Some Funnies 2

Rufus.T.Firefly

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day, the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer’s new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend’s life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley,
and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward
and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life.

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he could then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yes, there’s a moral!)





"When You’re Hung Like A Horse, You Don’t Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate and Mick sat in the field and unpacked the picnic hamper.

Out came the sandwiches, cakes, vacuum flask, plates, cutlery.

During the whole unpacking procedure, Kate was troubled by an insect constantly buzzing around her face.

Despite many swipes of her hand, the little blighter would not be driven away.

'In the name of God, Mick,' she squealed, 'what is it, a bee?'

'No,' said Mick. 'It's a dum dum fly.

They hang around the back end of cows.'

'What?' screamed Kate.

'Are you trying to say my face is like the back end of a cow?'

'No,' said Mick.

'But you'll have to convince that fly!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Dunphy died and went to heaven where he was greeted by the venerable gentleman at the gates.

'And who are you, my son?' asked the saint.

'Eamonn Dunphy, your holiness.

On earth I was a famous international soccer player,' said the would-be entrant.

'And in your life did you do anything really sinful?' said the holy one.

'Well, only once,' replied Dunphy.

'It was during an international match against England at Wembley.

In the last minute of the game I broke through and scored the winning goal.

However, what no one knew was that I handled the ball before putting it in the net.

So really I cheated.'

'Indeed no,' smiled the saint.

'Not at all.

Sure that wasn't a sin only a wee wee naughty little jape in you go enjoy heaven, my son.'

'Thank you, Saint Peter,' said Dunphy.

'No, no, son,' said the old man,




'I'm not Saint Peter.

I'm Saint Patrick!'

dh0661

Rufus.T.Firefly wrote: »

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he could then lift him out of the pit.

"When You’re Hung Like A Horse, You Don’t Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!"

Bloke joke :eek: - Good though :rolleyes: