Does it bother you if your fella cries?

Stench Blossoms

I went out with a guy for about 3 years. He always cried when we had a fight. It was emotional blackmail.

Since then I can't deal with people crying (girls or boys). I have to walk away.

pikachucheeks

Darragh29 wrote: »

You left one out! I bawled my eyes out when my dog got hit by a car a little over a year ago... The vet wanted to put him down and he was lying on the path not knowing what was going on, (he's a big dog), and the vet reckoned he was fu*ked.

What is it with men and their dogs?


I know a guy who's a total "hard" man, yet he's the soppiest thing ever when it comes to his pets! Has tons of photos of them on his Facebook!

It's refreshing to know he does have a softer side though.

random.stranger

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

No mention of the crying game?

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

Emmm,I think you will find that was rugby.

And giving the Historical aspect of having an English team represented in Croker for the first time it was more than understandable and acceptable.

Any man crying at a football or rugby match in my opinion is gay. Nothing wrong with being gay by the way!

pikachucheeks wrote: »

What is it with men and their dogs?

I know a guy who's a total "hard" man, yet he's the soppiest thing ever when it comes to his pets! Has tons of photos of them on his Facebook!

It's refreshing to know he does have a softer side though.

Well I don't have pics everywhere of my dog but seeing your old companion going to be put down and having to convince the vet to see if there is something that can be done for him I think is sure to drag a tear out of the hardest guy!

pikachucheeks

Darragh29 wrote: »

Any man crying at a football or rugby match in my opinion is gay.

I don't agree.
I think it shows a great sense of passion.

Expressing raw emotion over something you feel strongly for is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bloody Nipples

The lack of participation of males in weeping is hormonal not (totally ) as a result of some kind of manly covenant, where we've taken a blood oath to face adversity with a stiff upper lip and out-thrust chest.

When male humans hit puberty, testosterone levels in the body increase while levels of prolactin ( a "stress" protein) decrease. This results in decreased episodes of crying. Male and female children will cry and whinge roughly the same amount but puberty hits and boom. Occasions of crying among male children drop away.

As a guy, I haven't cried in years. I don't worry about it. When things get stressful, I (and most other men) don't have to manfully blink away tears. They're just not there.

Otis Driftwood

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I don't agree.
I think it shows a great sense of passion.

Expressing raw emotion over something you feel strongely for is nothing to be ashamed of.

+1

When United won the CL in 08 there was a group of approx 300 drunken and bleary eyed blokes in Sinnotts,myself included.Try telling them they are gay for being passionate about a team they have supported since they were kids.

Malari

orla wrote: »

I went out with a guy for about 3 years. He always cried when we had a fight. It was emotional blackmail.

Since then I can't deal with people crying (girls or boys). I have to walk away.

Know what you mean. I knew a guy like this too, who used it as emotional blackmail. I wouldn't be the best at comforting anyway, but after the 2nd time the tears arrived I just walked away. Get a grip please.

Saw my dad cry twice, my boyfriend once. Justifiable reasons. My mother I've never seen cry, incidentally. I don't cry much, so I must get it from her.

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

+1

When United won the CL in 08 there was a group of approx 300 drunken and bleary eyed blokes in Sinnotts,myself included.Try telling them they are gay for being passionate about a team they have supported since they were kids.

I can't identify with this at all I'm afraid. Firstly to me football is a sport, in the case of Manchester United, it's more of a cult! I wouldn't get sucked into a cult in the first place and I wouldn't be so passionate about a cult, that would cause me to be upset about it. I can't understand how any person, man or woman can get so absorbed in a football team. It's a business, just like your local pub, they sell pints and spirits for a profit, a football team charges you to go and see the game and then thay pay players like £100,000 a week to play for them! What on earth is there to be upset about there?!?

fippy

crying like russel crowe - yes
crying like christiano ronaldo - NO!!!

Otis Driftwood

Darragh29 wrote: »

I can't identify with this at all I'm afraid. Firstly to me football is a sport, in the case of Manchester United, it's more of a cult! I wouldn't get sucked into a cult in the first place and I wouldn't be so passionate about a cult, that would cause me to be upset about it. I can't understand how any person, man or woman can get so absorbed in a football team. It's a business, just like your local pub, they sell pints and spirits for a profit, a football team charges you to go and see the game and then thay pay players like £100,000 a week to play for them! What on earth is there to be upset about there?!?

If you arent a sports fan then you couldnt possibly fathom what Im talking about.

You dont understand it so that makes it gay.

I dont understand quantum physics,does that make science gay?

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

If you arent a sports fan then you couldnt possibly fathom what Im talking about.

