I know a lot of women like bad boys but...

JohnGalt

How exactly does this work? Like do all women find themselves attracted to bad boys, and how exactly would you define this? Does the definition of what a bad boy is vary from woman to woman, and is it the case that the worse the boy the more attractive he becomes? Would a woman be attracted to a genuinely evil boy like me?

Bonkers_xOx

Well I once went out with a guy who didn't drink and he was the worst person to go out partying with or whatever. I found him really boring. I know it was probably just his personality but since then I've been known to fall for the bad boys:o

Jood

Well I hate to admit to this but I find that I fall for the treat em mean kind all the time!! It's like a guy can be the best in the world to me and I'm like meh not all that interested, but give me a guy that'll cancel dates and generally keep me at a distance and I'm in love with him, no logic to it at all I know

jellie

JohnGalt wrote: »

How exactly does this work? Like do all women find themselves attracted to bad boys, and how exactly would you define this? Does the definition of what a bad boy is vary from woman to woman, and is it the case that the worse the boy the more attractive he becomes? Would a woman be attracted to a genuinely evil boy like me?

why? are you looking for advice on how to be more attractive to girls? :rolleyes:

YT

When I was younger I went out with bad boys, one guy had a motorbike and I went out with him because it was all very "Rebel without a cause" Rebel without a clue more like :rolleyes:

But my boyfriend now is most certainly not a bad boy, he is the loveliest man I know, doesn't do the whole treat her mean thing, instead he treats me like a princess and I absolutely adore and love him

JohnGalt

sar84 wrote: »

why? are you looking for advice on how to be more attractive to girls? :rolleyes:

Not as such. It is an interesting phenomenon to say the least, and I am also wondering to a certain extent if the spawn of satan himself should be a chick magnet.

herya

I have loads of self-respect and laugh at the "treat them mean" types I treat my partners well too. Life is not a game.

pikachucheeks

JohnGalt wrote: »

How exactly does this work? Like do all women find themselves attracted to bad boys, and how exactly would you define this? Does the definition of what a bad boy is vary from woman to woman, and is it the case that the worse the boy the more attractive he becomes? Would a woman be attracted to a genuinely evil boy like me?

In my experience, women are attracted to "bad boys" because they play hard to get, which intrigues us and we believe we can be the one who can 'change' them.

Of course, this rarely works - our efforts fail, the bad boy continues being bad and we end up hurt.

Speaking from my own experience, having been through the whole "bad boy" thing, I'd never go back. I'm older and wiser now!

mink_man

treat them mean, keep them keen!

genericguy

I personally would always treat my partner like a princess, and in my opinion, the girls who like assholes deserve what they get. I've never met a clever/interesting woman who was that way inclined though, thank god.

minidazzler

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Speaking from my own experience, having been through the whole "bad boy" thing, I'd never go back. I'm older and wiser now!

Aren't you 20 or so? On to Bad-men rather than boys then?:p

I hate this whole bad-boy thing, simply because I can't do it, unless I am in a happily drunk mood. I am good enough at acting, but I can't keep up being mean to someone for very long.:mad:

Jood

To be honest I wouldn't like to be treated like a Princess, I've had guys treat me like that in the past and I've just felt smoothered. It's not that I like to be treated badly or anything, I just like to be kept on my toes or I get bored, each to their own I say!!

LadyJ

JohnGalt wrote: »

Not as such. It is an interesting phenomenon to say the least, and I am also wondering to a certain extent if the spawn of satan himself should be a chick magnet.

If you haven't already, you should listen to Bill Hicks talking about Ted Bundy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BX-2xAwsyw

pikachucheeks

minidazzler wrote: »

Aren't you 20 or so? On to Bad-men rather than boys then?:p

I hate this whole bad-boy thing, simply because I can't do it, unless I am in a happily drunk mood. I am good enough at acting, but I can't keep up being mean to someone for very long.:mad:

Yeah, I'm 20! No bad men for me, I like nice men! I'm so over the teenage obsession with ... bad eggs! :pac:

I think it's a shame when people feel they have to be a certain way to attract partners. Be yourself! Some women might like bad boys, but they'll learn in time that the appeal of those guys wears off pretty quickly.
You get sick and tired of being treated like dirt!

Jood wrote: »

To be honest I wouldn't like to be treated like a Princess, I've had guys treat me like that in the past and I've just felt smoothered. It's not that I like to be treated badly or anything, I just like to be kept on my toes or I get bored, each to their own I say!!

I'd agree with you! I think a happy balance is nice - when a guy treats you well, but isn't texting you all the time, or smothering you with too much attention.

genericguy

Jood wrote: »

To be honest I wouldn't like to be treated like a Princess, I've had guys treat me like that in the past and I've just felt smoothered. It's not that I like to be treated badly or anything, I just like to be kept on my toes or I get bored, each to their own I say!!

Kept on your toes? Does he punch you in the face after telling you he loves you?

Jood

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I'd agree with you! I think a happy balance is nice - when a guy treats you well, but isn't texting you all the time, or smoothering you with too much attention.

Exactly, I would often tell my ex not to text me and ring me so much, and he used to get really hurt and couldn't understand why I didn't want to be talking to him all the time, I told him he had to give me space to miss him!!

Will

I did the whole bad boy thing for a while, worked pretty well but it was more my own un-happiness and insecurity showing at the time more than anything else.

Figured a woman should like me for the real me and not because I didn't call her for a week on purpose to make her jealous. I also think it's bad karma to be behaving like that. Treat others, specially people you care about as you would like to be treated yourself.

shellyboo

genericguy wrote: »

Kept on your toes? Does he punch you in the face after telling you he loves you?

Overreaction much? I think I know what Jood is talking about.

I am a complete brat at times; petulant, sulky, bossy and manipulative. I had a lovely lovely bf who would do anything for me, and did do everything for me. Was great for 5 years until I lost all respect for him.

I didn't like who I was when I was with him, and more to the point, I didn't like who he was anymore. I have learned now that I need someone to keep me on my toes as well - someone who will indulge me to a point, but draw the line. Someone who is prepared to draw some boundaries and say no when I push them.

That's not exactly a bad boy, that's just a confident guy who knows what he wants from a relationship. I do not want a "nice guy" - someone who'll pander to my every whim. But I don't want an asshole either.

Xiney

JohnGalt wrote: »

Would a woman be attracted to a genuinely evil boy like me?

*yawn*

Jood

genericguy wrote: »

Kept on your toes? Does he punch you in the face after telling you he loves you?

Ah here, as Shellyboo said, that is an overreaction. What I meant by that is that I need someone basically who'll remind me every so often that the world doesn't revolve around me, I'm no good in a relationship where my partner will let me away with things just because he loves me, I need to be with someone who is confident enough to challenge me or eventually I will lose all respect for him.

SeekUp

JohnGalt wrote: »

How exactly does this work? Like do all women find themselves attracted to bad boys, and how exactly would you define this? Does the definition of what a bad boy is vary from woman to woman, and is it the case that the worse the boy the more attractive he becomes?

Have never been into the bad boy thing, and I never understood why people wasted their time with it. To be honest, I've never really dealt well with all of the games, either. The hunting, the chase. Bleh. Do I like you? Do you like me? Yes? Great. Are you a jerk to me? Am I a jerk to you? No? Great. This could go somewhere.

shellyboo wrote: »

I do not want a "nice guy" - someone who'll pander to my every whim. But I don't want an asshole either.

Why does being a nice guy have such a negative connotation? He can be funny and compassionate and caring, and exciting, and actually have opinions . . . A nice guy isn't necessarily a doormat -- he could just be a nice guy.

Otis Driftwood

Im curious John,what makes you such a

genuinely evil boy

The Big Red Button

I've never been into the whole bad boy thing, I prefer boys who spoil me and treat me like a princess And I hate the whole game-playing, power-struggle thing.

