Are you Fattist?

LadyJ

Zamboni wrote: »

The more people continue to spout 'complex psychological issues' the more people will continue to die of heart disease and diabetes type 2 and other obesity related illness.
Don't judge overweight people but please don't mollycoddle them either.
If you keep focusing the why you will never get to the solution.
Overweight people need support not a get out of jail free card.

Nobody is saying that they need to be mollycoddled. What they do need,(and I'm not talking about people who are a little pudgey out of laziness), like anorexics, is a lot of help and therapy. Food clinics etc.

People seem to find so much more sympathy for people who under-eat as opposed to people who over-eat. It can be almost exactly the same psychological issues at play, just the behaviour is reversed.

Anorexia can also lead to morbid conditions and death and it is a horrible disease, but a disease it is! No one should ignore or "mollycoddle" anorexics or the obese. They need help or they will die. However, there are complex psychological issues at play for both so try to understand that.

Obese people need a slap around the head and someone telling them to "cop the fúck on" as much as an anorexic needs that. They need therapy and a multidiciplinary plan.

Piglet85

No. I know it's human nature, but I would try to refrain from being judgemental about people's appearances as much as possible to be honest, because although you may think you can tell a lot from someone looks, they can definitely be deceiving.

I've been fat (size 16), and I'm a size 12 now, having been one for around three years. I have never been thinner. My diet is generally very good; I rarely eat breat, pasta, rice, potatoes, cakes etc, always have at least 5 fruit and veg a day, and keep junk food such as crisps and chocolate as an occasional treat. I also exercise five days a week, and although I am losing weight gradually at that, if I eat the way my friends and family do for even one day, I gain. I have a friend who eats way more than I do and never gets off her arse, and she's a steady stone and a half lighter than I am.

My point is, to look at us, it seems a lot of the people here would assume that I'm the lazy one, that I don't eat as well as she does or have excessive portions. That's not true, quite the opposite. I have a slow metabolism, she has a fast one. Fair enough, that's something I have to understand about myself, and I do. But I don't think it's reasonable for other people to make assumptions about me, or others, because there are always other factors which you can't tell by looking at someone. Why is it ok to be scornful of fat people when there are plenty of skinny people whose habits are just as bad, only they happen to be 'lucky'?

Having said that, I do hate to see really fat children, because I know that people don't get excessively big without eating too much of the wrong foods and/or having sedentary lifestyles, and if a child lives like this it's not their fault. Puppy fat, though, is a different thing. But as for adults, their size is their business, and the fact that I would probably no longer be perceived as fat by many people does not make me a better person than the one I was before I made the decision to lose weight.

Pace2008

RealEstateKing wrote: »

Fatness is as complicated and difficult to solve as other issues like alcoholism and heroin addiction. Just because ultimately, being overweight is a question of eating more calories than you burn, does not make it a simple thing to change.

Imagine you were talking to an alcohol counsellor and their advice was simply: "What you need to do, is to stop drinking." You'd say "Well duh! If it was as simple as that I wouldnt need to talk to an alcohol consellor to find out how to do it!"
before a wedding or something comparitively easy.

...

Most alcohol/drug addicts are clean within 28 days. Most of us wouldnt even be able to lose a noticable amount of weight in that time.

Likening obesity to alcohol or heroin dependency is a somewhat poor comparison since the latter are physical addictions that will result in serious illness on withdrawal, or even death in the case of alcohol. It's also inaccurate to state that that the addict is free once they're clean as there's also serious psychological addiction at play that can often be more difficult to overcome than the physical aspect. You seem to be treating the issue of substance abuse with the same misunderstanding and offhandedness that others show towards the issue of obesity.

I do agree in part with the rest of what you've said though. Reading back over the thread I think I and others may have been oversimplifying things a bit and come across as callous. Judging by what you've said, I think a better comparison to an obese person than the aforementioned drug addict might be someone who's extremely shy. They know what they have to do to overcome their problem but it's not that easy to just go out and be brash and assertive.

If a person is obese, getting skinny (and remaining so) , is easily one of the hardest things any human being can possibly experience. Far harder, in fact than quitting the booze or smack would be, as those drugs satisfy no normal need in the human body: Food, on the other hand is very difficult to deprive your body of, and if a person is really obese it can take several years to lose the amount of weight needed to be a normal size. Most alcohol/drug addicts are clean within 28 days. Most of us wouldn't even be able to lose a noticeable amount of weight in that time.

