout in Dunnes stores, my darling 3 year old daughter, was running around one of the short pole things they have as a kind of barrier. I let a brief "stop that, leave the pole alone", to which she replied "no daddy, I'm a pole dancer!". Knowing, for a fact, that she didn't know what she had just said, I thought it was funny, and couldn't help but laugh!

Sweet Lord, but did I get some strange looks from everyone else!

eman66

A foreign guy on a Donegal building site was a bit of loner, kept himself to himself mostly because of the language difficulties. He befriended a stray dog and would give him some of his lunch each day, so the dog would hang around the site near him all day. One day the dog ate another brickies lunch. The brickie got mad, threw a stone at the dog who scarpered off down the road. When somebody told the foreign guy he started shouting at everybody and nobody. What he meant to say was "who threw a stone at my dog and chased him away" but his English was mostly made up of phrases he picked up from the Irish so what actually came out was "who kicked dog up arse with stone and called him fvck off!". Sounded very funny. I don't think he even knew he was swearing.

rikerdonegal

A few weeks back, when Michael Jackson was all in the news, I was standing in the queue in the chemists behind a dad and his young daughter (very small, probably not even at school, I'm not good at ages, but she was small anyway).

I'm not sure what the dad and the lady behind the counter had been talking about but they were interrupted when the young girl started telling everyone, very loudly, that "Michael Jackson is my boyfriend" causing everyone within earshot to chuckle and the father to stare down at her with (what I judged to be) utter perplexion.

Not sure if it's at all funny in the re-telling, but it made me smile for days.