At the same time though, I don't like boys the other side of the scale, who are excessively soppy and romantic. An ex of mine used to write me these long poetic letters with kisses written all over the envelope ... ugh! It made me cringe soooo much.

YT

SeekUp wrote: »

Have never been into the bad boy thing, and I never understood why people wasted their time with it. To be honest, I've never really dealt well with all of the games, either. The hunting, the chase. Bleh. Do I like you? Do you like me? Yes? Great. Are you a jerk to me? Am I a jerk to you? No? Great. This could go somewhere.



Why does being a nice guy have such a negative connotation? He can be funny and compassionate and caring, and exciting, and actually have opinions . . . A nice guy isn't necessarily a doormat -- he could just be a nice guy.

So true. My boyfriend is all that and he is really intelligent, we can actually have really good conversations about anything. We still spend hours talking on the phone or going for a walk we find somewhere nice to sit down and waffle for ages. He's fricking hilarious aswell

Keano

Do women who date bad boys, do so as deep down they do not want to settle down and more often that not bad boys tend to never want to settle? So, dating a bad boy will not mean any long term commitments? I could be way off the mark but I once heard that as a reasoning to why women do date bad boys.

Jood

I suppose what it comes down to is that we're all very different. Women don't like bad boys but a woman might. Each woman looks for something different in a potential partner and thank god for that or we'd all be after the same man

pikachucheeks

Keano A Legend wrote: »

Do women who date bad boys, do so as deep down they do not want to settle down and more often that not bad boys tend to never want to settle?

Well, speaking for myself, I went for the bad boy (several times!) because I want to change them.

I wanted to be the girl they'd change their ways for, the girl who made them see sense.

Sadly, it never worked and I got burned.

Now, I see the appeal of the guys who are honest, genuine people.

shellyboo

SeekUp wrote: »

Why does being a nice guy have such a negative connotation? He can be funny and compassionate and caring, and exciting, and actually have opinions . . . A nice guy isn't necessarily a doormat -- he could just be a nice guy.

I have no idea why it has a negative connotation, but it does - that's why I used quotation marks. Nice guy is essentially another way of saying doormat in this day and age - I'm not defending that, just stating it as an observation.

For me, I discovered that nice isn't enough. I need intelligent, confident, savvy and strong as well as nice. And while the ex I was talking about was both intelligent and strong for himself, he was too nice to me. I'm not blaming him for the demise of the relationship, far from it - it was more my fault than his. But his attitude played a part. I tested my boundaries with him early on and discovered that there were none. I could do what I liked, and I could get him to do whatever I wanted. That's not healthy for anyone in a relationship.

SeekUp

shellyboo wrote: »

For me, I discovered that nice isn't enough. I need intelligent, confident, savvy and strong as well as nice. And while the ex I was talking about was both intelligent and strong for himself, he was too nice to me. . . . I tested my boundaries with him early on and discovered that there were none. I could do what I liked, and I could get him to do whatever I wanted. That's not healthy for anyone in a relationship.

No, it's not. I just meant what you said a few lines before, that nice can also be more than just nice, and nice doesn't have to equal being wishy-washy.

Keano A Legend wrote: »

Do women who date bad boys, do so as deep down they do not want to settle down and more often that not bad boys tend to never want to settle? So, dating a bad boy will not mean any long term commitments? I could be way off the mark but I once heard that as a reasoning to why women do date bad boys.

That's an interesting idea. Excitement + unpredictability = bad boys = fun and up for a good time.

Nevyn

It's the confusing of dominat with domineering, assertive with abusive and not being a wuss with being a wanker.

'Nice' gets a bad rap cos people seem to assume that nice = push over.

bronte

I have never gone for the bad guy.
I'm much too lazy to 'change' these fellas
Have always been much more attracted to respectful 'gentlemen' types.
Any gobsheenery and you'll be shown the door swiftly.