Few Funnies

Rufus.T.Firefly

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.

His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.

When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon.

He looks at her and slurs,


"You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"

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One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want to live anymore.

So she went to the doctor and asked,

''What's the best way to kill yourself?''

The doctor told her,

''Well, shooting yourself in the heart is a fast method.''

She asked him, ''Where's the heart located?''

The doctor said, ''It's three fingers below the nipple.''

Later on, the police and paramedics arrive at her house.

When the paramedic asks what happened, one officer says,

''We found her on the floor with a gunshot wound to the knee.''

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A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register.

The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

"Nope," says the boy, "not for my mom."

The cashier responds, "Well, then they must be for your sister then?"

"Nope," says the boy, "not for my sister, neither."

The cashier is now curious,

"Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who are they for?"

The nine-year-old says, "They're for my little brother.

They say on TV, if you wear one of these, you can swim and ride a bike, and my little brother can't do either of those things."

dara95

the granny one is the best!!

surprisingly it took me a while to get!!!:D:D:D:D:D

karlog

granny, saggy t*ts. oh i get it LOL!!!