You dont understand it so that makes it gay.

I dont understand quantum physics,does that make science gay?

When did you last see someome crying because they couldn't get their head around quantum physics?!?!?!?

I've loads of mates who are sports fans but they don't start crying when Manchester United or Liverpool loose a game! It's nothing less than over dramatic and completely rediculous to see grown men sobbing at the likes of Ronaldo, Beckham or some other insanely overpaid wahnker putting on a show...

amacachi

Darragh29 wrote: »

When did you last see someome crying because they couldn't get their head around quantum physics?!?!?!?

At about 12.45 on the 15th of June. Some people get very upset about the Leaving Cert.

pikachucheeks

Darragh29 wrote: »

I've loads of mates who are sports fans but they don't start crying when Manchester United or Liverpool loose a game! It's nothing less than over dramatic and completely rediculous to see grown men sobbing at the likes of Ronaldo, Beckham or some other insanely overpaid wahnker putting on a show...

I think it's more about expressing their devotion and passion for the game itself, rather than the actual players.

I'm not a football fan, I think the sport is becoming increasing more about money and finances these days which saddens me, but I can respect that a lot of people have been fans of certain teams since they were small. I admire their love of the game, their love of their team and their loyalty to that team.

I think it's very attractive, when a person is passionate about something!

Darragh29

amacachi wrote: »

At about 12.45 on the 15th of June. Some people get very upset about the Leaving Cert.

Well at least someone getting upset in that situation is upset about something that is possibly worth getting upset about in the first place, maybe in terms of it having an impact on their future, etc.

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I think it's more about expressing their devotion and passion for the game itself, rather than the actual players.

I'm not a football fan, I think the sport is becoming increasing more about money and finances these days which saddens me, but I can respect that a lot of people have been fans of certain teams since they were small. I admire their love of the game, their love of their team and their loyalty to that team.

I think it's very attractive, when a person is passionate about something!

Maybe I'm rushing to judge people but to me, if you are crying over a football game, for whatever reason, there is something seriously wrong with you! I'm sure equally someone would say if you are crying over a dog, there is something wrong with you as well, which is fine with me!

I can go out and watch a match, I can go to a Dublin game and be very happy when they win or disappointed when they lose, I can watch Milan or Manchester United and enjoy the game, but I wouldn't dream of being upset at a result of any game. I reserve my unbridled passion for things that affect my life, and nothing else. It doesn't get wasted on the likes of Ronaldo!

discostick12

Wouldn't bother me at all if my bloke cried infront of my.
Sometimes I think theres something wrong with him if something bad happens and he doesn't show any emotion, but then I remember he's a man and move on!
Wish I had that much will power:D

Otis Driftwood

Its not about crying at every single sporting instance,when it happens,its generally because something momentous has occured ie,the team Ive supported for the last 25 years winning the Champions League,an English team being represented for the first time ever in the spiritual home of our national sport,and the Irish players being a part of that.

These are things that rarely occur and some sports fans will never get the opportunity to experience them.

You ask some Liverpool fans,what would it be like to win the premiership after such a gap(20 years or so)and maybe pip Man United to the title.You can be garunteed that alot of them would shed a tear of joy.

If you arent passionate about any team or sport then I dont expect you to get it,but I also would not expect to be insulted either.

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

Its not about crying at every single sporting instance,when it happens,its generally because something momentous has occured ie,the team Ive supported for the last 25 years winning the Champions League,an English team being represented for the first time ever in the spiritual home of our national sport,and the Irish players being a part of that.

These are things that rarely occur and some sports fans will never get the opportunity to experience them.

You ask some Liverpool fans,what would it be like to win the premiership after such a gap(20 years or so)and maybe pip Man United to the title.You can be garunteed that alot of them would shed a tear of joy.

If you arent passionate about any team or sport then I dont expect you to get it,but I also would not expect to be insulted either.

I've mates who are very passionate about football, but if one of them started crying at the end of a match, they'd be taken out of the pub and put in a taxi home!

Oh The Humanity

It would bother me yeh!

I dont cry myself, I dont understand people crying!
Pull yerself together n'all !

Seeing a man cry = not good.

Nevyn

It depnds on the context.
Crying can be very good for a person when they are under stress or upset but crying at a drop of a hat or for what seems minor things would mean to me that there is something wrong with a person.

Otis Driftwood

Darragh29 wrote: »

I've mates who are very passionate about football, but if one of them started crying at the end of a match, they'd be taken out of the pub and put in a taxi home!

I was at the Connacht final that Roscommon won a few years ago and saw a number of men in their 60s and older crying afterwards.It was years since they had last won one and these guys had been fans their whole lives.

Im staggered that you find this so hard to understand but you obviously dont have a passion for any team in particular.Thats fair enough but to state that any bloke that would cry at something like this is gay is pretty damn childish.

If you are missing out on this kind of group elation then I kind of feel sorry for you.

Oh The Humanity

I disagree with the idea that 'if you dont cry then there is something wrong with you'

People are all different and some people don't cry, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with them.

I am as emotional as the next person. I would feel very down and miserable but it just would not turn into crying. Its not that I am controlling wanting to cry, it just doesn't enter my head to cry.

I am sometimes amazed seeing grown ups crying about small things like someone hurting their feelings or something going wrong etc

If I hurt myself I would be much more likely to swear than cry.

bronte

A dear male friend of mine was grieving someone close to them bout a year ago.
He broke down when I was talking about it with him.
Tbh it broke my heart so much to see him in pain, and all I wanted to do was wrap him in a ball, and take that pain away.
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

I was at the Connacht final that Roscommon won a few years ago and saw a number of men in their 60s and older crying afterwards.It was years since they had last won one and these guys had been fans their whole lives.

Im staggered that you find this so hard to understand but you obviously dont have a passion for any team in particular.Thats fair enough but to state that any bloke that would cry at something like this is gay is pretty damn childish.

If you are missing out on this kind of group elation then I kind of feel sorry for you.

No sympathy needed Ned, I enjoy watching football! To my mind, if someone is crying over a football game, then there is something missing in their life.

The only reason I've tied this behaviour to how some gay people I know, can act, is that that is the only time I can think of where I've seen men getting upset or worked up emotionally without what I would consider a valid reason.

I wouldn't waste my passion on the achievements of someone else I didn't give a toss about, for example football players, a whole team, or whatever the case may be... I can go to a Dublin match and be standing on the chair I should be sitting on wth excitement just before a goal, but if they won the Ireland in the morning, I'd be happy or whatever but I wouldn't be wandering around the Hogan Stand crying!

Guys crying at football games I think is the manifestation of "group norm" behaviour... Group norms tend to emerge amongst people who lack a strong sense of self, or a strong inner identity...

Acacia

Darragh29 wrote: »

Any man crying at a football or rugby match in my opinion is gay.

Really? I didn't know showing emotion at sporting events meant that the man in question was sexually attracted to other men...that makes perfect sense.

Darragh29 wrote: »

Nothing wrong with being gay by the way!

They why do you use ''something very wrong with you'' and ''gay'' as interchangeable terms?

Darragh29 wrote: »

Maybe I'm rushing to judge people but to me, if you are crying over a football game, for whatever reason, there is something seriously wrong with you!

Darragh29 wrote: »

The only reason I've tied this behaviour to how some gay people I know, can act, is that that is the only time I can think of where I've seen men getting upset or worked up emotionally without what I would consider a valid reason.

FFS. :rolleyes:

It wouldn't be the fact that they're over-dramatic that makes them get worked up for no valid reason? No, you have to link it with their homosexuality.

Xiney

I'd use the book or film "Marley & Me" as a good gauge of whether I'd get along with someone (male or female) or not.

If they don't cry at the end (which reduced me to a blubbering idiot, both book & film) then there is no hope for us to see eye to eye. Ever.

1071823928

doesnt bother me at all if a guy cries, and i cant believe that it would bother some people! better out than in!!!!!!!!

Oh The Humanity

But crying is a thing children do. I mean maybe if someone dies or someone you love is in terrible pain it might be justified but crying at films and misfortunes is inappropriate!

A few years back I was on a hen night in the UK, myself and the girl I was rooming with were out all night partying, when we got back to our hotel (we had missed the checkout time and they needed the room back) the hotel had packed our stuff into black plastic bags.

My roommate started crying about it. A grown woman in her 30's like. I was so embarassed I didn't know where to look. It was just routine sh1t For Gods sake!!!

I paid the bill and got out of there and told her to cop on and stfu. I nearly died of mortification!!!!

Latchy

I last cried at the graveside of a friend a few years ago ,I was alright up till then then it all came flooding out .An ol cry now and again releases's tension and quite human

Abigayle wrote: »

I cried when Michael Owen went to the dark side :eek: :pac:

He's already scored two goals for them in a friendly match today :eek:

Khannie

I've only cried once in front of my wife; The day my dad died. Curled up in bed together that night and sobbed my heart out. Haven't cried like that before or since. Unbelievably cleansing.

General view: Sure it's warranted in certain situations, but for the most part I'm old fashioned about a man crying in front of a woman if I'm honest.