Agreed on some of this; not on the highlighted. There is no quick-fix for obesity and if you've got several stone to shed you're in for a long slog. Realistically speaking, you're not going to lose more than two pounds a week and this is if you unerringly stick to a strict diet, something that will take a lot of getting used to for someone who's not in the habit of counting calories and working out macro splits. I guess I can sympathise with someone who doesn't see any visibly noticeable change in body composition after months of hard work, and could understand how they'd despair at the apparent futility of it all and slip back into their self-destructive ways.

However, I don't see hunger alone as being a viable excuse for staying fat. Your body does indeed need food but even on an inadvisable very low calorie diet one's energy needs are provided for by ample stores of fat. Fat people aren't the only ones that have to contend with being hungry - not everyone who's thin is that way because of their prodigious metabolism; many of them make enormous sacrifices to stay the way they are. I'm 5'9 and have an admittedly high BMR of about 3000 calories per day, but this is offset by a freakish appetite. I can eat a wagon-wheel pizza or a chipper and Chinese together, washed down with a few beers, and still feel hungry two hours later. I would happily eat all the time and I reckon I could take in 5000-6000 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time and drink (a probably unhealthy) 10 litres of water a day just to keep somewhat full. I've never been fat , so I won't pretend I know what it's like to be that way or to understand the mentality of fat people, but if someone's overweight purely because they can't show some sacrifice in this regard I think they're fully to blame for their plight.

As you say though, it must be a fairly miserable existence being severely obese so I guess I'd have to show them some sympathy.

Zamboni

Far too many do-gooders on this thread.

I will cheer on the overweight person who becomes proactive and looks after their diet and takes up exercise.

You guys can cheer on the overweight person who sits on the couch with a curry and throws in the 'complex psychological issues' towel.

Goduznt Xzst

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

If you're predisposed to being fat you should be making MORE of an effort to stay slim, not using it as an excuse.

enry wrote: »

TELL THE HIM TO STOP EATING SO MUCH, SIMPLE AS

00sully wrote: »

Its up to everyone to sort it out for themselves and everyone should.

All of you have failed to explain "Why"?

Why is an individuals life choices of any concern to you? Why "should" they get thinner? So what if a person wants to live their life sedentary, relaxed, watching TV, eating fatty foods. Of what concern is it to you.

You call them "lazy"... why is this important. Why is the amount of movement a person does important. Is a person who sits for 3 hours of less worth then a person who runs around in a circle for 3 hours?

We all have destructive habits, or live or work in environments not conducive to a long life. If someone decides to live on a fault line then dies in an Earthquake its a tragedy. If someone decides to overeat and dies of heart disease it's their own fault and they should of known better.

People are different and values and priorities change between individuals. Some people jump out of planes with parachutes, some people eat fast food. We all are searching for what makes us happy in life, regardless of how it might lessen or increase our actual existence.

Pace2008

You wouldn't employ someone who's fat or smokes? What bearing do either of those have on someone's employability?

coconut5

Just going back to what somebody was saying about obesity being similiar to alcoholism or heroin. I don't know about that, but what I do know is that it is really hard for people to change their ways because you can't quit eating in the same way you can stop drinking or taking drugs. You have to eat something every day, and this is why it is so hard for people to get out of the overweight cycle. They have to fill their bodies with something, and suddenly switching from what you like to stuff that takes more effort to prepare and cook, I don't know. I think it's tough. You have to think about it every single day, not just keep away from the stuff.

But yeah, some of the people I saw in the US were just horrendous looking. I think Irish people have a tendency to be a bit overweight, but not in the scarily massive way that the fat people in America were (that I saw anyway).

Dudess

Zamboni wrote: »

Far too many do-gooders on this thread.

No there aren't - you're only assuming there are because you're not reading the posts properly.

You guys can cheer on the overweight person who sits on the couch with a curry and throws in the 'complex psychological issues' towel.

/facepalm

Do read the posts properly.

Zamboni

Dudess wrote: »

No there aren't - you're only assuming there are because you're not reading the posts properly.

/facepalm

Do read the posts properly.

Apologies, I should have been more specific.
Too many misguided, PC, do-gooders on this thread.
I can read quite perfectly but posters here seem to concentrate on the problems and the excuses for people being overweight.
I would rather focus on the means and solutions in which to help people overcome this.
The only attempt I have seen from the other side to address this was a mention of 'food clinics' and therapy.
As this country has neither the expertise nor the resources to provide such services, in the absence of these services I would rather help people to overcome their weight problems through tried and tested means of diet and exercise.
2005 stats from the Obesity Taskforce put 39% of the adult population in Ireland as being overweight.
If anyone here is under the impression that any decent size portion of the figure are people with complex psychological issues and emotional disorders then the country is in a far worse state than I thought.
I don't judge overweight people but I won't sit back and watch people defend obesity through some misguided political correctness.

