Marriage

mickrourke

I said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.'

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I said to my wife, 'Treasure' - I always call her Treasure, she reminds me of something that's just been dug up.

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She was the flabbiest stripper I've ever seen. When she ran off the stage she started her own applause.

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I was in a play on TV once. It was one of those suspense plays. It kept you wondering... what's on the other channels?

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I wouldn't say the house was damp but the kids went to bed with a periscope.

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Ours is a football marriage, we keep waiting for the other one to kick off

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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

staker

the vain stripper wins it for me:D

mickrourke

staker wrote: »

the vain stripper wins it for me:D

So.... you like Flabby Strippers then? Interesting...

Rufus.T.Firefly

The King is back...........
Great to have you here again Mick :P


Hagar will be pleased :rolleyes:

Rufus.T.Firefly

mickrourke wrote: »

So.... you like Flabby Strippers then? Interesting...

I love em....they have a yolk like a Wizard's sleeve :eek:

Rufus.T.Firefly

Rufus.T.Firefly wrote: »

The King is back...........
Great to have you here again Mick :P


Hagar will be pleased :rolleyes:

Arent you new around here?;)

Rufus.T.Firefly

LittleNipper wrote: »

Arent you new around here?;)

Me and Mick served time together on Hagar's Island...He made us tell him Jokes all day and pick his grapes for his home made wine....a cruel man :P


He's probably watching us right now


Don't whip me massa Hagga......here's a few more for ya you're Highness Sir


My Boss asked me for a quick word today.

He wasn't too impressed when I gave him "zoom" and "whoosh".

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Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humour. Period.

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German car manufacturer Audi have today launched their new hydrogen powered 4x4.

Its called the Audi Hindenburg and is expected to give the car industry a massive boom.

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Right I'm going on me holliers tomorrow morning...a week.....keep the laughs coming all you good people

mickrourke

Rufus.T.Firefly wrote: »

Great to have you here again Mick :P


Hagar will be pleased :rolleyes:

Old Man Hagar is easily pleased,
Just read his jokes :P

Rufus.T.Firefly

mickrourke wrote: »

Old Man Hagar is easily pleased,
Just read his jokes :P

He promised me a popcicle for every post

Enright

some good ones there, keep them coming

Hagar

Rufus.T.Firefly wrote: »

The King is back...........
Great to have you here again Mick :P


Hagar will be pleased :rolleyes:

Indeed I am, welcome back Mick. Good to have you around again.

mickorourke wrote:

Old Man Hagar is easily pleased,
Just read his jokes

Yep, that's Mick alright.