telling families

loismustdie

hi, am 11 weeks pregnant and we already hav a 2 and a half year old. we hav been tryin for this baby for a while but didn't tell anyone because we didn't want the families constantly thinkin and wonderin, if you know what i mean. however the time is comin to let our parents and families in on our little secret but to be honest im dreadin it because they'l make a fuss and be all excited and although im excited too im not great at expressin myself to my family and they can be quiet annoyin about things. i feel very mean sayin this, they are great but was wondering if anyone elso has found themself in a similar position. i think im a bit narky at the moment anyway but i don't really like bein centre of attention and fussed about. does anyone elso ever feel the same?

Neverwhere

yep...i get ya. I had to tell my parents, but i let them tell the extended family. I told a few strategic friends...who went on to spread the news so I didn't have to.

If your that worried about, why not tell them over the phone?

loismustdie

i should hav added i live very close to them and see them bout 3 times a week they'd think me very rude if i did it over the phone and they'd be offended, i really think i hav to just tell them face to face, they can be a bit queer in their ways glad to know im not alone

Birdie086

Do you have an early scan coming up?? I fso you could wait till have said picture and bring it with you when you pop round to break the news. Make a big deal of the pic and let them focus on that rather than you. Good luck by they way.

loismustdie

i should hav added i live very close to them and see them bout 3 times a week they'd think me very rude if i did it over the phone and they'd be offended, i really think i hav to just tell them face to face, they can be a bit queer in their ways glad to know im not alone

loismustdie

birdie that is a fantastic idea, i just had one this mornin wen i found out it was 11 weeks (i was unsure if it was 11 weeks or 7 weeks) but he didn't giv me a picture im fairly sure he wouldnt hav it saved on his computer he could print off, also id say he's a bit too busy to hav me knockin on his door lookin for a photo tbh i feel like just hibernatin for the next 6 months which is so silly considerin how happy i am to be havin a baby, blah hormones

ebmma

13 weeks gone, family has no idea

loismustdie

when are you gonna tell them? my parents and i are so different, i was so geared up to tell them yesterday but then a million things happened that made me not want to talk to them anymore and i made exuses and left, the thing is they'r lovely but it's not a very happy house and once ya spend a few minutes there the athmosphere brings ya down but that's a whole other thread for a different forum. i think the horrible pregnancy hormones don't help. so why haven't you told them? what do you think will be their reaction?

my parents are always gettin on at me for bein too thin but the last few weeks haven't said anything, it's yucky how quick it's happenin this time, last time people didn't even know i was pregnant unless i told them dependin on what i wasa wearin so maybe they already know

ebmma

loismustdie wrote: »

when are you gonna tell them? my parents and i are so different, i was so geared up to tell them yesterday but then a million things happened that made me not want to talk to them anymore and i made exuses and left, the thing is they'r lovely but it's not a very happy house and once ya spend a few minutes there the athmosphere brings ya down but that's a whole other thread for a different forum. i think the horrible pregnancy hormones don't help. so why haven't you told them? what do you think will be their reaction?

my parents are always gettin on at me for bein too thin but the last few weeks haven't said anything, it's yucky how quick it's happenin this time, last time people didn't even know i was pregnant unless i told them dependin on what i wasa wearin so maybe they already know

I'm probably not going to be much use giving advice on this - I'm not on speaking terms with my parents (as you said - a topic for another thread). So I'm not even planning to tell them really. But my OH's family is lovely, so I will tell them in a few weeks time.
I think it's fair enough not to tell until 12-14 weeks (in case smth bad happens, you know).

Hope you work it out for yourself...