Dudess

Presume Myers was being an ignorant ****-rag, as ever... Let me guess: "mental illness is all in the head" or other such attention-seeking nonsense.

Zamboni wrote: »

Apologies, I should have been more specific.
Too many misguided, PC, do-gooders on this thread.

Sigh. You don't even know what "PC" and "do-gooder" mean if your examples of same are some of the posts here.

I can read quite perfectly but posters here seem to concentrate on the problems and the excuses for people being overweight.

No, you are clearly not reading the posts properly - or else you're just choosing to interpret them the way you want, so that you can get to be all no-nonsense and call people "do-gooders" and bleat on about "political correctness". Nobody is saying overweight people aren't the ones ultimately who have to lose the weight, nobody is saying overweight people should stay overweight and die early... what they are saying is that in many cases, a person is overweight for reasons more than just consuming too many calories. If you want to get basic about it, well yes, that is the only reason they are overweight, but why they consume too many calories needs to be examined if they are to be able to help themselves. Sure, in many cases it's simply being a fan of too much junkfood, but in many other cases it is more complex than that - so the "just get off your ass and put down the fork" approach is useless to them. What is being advocated here is not the neglecting of obesity - as you seem so keen to tell us is the case - it is the opposite, a tackling of it in a more useful, beneficial way.

I would rather focus on the means and solutions in which to help people overcome this.

... but that to you is "cop on and stop eating crap" whereas those of us who are "do-gooders" or whatever are advocating a far more valuable approach.

The only attempt I have seen from the other side to address this was a mention of 'food clinics' and therapy.

That's just disingenuousness - plenty of people are calling for a more holistic approach to addressing this rather than coming from one narrow angle.

As this country has neither the expertise nor the resources to provide such services, in the absence of these services I would rather help people to overcome their weight problems through tried and tested means of diet and exercise.

And there you go - missing the point. Do you not think overweight people with psychological issues when it comes to food don't know they need to eat healthily and exercise? Yet they're not managing to do it. Now some people just don't bother, but I'm not talking about those - I'm talking about those who try but who just find it too much of a struggle and need to get things sorted in their heads before they can tackle this obstacle which is a huge one for them.

2005 stats from the Obesity Taskforce put 39% of the adult population in Ireland as being overweight.
If anyone here is under the impression that any decent size portion of the figure are people with complex psychological issues and emotional disorders then the country is in a far worse state than I thought.

Why wouldn't that be the case with a decent portion? Just because it doesn't suit your argument? I'm very confident that is the case - I really can't see why it wouldn't be.

I don't judge overweight people but I won't sit back and watch people defend obesity through some misguided political correctness.

Oh now you're scraping the bottom of the barrel - who the **** is defending obesity? And no, people aren't more understanding of the difficulties an obese person has just for the sake of being "politically correct"... :rolleyes:
Political correctness is a system of ensuring nobody is offended yet I would say the following: obesity is dreadfully unhealthy, it's unattractive (generally speaking), fat women are not "curvy", fat people who are unhappy about their weight should not simply "accept themselves" - they should go down whatever avenues they can to lose the weight healthily (I'm not including surgery or fad diets), obesity is celebrated in some quarters - it shouldn't be.

starflake

I was obese 16 months ago 20 stone 5 at 5 foot 6! I'm now 4 stone lighter. I've lost 20% of my body weight in 16 months and still have another 6 stone to go! people still look at me like I'm **** even though I eat really well, exercise more now than i was physically able to do last year.

All I can say is there's nothing more soul destroying than looking into strangers faces knowing that they're disgusted by you.

Reading these posts and thinking if certain posters here saw me on the street ye would be disgusted by me.

I've put my heart and soul into losing weight the last year and I'm doing it.. but I firmly believe that only people who have been as obese as I was/am can know the pain felt knowing that you're disgusting to society. If it was as easy as just eating less I would have done it years ago. but it's not. I have never known anything but disordered eating. Never. when i was a child i ate too much, when I was a teenager there was other problems... As a young adult I ate too much. Now that's gone... My whole way of thinking about food has had to change. My life has had to change.. I still disgust myself... and others... all I'm saying is give us a break eh?!

We know we're disgusting, we know we're unhealthy, we hate ourselves... but hearing that reenforced by others is really just adding insult to injury...

