Some Funnies

Rufus.T.Firefly

A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

The agent replies,

"I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."

The passenger screams,

"Do you have ANY idea who I am?"

The gate agent grabs her public address microphone,

"May I have your attention, please?

We have a passenger here WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.

If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."

The man grits his teeth,

"Screw you."

She replies,

"I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

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A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.

He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?

In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims:


"Damn, some asshole has my pen!"

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A man was shopping in the men’s department at Bloomingdale’s when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter.

He went up to her and said,

- "Good morning, madam."

She smiled pleasantly and asked

- "And what do you want?"

The man said,

- "What I WANT is to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight,

then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze you,

and then run my hands along your inner thighs and run them up underneath your dress and come to your sweet love hole and lightly finger it

and then simultaneously unbutton your blouse with my teeth and suck on your beautiful tits and then bite your nipples lightly....



...What I NEED is a new tie!"

coldfire1x

Last one was very good

Keep it up....

dh0661

#1 is a classic, I hope I'll get the chance to use it in real life sometime

MickyMoo

Ha Ha, A pen up someones ass