Birdie086

loismustdie wrote: »

when are you gonna tell them? my parents and i are so different, i was so geared up to tell them yesterday but then a million things happened that made me not want to talk to them anymore and i made exuses and left, the thing is they'r lovely but it's not a very happy house and once ya spend a few minutes there the athmosphere brings ya down but that's a whole other thread for a different forum. i think the horrible pregnancy hormones don't help. so why haven't you told them? what do you think will be their reaction?

my parents are always gettin on at me for bein too thin but the last few weeks haven't said anything, it's yucky how quick it's happenin this time, last time people didn't even know i was pregnant unless i told them dependin on what i wasa wearin so maybe they already know

Pity your parents household isn't a happy one, hard enough to sope with the hormones without outside things bringing ya down. Shame about the pic it would have been a great decoy!!!
About your bump, apparently your increases mush faster on second babies onwards, not in every case though. I had a collegue in work who was showing at siix weeks on her second!!!! Human body is a crazy thing alright!!! I'll be keeping an eye here to see how you get on.
Good luck

loismustdie

well everybody, the bullet has been bitten won't go into detail but it's done now so weight lifted. ebmma sorry to hear you'r not on speakin terms with your family, im not been nosy but just an invitation to say if you did wanna talk bout it this wouldnt be a bad thread to vent on, the title suits, but whatever makes you happy x

Neverwhere

Glad it was done, and hopefully not too painfully!

A little late in replying...but I can identify with the million things going on and it not being the happiest of homes. My family to a T! The day I told my family they had got a 1 month eviction notice from the landlord (he decided to sell the house) 20 minutes before. Glad you were able to get it over and done with! Releif!

shenanigans1982

I had been dreading doing this for ages, although I have a good relationship with my parents I never really tell them much. I don't even know why I was so worried about it...I have been with my OH for over eight years and we are both in our mid-lates twenties so I wasn't expecting their reaction to be negative about it but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

This went on for weeks even getting to the point where I was losing sleep over it. Eventually I decided on a day I was going to tell them but the next time I visited my parents my mam said that she "would be dead before she got any grandkids" from me, giving me the perfect opportunity to mention it. Both were delighted and made all my worrying seem really stupid.

Birdie086

Glad you got it over with, and glad you feel a weight has been lifted.

Das Kitty

Glad you got it done OP, telling certain members of my family was really difficult. Had to bite the bullet eventually, felt much better when it was done.

pennies

Hi all, I`m almost 10 weeks and I am dying to tell my family at the moment but I was hoping to wait until I had our first scan not for another 5 weeks but I think it would bea little selfish to keep the news till then. It will be first granchild on my side and I know my mam and dad will be over the moon. On my husbands side it will be second granchild and it is a comletely different household to my home. I know they will all be happy for us but my husbands brother and wife are both nearly 40, married 5 years and have no kids so I will feel a little bad for them incase they are having problems because I know they would both love kids and make great parents. My husbands birthday is next weekend so I think we`ll plan to spill the beans then

Dublin_Gunner

In the same boat here. My other half is a bit further gone though, about 17 weeks, and we still haven't told anyone!

I was considering getting a copy of the scan photo, putting it into a card to the grandparents and some text "Hello Nana & Grandad, I just wanted to say that I can't wait until I come to see you!" or something similar!

Might be a jovial way out of the anxious wait to tell people!

gowayouttadat

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

In the same boat here. My other half is a bit further gone though, about 17 weeks, and we still haven't told anyone!

I was considering getting a copy of the scan photo, putting it into a card to the grandparents and some text "Hello Nana & Grandad, I just wanted to say that I can't wait until I come to see you!" or something similar!

Might be a jovial way out of the anxious wait to tell people!

I think that's a brilliant idea!

I actually wish I'd done something like that but I was so anxious about telling them I did it before the first scan because I thought I was going to burst otherwise

Dublin_Gunner

gowayouttadat wrote: »

I think that's a brilliant idea!

I actually wish I'd done something like that but I was so anxious about telling them I did it before the first scan because I thought I was going to burst otherwise

Ah sure however you tell them, its going to be the same result!

The main thing is that everyone that you want to knows, when you want them to know, and everyone is happy

loismustdie

aw pennies i really know how you feel, my sis miscarried last year and got pg again, was due in april but we waited til her baba was born the begining of april to try and were lucky to get pregnant nearly immediately. now my family hav pointed out to me how upset my brother will be as he and his wife hav been tryin for some time but to be honest i don't think you can put your life on hold even for beloved family. they will be happy for you or at least the should be even if they are longin for their own family they will be blessed with a niece.nephew so i hope you aren't allowing your worries to take away from your joy