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Lerprchauns

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  • 07-08-2009 1:51pm
    #1
    BennyLava
    Closed Accounts Posts: 205 ✭✭


    The Leprechaun is, of course, the only native Irish species of monkey. They have, however, been driven to the brink of extinction, due to the construction work on the Corrib gas line. This is not due to pollution or destruction of habitat, but simply that the workers are **** and kept hitting them with sticks. It is thought, but not confirmed, that Chris DeBurgh may have been involved. Probably was, the bastard.
    The average leprechaun ranges from 3 to 4 feet in height, though exceptions have been well documented (see above). They are easily recognised by their green fur and red tufted beard. They have, however, been known to pass for human children if they shave, and have been spotterd attempting to sing 'The Fields of Athenry' at the side of Grafton Street several times.
    Leprechauns are known also for their love of gold. In modern Ireland, they express this mostly on the LUAS, by pickpocketing. This compulsion is seen in many animals, such as magpies and government officials, but rarely monkeys, and almost never in those capable of making cereal. They are not to be confused with members of the Travelling community, who only pickpocket until they spot a dog to rob. Berie Ahern, former Taoiseach, is renowned for being the only known leprechaun not interested in gold, but rather kickbacks and houses.


Comments

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    #2
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Someone call the men in white coats!


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    #3
    LiNgWiStIkZ
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭LiNgWiStIkZ


    What are these Lerprchauns you speak of?


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    #4
    genericguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,831 ✭✭✭genericguy


    get your coat, and piss off.


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    #5
    bigeasyeah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,290 ✭✭✭bigeasyeah


    Such witty humour.


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    #6
    Carroller16
    Registered Users Posts: 1,606 ✭✭✭Carroller16


    Avg postcount in thread not including me : 504


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    #7
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭kingtut


    genericguy wrote: »
    get your coat, you've pulled.

    fixed :P


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    #8
    Nerin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,523 ✭✭✭✭Nerin


    Yes yes op,but importantly,how do we kill them?


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    #9
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Nerin wrote: »
    Yes yes op,but importantly,how do we kill them?

    How about we the pen and notepad that we will use to teach the OP how to spell? Could knock him out with the notepad and then stab him with the pen!


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    #10
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    umm....


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    #11
    Rabies
    Registered Users Posts: 15,258 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    moved


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    #12
    Sea Sharp
    Registered Users Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭Sea Sharp


    Sounds like an explanation you'd give a bus full of american tourists.


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    #13
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Rabies wrote: »
    moved

    To where :confused: what forum could handle such profound statements about leprachauns?


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    #14
    Rabies
    Registered Users Posts: 15,258 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    kingtut wrote: »
    To where :confused: what forum could handle such profound statements about leprachauns?

    Moved to here.
    Get it out AH before it gets destroyed.

    Now in Humour. Please read the charter regarding jokes you don't find funny.

    /waits for uncle Hagar


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    #15
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Taps foot impatiently...

    <_<

    >_>


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    #16
    Pal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,115 ✭✭✭Pal


    help me out here
    WTF is an OP ?

    Hey Hagar.
    Hows France ?

    haven't been this year (except for a night of passion in Paris which doesn't really count as being in France. it could have been anywhere).

    did Italy instead. Venice rocks.

    did I mention its the weekend and I'm warming up

    Waheyyyyyyyyyyyy


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    #17
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    OP = Original poster.

    France is lovely and warm and sunny. :D


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    #18
    mink_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,454 ✭✭✭mink_man


    absolutely brill!


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    #19
    Pal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,115 ✭✭✭Pal


    Statistically... 9/11 Americans won't get this joke.


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    #20
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Somebody's had too much red bull or something.


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