There's a badger in my boiler

bronte

Arrrgh that damn banana phone song!

skippy15

Rent a tiger suit...open the door then run at him and scare the hell out him.....:eek:
Place a pad lock on the door....some local kids will want rob whats inside then bam!;)
Invite the mother in law/ cash in the attic(ye I know) people/ local scouts/ :P
Wait till easter invite local kids for a easter egg hunt-:pac:
Tell the ex/ police bag of money found in boiler....:rolleyes:

My vote goes for tiger suit!

This is the funniest overall thread ever on here! Deserves a gold star!:D

Skid

Badger my ass - it's probably Milhouse.

Shacklebolt

How did we go 4 pages before a Simpsons reference cropped up?

Skid

... And how did The Simpsons get rid of the badger in the end ??

I, for one, welcome one new Badger Overlords ...

Soby

haha what a thread

Well it's better than a boil on yer badger!

gerky

This thread hurts my head in oh so many ways,


First of all badgers are not some savage animal that'll tear you limb from limp, they're generally very shy and will usually go out of their way to avoid humans.

They do not have some sort of super lock jaw, I'm not saying I'd want one to bite me but the don't target human ankles legs or any other extremities.
If you want to walk around with twigs down your boots then by all means do it but the only thing it'll do is chafe, incidentally would any of you care to buy a rock to keep tigers away?

If anyone wants to know what to do with a stuck badger.............. Let it out carefully of course and maybe wear a pair of work gloves just to be safe as it may be panicked.

People, a little education of your local flora and fauna can go a long way and hopefully prevent the posting of feckin tunes that melts themselves in to your brain until you slowly start going mad.



badger,badger,badger,badger

The Walsho

I say finish fapping anyway.

brendansmith

http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/10654/dead-woman-gives-birth-in-coffin/

kraggy

Senna wrote: »

FFS, be a man and punch it between the eyes, Chuck Norris style

Stop badgering the witness!

Hmmmm, should be done on that side, need to turn it over to cook evenly through!

antodeco

Your garden looks like the one from Outbreak!

kingtut

It's prob not a real badger - just this guy from the fancy dress thread:

antodeco wrote: »

I was at a fancy dress party last night. I went as a badger. Unfortunatley, I got fair drunk and couldn't find my house keys. Decided to walk for a bit, but it got cold. Hopped over a garden wall and decided to sleep in my neighbours boiler. The door locked behind me though. I'm now stuck in here. What's worse is my neighbour keeps looking in at me and won't let me out. I'm getting concerned as he's walking around the garden putting sticks in his trousers :eek:

stovelid

Whatever you do: do not accidentally walk under a ladder with a pot of white paint on it.

If it were to accidentally fall on you in a striped pattern, the badger could fall in love with you and start doing that french kissing motion up and down your arm.

KTRIC

Put your car keys on a stick and dangle them in front of him. Maybe he'll take them bait and use your car for a swift getaway. When he does call the Gardai and report it stolen.

Seeing as he's a badger he probably doesn't have a full driving licence and they can do him for driving un-accompanied.

Sorted

ZappaFrank

Have you solved the problem yet?

Trust me and i know trust me is a big ask, but the bagder is more affraid of you then you are of it. open the dorr and slowly walk away, he might not leave straight away but he will leave, he won't touch you, trust me!

Gran Hermano

Throw some glue and swan feathers on him, then tell your Polish neighbours you've captured dinner.

truecrippler

Bring it in so yous can tandem-fap.

Zadkiel

You need to lure him out with a woodpecker, they are their favourite food.
If you don't have your own you can most likely borrow one from a neighbour.

Abi

gerky wrote: »

Blah blah ... helpful stuff blah blah..

If the OP wanted helpful stuff he woulda posted over in the animal forum. He clearly fancied an evenings entertainment, and was kind enough to share with us. A quality AH poster will always make sacrifices for the good of the forum, even if it results in hospitalisation and possibly death.

/salutes Url



Go finish your **** son.

nibtrix

stovelid wrote: »

If it were to accidentally fall on you in a striped pattern, the badger could fall in love with you and start doing that french kissing motion up and down your arm.

Ha Ha, Pepe Le Pew FAIL

c - 13

Right op you've bagged the toughest one - all you need now is a rat, a mole and a toad and you'll have...

stovelid

nibtrix wrote: »

Ha Ha, Pepe Le Pew

Amazingly enough, I was cognizant of this analogy when I wrote the post.

gerky

Abigayle wrote: »

If the OP wanted helpful stuff he woulda posted over in the animal forum. He clearly fancied an evenings entertainment, and was kind enough to share with us. A quality AH poster will always make sacrifices for the good of the forum, even if it results in hospitalisation and possibly death.

/salutes Url



Go finish your **** son.

My post was more aimed at the complete rubbish posted as actual replies then the OP's post, for god's sake this is AH I didn't even think it needed to be said to finish fappin.

Fratton Fred

Is a badger boiler some sort of Culchie version of fatal attraction?

kowloon

Forky wrote: »

Somehow, this might help

Aagghh! It's like being rickrolled.

Latchy

Hss this Badger being caught freed yet ?

Do you know anybody with a Staff or a Rottwiler URL .;)

Scrambled egg

Hey Url wasn't it you who found a man is his kitchen recently? Maybe you should lock the doors .:D

jum4

Be very carfeful OP,

I once fell into a bush (slightly pissed) disturbed a badger, he lashed out and with his "paw?" clawed though my jeans, still have the scars on my leg!

laugh

Abigayle wrote: »

Go finish your **** son.

"Ok mommy"

Abi

laugh wrote: »

"Ok mommy"

Who was talking to you?! Now go tidy your room or you're grounded for a week :mad: