Scientists say increasing lighting in coppers....

Kukamunga

saw this on FearRua. doesn't bring to light anything we didn't already suspect in fairness...

Link

Scientists say increasing lighting in Coppers by 10% will reduce Irish STI rates by 4,000%

Researchers from the Royal College of Surgeons this morning announced that Ireland could curb a recent increase in sexually transmitted infections by increasing visibility in a prominent Dublin nightspot.

The research team ran a host of rigorously controlled experiments, where the lighting levels in Copper Face Jack’s nightclub were increased by increments of 10%. The results were measured in terms of the resulting behavioural change in people both in the preliminary stages (i.e. kissing on the dancefloor) or final stages (stumbling towards the exit with a secured mate) of STI contraction.

The results showed that a lighting increase of even 10% caused individuals to immediately take a step back, revaluate the aesthetic integrity of the person they were until that point willing to have sex with, and in many cases excuse themselves from the situation.

Men were more likely to use excuses pertaining to “looking for the lads”, whereas women were more likely to excuse themselves on the grounds of needing to use the restroom.

However the scientists were certain that beneath the veneer of these excuses was the realisation for the individuals in question that they were about to get down and literally dirty.

Surprisingly, repeated experiments around different nightspots in Dublin did not yield similar results. The research team trialled their methods in 14 other nightclubs around the capital’s city centre and recorded negligible resultant behaviour changes from increasing lighting levels even as much as 60 or 70%.

When quizzed as to possible causes for the phenomenon only occurring in Coppers, the research team neglected to comment for legal reasons.

jumpguy

That sounds like bad news to me tbh

4zn76tysfajdxp

Those wacky scientists, whatever will they scient next?

Xavi6

If anything the place needs to be made darker

Quazzie

I have a blowtorch that would provide plenty of light and cure all the problems with slapperfacejacks.

wudangclan

Surprisingly, repeated experiments around different nightspots in Dublin did not yield similar results. The research team trialled their methods in 14 other nightclubs around the capital’s city centre and recorded negligible resultant behaviour changes from increasing lighting levels even as much as 60 or 70%.

kinda suggests these results were just an aberration.
no reason not to leave smart comments though.

phasers

By "increasing lighting" they mean "burn it down" right?

AckwelFoley

increasing the lighting there wont do anything about the smell of culchie mingers in there.

Sir Gallagher

Must be a disgruntled pack of geeks trying to stop everyone else getting their hole.

stovelid

Simple:

Increase lighting; increase measures.

Sorted.

Gran Hermano

Meh, firebomb the place and you'd reduce the public sector wage bill massively.

stovelid

It could have some practical worth through: prevent culchies mating and reduce job competition and weekend outbound traffic in the capital in the long-term.

jonsnow

In Galway we called it the Supermacs test.If you were in with a bird but unsure if she was a moonpig a quick trip to the striplighted glory of the eyre square franchise would soon sort it out.

Dr_H_Lecter

knock-on effect on the sheep population?

Keogg

THIS is what scientists have been working on?!

WHERES OUR F*CKING SWINE FLU VACCINE GODDAMNIT??!!!!!:mad::mad:

yurmothrintites

I don't think a 10% increase in lighting is gonna stop Coppers goers from gettng their €5 worth.

Acid_Violet

Was in Coppers for the first time about 2 weeks ago. I swear to gawd, the upstairs was even worse than what I remember Baby-wez was like back in my day......

Pop's Diner

There's an upstairs in Coppers? Anytime I've ever been in there I usually last about three minutes before I come to my senses and think "wtf am I doing here?" before proceeding quickly to the exit.

Ta hell with the tenner I just wasted, not worth staying another second in that hellhole!

barleybooley

snyper wrote: »

increasing the lighting there wont do anything about the smell of culchie mingers in there.

HEY! If there were more adequate match-making drinking holes that yielded a high percentage of sperm donors to bring about a shotgun wedding, don't you think we'd be drinking there?

JimiTime

Keogg wrote: »

THIS is what scientists have been working on?!

WHERES OUR F*CKING SWINE FLU VACCINE GODDAMNIT??!!!!!:mad::mad:

Wouldn't fire bombing Coppers reduce the risk of swine flu?