How can we tell our new flatmate "It's not working out?"

Ciara2008

I really hope someone can help with this.

3 of us (friends) moved in together 6 months ago and signed a year lease. One girl got a job in the UK and was moving out so we advertised her room - we were afraid we would be stuck with the room and no one to pay her share of the rent so the first reply we got we totally facilitated this guy - she even moved out 2 weeks early to make room for him. He seemed really cool - said he would pay her back for the rent she has paid for July etc. All seemed well.

I can't really put my finger on what is wrong but so far everyone that has met him has got a really bad vibe. He's quite rude and we have tried to make conversation and be welcoming but all he's ever interested in is what time we are going out at. He gets home before us and has taken up residency on our couch watching sports programs - which is allowed but he did this on his first night.

My other roommate came home last night and he had his bare feet on the coffee table and made no attempt to not have his bare feet on the coffee table when he walked in.

Then this morning I saw either finger/toenail bits on the floor.

He's rude. I didn't want to be asking him for money the second he walked in the door so i thought i would give him some time to settle in, he's avoided me ever since and made no reference to it or the fact that our friend is out of pocket and moved out so that he could move in 2 weeks early.

(We've since discovered he was in such a hurry to move out because he was staying with his bro and wife and their child - hardly "Urgent")

What do you think? I don't even want to be in the same room as this guy - how am i gonna do this?

RasTa

I'll do it for €20!

geem

Ciara2008 wrote: »

I really hope someone can help with this.

3 of us (friends) moved in together 6 months ago and signed a year lease. One girl got a job in the UK and was moving out so we advertised her room - we were afraid we would be stuck with the room and no one to pay her share of the rent so the first reply we got we totally facilitated this guy - she even moved out 2 weeks early to make room for him. He seemed really cool - said he would pay her back for the rent she has paid for July etc. All seemed well.

I can't really put my finger on what is wrong but so far everyone that has met him has got a really bad vibe. He's quite rude and we have tried to make conversation and be welcoming but all he's ever interested in is what time we are going out at. He gets home before us and has taken up residency on our couch watching sports programs - which is allowed but he did this on his first night.

My other roommate came home last night and he had his bare feet on the coffee table and made no attempt to not have his bare feet on the coffee table when he walked in.

Then this morning I saw either finger/toenail bits on the floor.

He's rude. I didn't want to be asking him for money the second he walked in the door so i thought i would give him some time to settle in, he's avoided me ever since and made no reference to it or the fact that our friend is out of pocket and moved out so that he could move in 2 weeks early.

(We've since discovered he was in such a hurry to move out because he was staying with his bro and wife and their child - hardly "Urgent")

What do you think? I don't even want to be in the same room as this guy - how am i gonna do this?

I think you need to ask him for money he owes, do it with the other flatmates present. Be polite but firm.
Also politely but firmly remind him that common areas are for everyone and that you would all prefer it if he disposed of his toenail clippings in the bin and kept his feet off the coffee table.
Give him a week to see if he improves. Some people are just not aware of how irritiating their habits are to others. He may change.
If he doesn't or gets aggressive etc. Then you need to firmly tell him it's not working and you want him to leave.

smcelhinney

You sound like the kind of person who isn't that confrontational but trust me when I say this, you need to address this now...

Leaving situations like this fester invariably leads to frustrations in other parts of your life, you'll end up letting your annoyance over this incident spill into your work and social life.

I've always been an advocate of keeping work, home and social life separate, unless of course you are living with partner spouse or good friend.

Just let the guy know where he stands, give him a chance to see the error of his ways, but I wouldn't leave it any more than two weeks. The only disadvantage is that he may end up jumping ship and leaving ur friend in the lurch financially.

I hope it goes well, please let us know how you get on.

Stephen

CDfm

Its shared accomadation he is a co-tenant just like you. You lot were friends before you moved in so you probably had your own girly gig going (no offence). Not all houseshares work.

Have you entered into a sharers agreement with him that set down his obligations to pay rent etc. If you havent you can ask him to leave but you might take a loss on the rent.

The TV stuff - lots of people dont ask do you mind if I watch the sports etc so he is just lacking in the social graces but he should clean his toenails up.

A way of doing it might be asking him how he thinks its working out and take it from there. If you do ask him to leave you should agrre a reasonable date and expect to take a hit on the rent and may not get a replacement.