My aim is to be half my original body weight on my 25th birthday... i'm proud of myself I really am, I'm just afraid that when all this fat and stuff is gone... I will still feel the same underneath... I can be as brave and gutsy as hell and lose weight week by week but.... if I still feel the same shame and disgust at myself then... i don't know if I can be brave if I'm faced with that...

Just try sticking your feet in the other sides shoes... look at it from both sides... nothing is that simple guys.

Zamboni

starflake wrote: »

I was obese 16 months ago 20 stone 5 at 5 foot 6! I'm now 4 stone lighter. I've lost 20% of my body weight in 16 months and still have another 6 stone to go!

That is awesome progress starflake.
Ignore people that give you looks. They're idiots.
You may not have all your issues resolved from the weight loss but being in good shape can have an extremely positive mental effect on your outlook which I am sure will help you tremendously.

starflake

Thank you Zamboni... here's hoping! It just goes to show that being obese damages your physical health but it can damage your mental health more... Thanks again

herya

Deleted User wrote: »

Lets be honest here... if people avoided fast food and eating late at nights most of them wouldn't have weight issues.

While I agree with you in general (and specifically about junk food role) I believe that the "eating late=overweight" myth has been debunked? Calorie intake is calorie intake after all and you still burn sleeping.

Handsome Bob

MrEko wrote: »

Yes, without any shame either. Whenever I see an already large kid walk (or waddle) around with an ice cream in its hand I get the urge to take it off him and just tell him 'No!'.

People who say 'Its not his/her fault' or 'They cant help be who they are' are just kidding themselves.

Well if he's a kid, I wouldn't say it's his fault, since it would most likely be the parents that are fostering the lifestyle in him.

RealEstateKing wrote: »

There seems to be a never-ending stream of people on boards with this sort of "Boo-hoo you're breaking my heart" , "Sort yourself out" "Take responsibility for yourself" attitude to overweight people.

Though they are correct in that any overweight person is ultimately responsible for their own fatness, there is a simplification to their thinking that misses the issue. Fatness is as complicated and difficult to solve as other issues like alcoholism and heroin addiction. Just because ultimately, being overweight is a question of eating more calories than you burn, does not make it a simple thing to change.

Imagine you were talking to an alcohol counsellor and their advice was simply: "What you need to do, is to stop drinking." You'd say "Well duh! If it was as simple as that I wouldnt need to talk to an alcohol consellor to find out how to do it!"

Of course losing weight is simply a question of eating less calories than you burn. Its how one gets into the headspace to do that that is the question. There are any number of psychological reasons that make people more likely to be over-eaters, in much the same way (and often in the same people) as there are in alcoholics and/or drug users.

There are a myriad of feelings of emptiness/depression and anxiety that the person is medicating with food in many cases. This bone-headed "Just pull-your-socks-up" attitude does not help to deal with the fundamental issue - unless we're talking about somebody who just needs to drop a dress size before a wedding or something comparitively easy.

If a person is obese, getting skinny (and remaining so) , is easily one of the hardest things any human being can possibly experience. Far harder, in fact than quitting the booze or smack would be, as those drugs satisfy no normal need in the human body: Food, on the other hand is very difficult to deprive your body of, and if a person is really obese it can take several years to lose the amount of weight needed to be a normal size. Most alcohol/drug addicts are clean within 28 days. Most of us wouldnt even be able to lose a noticable amount of weight in that time.


As well as this there ARE differences in the way different human bodies deal with energy consumption. While these differences do not explain every pound in difference between people, they are a general tendency in the same way that some people pick up musical instruments easily where others might struggle for years to learn to play a chord.

I have several friends who are rake thin, do no exercise and drink 3 or 4 pints every night - Where I myself am always potentially overweight: I cycle at least 1 and a half hours every day, and do 5 or 6 hours on both days at the weekend, and have to deny myself food that I badly want most of the rest of the time, to remain at a normalish weight. My friend desperately wants to be bulkier, and has at times even resorted to stuffing himself with more food than he wants and doing no exercise for a few weeks to bulk up, and it doesnt work. We often joke about how his metabolism mixed with mine would create the perfect guy.

Further to this, as well, is that of all the addictions/psychological illnesses that a person can suffer from, obesity must be the one that garners the least sympathy. All reasonably educated people have an enlightened attitude to alcoholism now, we see it as a disease, and those that struggle with it as deserving of our sympathy and our support. We know that there is a whole complex of psychological, physical, historical and possibly genetic factors that go into making a person an alcoholic. But for some reason, some of us do not extend this thinking to the issue of obesity.

And to add insult to injury: As well as being physically handicapping, obesity can actually destroy a person's personal life: One of my friends is obese. They are still a virgin at 32 and likely to remain so, forever. Nobody is ever likely to want a sexual relationship with this person as a result of his weight. Were he an alco or a junkie he'd actually be better off in this regard. Hell he could be a sexy wasted youth like Pete Doherty with Kate Moss on his arm.

As a result of this, I have every sympathy for those who struggle with their weight and particularly those who are obese. Its a ****in' toughie and there's no easy way around it. I in no way condone of course, those who suggest 'Fat Pride' or any of that, and I am fattist in the sense that I too would never sleep with an obese person. But I absolutely respect them for the struggle they deal with every day, that many skinny people simply dont know about or understand.

Spot on, probably the best post I've read in regards to weight issues on Boards.

Look, I used to be 16 stone at a relatively small height. Fat all my life as far as can remember. What this guy above me says is absolutely spot on, you have no idea have much it takes to mentally get yourself in the zone for losing weight. You are looking at yourself in the mirror and you can't see the end of the road, so it takes a significant amount of mental strength to get active, and stay active.

Am I a fattist? No, and I'll never will be. I pity fat people because I know what it's like to be in their shoes. Anyone who thinks a fat person is happy the way they are needs to wake up. I hated myself for so long but I couldn't bring myself to get out to the gym because I was too ashamed of myself. I used to get abuse yelled at me just walking on the street, so I would be absolutely terrified to even try to go on a run. Just imagine the abuse I would have got then. The gym is the same, full of snobby idiots sniggering at the fat guy struggling on the machines.

I remember talking to a girl about her weight issues (she knew I had lost the weight so felt she could confide in me). She told me that she would get constant abuse on the street from kids and adults. It got to the point where she would just put on her Ipod at full blast, just so she could drown out the abuse. That's absolutely heartbreaking to me, what gives any of you the right to make someone feel like that? You all have your vices, so get off your high horse.

lizzyvera

I know a lot of fat girls. A good friend of mine has a thing for fat girls, and fat girls tend to hang out with other fat girls so my fat girl pool of contacts is quite large. Maybe they have emotional issues but they are all gluttons and they don't do enough exercise. Sometimes you have to get past your emotions and do the sensible thing.

Perhaps there should be free counselling in colleges and schools for fat people to help them lose weight. It would probably pay off in the long run.

SLUSK

At what point is it proven dangerous to be fat? People are way fatter now than in the 50ies and 60ies yet the average life expectancy is longer. If someone else is fat it is none of your business. Leave us fatties to our hedonistic ways of living.

jumpguy

I do find that when I see a fat teen I'm rather fattist. Ironic considering I was a fat child when I was around 10/11/12. When I see a fat middle-aged man though I'm not.

At what point is it proven dangerous to be fat? Well, heart disease is the biggest risk factor. Lots of other things come to mind, it's been found that it increases your risk of developing dementia too (correct me if I'm wrong, anyone).

I.J.

Zascar wrote: »

I was told that I was "Fattist" the other day by a friend, and I have to say I can't really deny it. It may not be very PC but its something I've got little sympathy for. Met a girl a few weeks ago who was a fitness instructor and specialised in weight loss. She told me all this Genetic Predisposition stuff is all rubbish, 99.9% is bad diet and not enough exercise. She said loads of her clients loose loads of weight but few keep it off. It's just a lifestyle thing.

It may be hard for some, but ultimately everyone has control over their own weight - so really you cannot pass the blame. If you really want to do it, it can be done. I on the other hand am quite short, but there is not a dam thing I can do to make myself taller (without ridiculous surgery)

Statistics show that if you child is overweight by the age of 5, it has an 80% chance of having weight problems for the rest of its life. Many countries around the world are in pandemic states with health problems due to so many people being massively overweight. Being all PC and defending obese people is not the way to fixing the problem

Psychological issues tend to be over looked an awful lot. It is found that some people who suffer from depression can often fall into a lifestyle which leads to them being overweight. So much is the paralysis of their depression that even greater difficulty is put on them from losing weight. This is only one vague example of why some people are overweight and need our support and not to be put down and discouraged as this reaction may only make mattes worse.

stovelid

Nope.

My view of what constitutes an attractive body is pretty wide and would contravene the accepted norm for many guys. That's from what would be termed plump to skinny. All depends on the person.

