My God Versus Your God

Raiser · 25-07-2009 9:17am #1

Well seeing as the Irish Government Morons supported by our top handbag collector in Aras An Uachtarain have seen fit to make blasphemy a criminal offence punishable by the State - I feel its time for us to all just agree to try and get on with it and accept each others Gods.

Now I accept that your God might be more widely supported than my God or have lots more arms and stuff; but I really think that our God here in Ireland is better at the serious shít like threatening incarceration without possibility of release in Hell and cruelly smiting down disbelievers and stamping on their smoted little corpses.

The God that we have here in Ireland has a really cool book out for the last while where he does stuff that would make David Blaine pull a panicked no-show. He can walk on water or else just turn it into Cabernet Sauvignon *BAM* - He also documents a shít load off stuff about golden cows, throwing people in wells, burning bushes, speaking in tongues - all mad stuff that would seriously make you think twice before getting off your head on LSD.

Although, in my opinion, our God isn't as relaxed about Global terrorism as some of the other hardcore Gods out there. As far as I know, the Irish God isn't really cool with the whole 50 virgins for blowing up innocent people in a cafe deal etc. But then again he has been unflagging in his continued support for the Catholic Churches paedophilia drive over the past number of decades.....

So anyway lets all be open and honest with each other and try to get along, at the end of the day its a personal choice to back the God we have gambled on as the one true God that's going to offers us eternal salvation - and then let the losers burn in hell throughout all the ages.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 25-07-2009 9:19am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O21St4SMs68

TheZohanS · 25-07-2009 10:12am

My God vs Your God.

Caoimhín · 25-07-2009 10:14am

My god will win as he is that Indian Elephant with the 20 arms.

Beat that old beardy man in the sky...

Karl Hungus · 25-07-2009 10:17am

Clearly my god wins.

RandolphEsq · 25-07-2009 10:19am

My god

Poor Uncle Tom · 25-07-2009 10:29am

my god....

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kiffer · 25-07-2009 11:45am

... Today my God is a tsunami of kamakaze kittens and puppies... Which follows the dawn and brings love into peoples hearts.
Each puppy or kitten is slightly smaller than a plank length so you can't see them. Each one is omnipotent, omnicognisant and all that jazz...
They are One God but each one is unique in someway and at any one time there is a huge but non-infinite number of them... They reproduce quickly which is a good thing as in order to do the love bringing they explode inside you, sacrificing themselves forever... Not like that silly Jesus and his "I sacrificed myself for you, only kidding just took a short dirt nap, I'm ok now".

Sometimes a puppy and kitten reproduce and create a non-puppy non-kitten cute baby animal... This rare occurence is what gives rise to many of the incorrect religions in the world... Other people don't interpret the signs correctly and just fill in the blanks... I'm correct and I know I am because I'd know if I was wrong, Puppies and Kittens don't ever deceive (but sometimes can be hard to understand)... I'm claiming divine revilation on this so you can't disagree with me...
(You can add to this... As long as you keep it as an extention rather a rewrite)

25-07-2009 11:48am

kiffer wrote: »

... Today my God is a tsunami of kamakaze kittens and puppies... Which follows the dawn and brings love into peoples hearts.
Each puppy or kitten is slightly smaller than a plank length so you can't see them. Each one is omnipotent, omnicognisant and all that jazz...
They are One God but each one is unique in someway and at any one time there is a huge but non-infinite number of them... They reproduce quickly which is a good thing as in order to do the love bringing they explode inside you, sacrificing themselves forever... Not like that silly Jesus and his "I sacrificed myself for you, only kidding just took a short dirt nap, I'm ok now".

Sometimes a puppy and kitten reproduce and create a non-puppy non-kitten cute baby animal... This rare occurence is what gives rise to many of the incorrect religions in the world... Other people don't interpret the signs correctly and just fill in the blanks... I'm correct and I know I am because I'd know if I was wrong, Puppies and Kittens don't ever deceive (but sometimes can be hard to understand)... I'm claiming divine revilation on this so you can't disagree with me...
(You can add to this... As long as you keep it as an extention rather a rewrite)

i know for a fact that if my local priest said that as his sermon, 95% people would just sit there and think "that's odd" but accept it.