I don't find a awful lot of weight or obesity attractive though.

That said: I don't like cruelty. The stop eating cakes view. We should probably reserve the same sympathy for obese people that we do for people with more 'quantifiable' body issues.

midlandsmissus

I know this is really kind of bad, but it's the truth and I'm going to admit it:

My boyfriend put on loads of weight recently and it just really put me off him. There is nothing attractive about a big fat belly wobbling towards you.

I know it sounds shallow, and you should love someone despite their weight, but you also have a right to be attracted to your partner, shouldn't you?

I keep in shape and so should he. I know it would be so cruel to say 'Ive gone off you because of your weight' but that's the truth. I'm trying to encourage him to do more sport, so we'll see how that goes.

Fat is just not attractive, and its just so lazy. Im sure some people cant help it,but alot of it is caused by laziness.

cufroige

I googled "Eating Disorder / Distress" in order to gather some research and followed a search result link to this page.

I have to say I am shocked at the level of pure ignorance from some of you posters. What a bunch of haters. Nobody can know what is going on in the interior life of a person. You are you to deem yourself worthy of becoming judge & jury?

I am horrified to think that I or somebody I love could be subject to such narrow minded judgement...are you all perfect because you are not fat? What if you're just an arsehole? Do you think that ugly mindset you carry around is acceptable or invisible because you have your body "in check"?

Do you think any obese person is unaware of 1) their condition & 2) how to reverse it? Do you honestly think that information is unknown to anyone with half a brain? I am just so offended.

You have no idea the impact life can have on certain people. Some of these human beings you label "lazy" & "Gluttonous" are surviving things you may be lucky enough never to experience. How dare anybody else hate on them. You know nothing about them.

I have no tolerance for this attitude, not just toward people with "socially unacceptable" appearances but haters in general. Easy to be a hater behind the safety of your keyboard.

And as for the poster who commented on the "FAT KID" with ice cream scenario....you should be ashamed of yourself.

Educate yourselves....don't assume...have a heart for Christs sake!!

http://www.marinotherapycentre.com/sites/default/pdfs/MTC_Research.pdf

Here are some snippets...

Eating Disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge-Eating Disorder and
Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified are labels listed in psychiatric manuals
defining a person’s behaviour. Different types very often overlap and even the top
experts agree that it is difficult to make a clear diagnosis. But all of these labels are
only the symptoms of the condition known as Eating Distress (ED).

Eating Distress is a condition where the mind culminates all of the negative
assumptions the person has about him or herself. The negative mind becomes
more powerful than the positive mind and has much more influence on the
person’s thinking, feeling and behaviour. This state of mind develops
subconsciously and the person is not always aware that they are victims of this
negative condition.
Being overweight in our society means being unaccepted and lazy; someone who
doesn’t have will power or self discipline; and a weak individual. We still have a “pull
yourself together” attitude. People are often told to ‘just go on a diet’. This
suggestion is emotionally devastating to a person suffering from Emotional Overeating
in exactly the same way as ‘just eat’ impacts a person suffering from Anorexia.

It is heart-wrenching to listen that being obese causes absolute misery. It ruins
people’s lives, it occupies all their energy and it is a major hazard to emotional well-
being. The message to eat less and exercise more is a typical approach taken in
dealing with the chronically overweight. Little is taken into account of their mental
approach to losing weight and keeping it off. Most sufferers know all the theories
connected with weight loss. They are the best dieters in the world, they just do not
know how to manage their body and their emotional connection. People with weight
problems use their body as an emotional punching bag; as a coping mechanism for life
situations.
FACT
It’s the result of a very complex set of experiences in the supersensitive
person’s life.
MYTH
Sufferers should just pull themselves together.
FACT
They cannot do so without help.

Rev Hellfire

You have to laugh really. Let’s be honest here while there are undoubtedly some individuals for whom their obesity is linked to a real physical or psychological problem; for the vast majority it’s simply laziness plain and simple.

The thing is you’ll always have some people who don’t want to say ‘nasty’ things like the truth to people incase they boo hoo; but the more acceptable its made the worse the situation will become.

There was a time when to be a glutton was a thing to be ashamed of and something you would attempt to rectify; whereas for some now its badge of pride something which makes them just a little bit special; because you see its not them, its this ‘condition’ they have.

If the obese are made are made uncomfortable rather than molly codelled they might be more inclined to do something about it and others would be less inclined to let their weight reach such level in the first place.

Dudess

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I know this is really kind of bad, but it's the truth and I'm going to admit it:

My boyfriend put on loads of weight recently and it just really put me off him. There is nothing attractive about a big fat belly wobbling towards you.

I know it sounds shallow, and you should love someone despite their weight, but you also have a right to be attracted to your partner, shouldn't you?

I keep in shape and so should he. I know it would be so cruel to say 'Ive gone off you because of your weight' but that's the truth. I'm trying to encourage him to do more sport, so we'll see how that goes.

Fat is just not attractive, and its just so lazy. Im sure some people cant help it,but alot of it is caused by laziness.

There is nothing wrong with any of what you say - it's not even fattist.
Thinking overweight people are responsible for their obesity is not fattist either. What's fattist is having nothing to do with a person/bullying them purely because of their weight.

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

You have to laugh really. Let’s be honest here while there are undoubtedly some individuals for whom their obesity is linked to a real physical or psychological problem; for the vast majority it’s simply laziness plain and simple.

The thing is you’ll always have some people who don’t want to say ‘nasty’ things like the truth to people incase they boo hoo; but the more acceptable its made the worse the situation will become.

There was a time when to be a glutton was a thing to be ashamed of and something you would attempt to rectify; whereas for some now its badge of pride something which makes them just a little bit special; because you see its not them, its this ‘condition’ they have.

If the obese are made are made uncomfortable rather than molly codelled they might be more inclined to do something about it and others would be less inclined to let their weight reach such level in the first place.

I love how appealing for an approach which combines both telling it as it is to overweight people, while at the same time being encouraging and sensitive to what might be going on in their heads... is mollycoddling them.
Yelling "get off your arse fatty" is the wrong approach.
"They can't help it, they've emotional issues" is also the wrong approach.
What the "do-gooders" here are advocating is an approach from somewhere in the middle... but of course there'll always be someone who'll skirt over that and just get straight to the "LOL you're so PC" style crap.

seahorse wrote: »

I agreed with some portions of the post I've copied this from, but as for this particular comment, I'm sorry but it is just plain nonsense. The difference between having issues putting down the burgers and putting down the heroin needle is too vast to measure, and making a direct comparison between the two is an absolute joke.

Hey SH, where ya been?!
I agree obesity won't cause the same horror as heroin dependency, of course, but I think the analogy was simply being used for the sake of illustrating: food can be highly, highly addictive. And obesity can make life miserable.

seahorse

Dudess wrote: »

Hey SH, where ya been?!

Oh I float in now and again, it's nice to know I've been missed!

Dudess wrote: »

I agree obesity won't cause the same horror as heroin dependency, of course, but I think the analogy was simply being used for the sake of illustrating: food can be highly, highly addictive. And obesity can make life miserable.

Yes I know food can be addictive Dudess. It has been proven that the sugar and carbohydrate rush from certain foods provides a high to which some people are more susceptible than others. In my experience of life though, people don’t look at the alcoholic downing their twentieth pint at the bar or the junkie begging for change for the next fix and feel any range of emotional response that doesn’t include disgust.

I once worked with a girl who was at least eighteen or nineteen stone, probably heavier, and she was around five foot three. She’d arrive to work a little early in the mornings with several different types of fizzy drinks in 500ml bottles and a wide variety of crisps, sweets and biscuits. These would be drank and eaten before 9.30, when we began work.

At lunchtime she’d head around to the local convenience store and arrive back with half a dozen different types of fat laden pastries like sausage rolls, battered burgers and Cornish pastries. She’d eat them in such a ferocious rush she’d practically throw them down her throat and then she’d wash them down with yet more bottles of fizzy drinks. Sometimes she’d buy spicy chicken wings and when she did she’d chomp her way through them with such rampant enthusiasm that she’d take no notice of the orange grease spreading all over her face.

Now, I’m not a cruel-minded person and I don’t go out of my way to find fault with people, but watching her gorge herself like that was, in a word, disgusting. Come five am she’d heave her enormous arse up onto a bicycle and cycle the five minutes home and I suppose that was designed to minimise the damaging way she was treating her body every day. Needless to say she was wasting her time because she was probably burning about twenty of the thousands of calories she’d consumed before she’d even had her dinner each day. She was morbidly obese but also her hair was continually lank and damp with grease and her skin was a real mess, red and inflamed but also dry and flaking in places and usually she’d have a number of large angry looking spots. The way she treated her body was an awful thing to watch.

Watching people overindulge in anything till the point where it’s clearly killing them is bound to provoke negative feelings. It’s an understandable and natural human response. Treating a person badly because of how badly they’re treating themselves is a whole other issue though, and I think that is the line where natural revulsion and ‘fattism’ exists.

Emme

I'm proud to be a fattist. I was a chubby child and got bullied for it in primary school and secondary school. I lost 2 stone when I was 14 and have battled to keep it off since. When I look back at old photos I was skinny compared to a lot of today's kids but I felt fat at the time and people used to comment all the time "what a big girl!" because I was tall as well.

My dad's side of the family is genetically disposed to be heavy but I never accepted that as an excuse for me to be heavy. My mum's side are athletic types and I "decided" to take after them. I exercise and eat as well as I can and am in good shape today. Fat people annoy me so much - it really bugs me when a fat person is walking down the street really slowly stuffing his or her face and holding everyone else up. And no matter what they wear they look disgusting.

Illness is no excuse either in a lot of cases. I had an undiagnosed underactive thyroid for years and was knackered with it. People usually put on a lot of weight with this. I put on a little weight but still managed to remain just inside the upper end of the healthy BMI range but it nearly killed me! I'm on treatment now and losing the extra weight, getting down to a BMI of around 21 or 22.

There's nothing wrong with being fattist, it could save your life. Being overweight is bad for your health. In France if someone is putting on weight they'll be told they're getting heavy because being overweight is socially unacceptable over there. Unlike here. I notice that once women get to around 35 they seem to think it's inevitable that they will get fat - they give up, let themselves go and give all women over 35 a bad name. Have some pride and stay in shape, there's no excuse for being fat and lazy! And if you're putting on weight and can't lose it no matter what you do have your thyroid checked.

miec

Wow, I am stunned by the ferocity that people have towards fat and obese people. Am I fattist, no way, I don't feel the intense annoyance, hatred or disgust that other posters feel here.

When I see a person who is vastly overweight I can guess that they feel enough self disgust and emotional turmoil without anyone else adding to it. Even a few posters here who were overweight have talked about the hell it has been for them.

What I cannot understand is how a person can go up to 20, 30, 40, or even 50 stone and I have often wondered is more than just greed. I can have my binge days, but I cannot physically eat over a certain amount, and I cannot understand how some people can drink litres of fizzy drinks in a day, or fatty foods, etc. There has to be another reason that some people get so big. Does everybody's stomach expand in the same way? I don't know. I don't know if it is so cut and dried that the more you eat the fatter you get. Also the richer a nation is, the fatter they get, back in the 80s here in Ireland there wasn't as many fat people because there was far fewer take away outlets, people had less money, not as many people had cars and we were poorer. There seems to me a direct link between wealth and rising obesity levels.

I personally believe that no one likes being fat and I do feel there are psychological issues tied up with it. I think some of the attitudes here suck in regards to overweight people, ostracizing or verbally abusing someone because they are fat is cruel but also counter productive because they will most likely use food as a form of emotional support so abusing someone to lose weight will drive them towards food even more.

Emme

miec wrote: »

I personally believe that no one likes being fat and I do feel there are psychological issues tied up with it. I think some of the attitudes here suck in regards to overweight people, ostracizing or verbally abusing someone because they are fat is cruel but also counter productive because they will most likely use food as a form of emotional support so abusing someone to lose weight will drive them towards food even more.

Rubbish! I got bullied in secondary school when I was fat and I didn't run crying into a corner to stuff my face, I got off my backside, stopped eating crap, started taking sport more seriously, lost the weight and won a load of medals for running on sports day - it was a great feeling passing out some of the bullies on the running track!

Inside every fat person there's a load of excuses for the state they're in.

metrovelvet

I didnt think I was. But then I saw a fat kid in the playground and I thought to myself "God I don't know what I would do if my kid were the fat kid in school. "

Emme

metrovelvet wrote: »

I didnt think I was. But then I saw a fat kid in the playground and I thought to myself "God I don't know what I would do if my kid were the fat kid in school. "

I've been the fat kid and it was hell. I developed early in primary school, had boobs when nobody else had them and that wasn't nice. Then I went to a co-ed boarding school where the lads used to spit at me because I was fat and ugly. One of the girls took a photo of me in the shower and circulated it around the lads. Things got really bad after that. There were two choices - eat and get even more hassle or lose the weight. I chose the latter.

If your child is fat take him or her to a doctor or dietician and start an exercise programme. The earlier a child starts a good eating and exercise programme the sooner it becomes habit. BTW, there's no point in imposing that on your child if you don't do it yourself - fat parents are more likely to have fat children.