dreaming of an ex - 9yrs later

ledsking

as the title says, i have been dreaming of an ex of mine for the past 2 nights. my wife is at her mothers for the week as she is unwell, and now I am wondering why I am having thes dreams. We broke up 9 years ago. it did end badly bur thats another story. in the dreams - we are still together and happy and I wake up confused. I have not had any dreams about her in years and think it might be because my wife is away?
anyone have any similar experiences?

Ta..

Elevelyn

Last week i had a dream about my first ever serious bf, broke up over 6 years ago, the dream was weird but we were together and really happy. I was freaking out when i woke up because the dream was so vivid but realised that i had been talking to someone about Spain (we lived there together for 6 months) and im guessing that was why i had the dream about the ex.

Not really the same thing but the littlest things can make freaky dreams

Ashlinggnilsia

Ya i sorta agree with what the person above is saying.... i personally dont think dreams mean anything i think if you think about it the majority of things your dream about may include something you saw that day on tv or just walking around and somehow is in your dreams, even stupid little things that at the time seemed almost insignificant when you saw or spoke about it but then it end up in a dream..... i wouldnt worry about it... I think if you start worrying about all the dreams you have twud do you know good!! Im sure you are happily married and i dont think you have anything to worry about. And mayb because you are you got a bit of a fright when you realised you had those dreams but personally i wouldnt think it means anything just dont go tellin the wife!!

Torakx

ledsking wrote: »

as the title says, i have been dreaming of an ex of mine for the past 2 nights. my wife is at her mothers for the week as she is unwell, and now I am wondering why I am having thes dreams. We broke up 9 years ago. it did end badly bur thats another story. in the dreams - we are still together and happy and I wake up confused. I have not had any dreams about her in years and think it might be because my wife is away?
anyone have any similar experiences?

Ta..

quite interesting to see this as i am reading a book about Carl Jung the most amazing psychologist i have read about so far.although i have not read many i admit.
he speaks alot about dreams and where they come from.its very complicated reading and some parts i didnt quite understand.

he speaks about different types of dreams some related to the subconcious like your anima if your male ussually other times he says it is related to your shadowself which is alot deeper and hard to see in yourself.

but from what i read and please dont take my word as truth as i am not a psychologist and would not want to cause more damage!
there are lots of reasons peoples past comes back to haunt them.
sometimes it is during a period of depression or great stress the mind can revert back to a previous time when a big change occured.
during this big change SOMETIMES the concious mind has taken more control of the persons direction in life and the subconcious is being repressed.
this can cause many different reactions including nightmares,dreams,depression is a big one i think,and im sure alot of other neurosis.
the plus side from what i have read is that this is an important stage of the mind trying to cure itself and should be embraced and hopefully help you to look within yourself and try and work things out with your subconcious will and see what it has learned to want in life.
if you ignore the subconcious or the concious too much it can cause imbalance and i would GUESS thigns like this to happen.

so im not saying it is telling you change your whole life and people you have chosen to be with
but i would say i really think reading up a bit on freud and more importantly Carl Jung on neurosis,dreams and extrovert/introvert theories.

it actually helps me so much in dealing with my issues and finding myself more each day

i hope you find what i did because i am a truly free man now.

stewiegriffin08

maybe you made the wrong choice marrying your wife and your sub concious longs for you to go back to your ex, give her a ring sure, no harm in that see where things go

Torakx

lol i would say thats a very dangerous suggestion when the real issue could easily be his wife is away and with stress in life or whatever is causeing him to revert to a previous source of comfort ie an ex.
it could be anything and i think writing your feelings down in a journal will bring some of it out for you. as appose to reacting in life and finding it gets worse.

at least a private journal causes no harm to others or urself.

ps i love the forum name.
stewie griffin is the shizz!

Tar.Aldarion

It's not odd to dream about things that were a big deal in your life, I dream about exes aswell, in fact I woke jolted this morning after dreaming about screaming at one. Odd to wake up furious..

Wouldn't worryu to much, it might be you are stressed or depressed about something or anything really! Something you saw, heard smelt, jsut memories popping abck up

quietobserver

stewiegriffin08 wrote: »

maybe you made the wrong choice marrying your wife and your sub concious longs for you to go back to your ex, give her a ring sure, no harm in that see where things go

your top of the list for jobs in call centres like the samaratians:eek:

Blame it on the

Look hon,

Freud will tell you it's all your Moms fault, Carl had more interesting ideas. More complicated though.

The way I see it is that you were annoyed/upset (even if you didn't say it) that your good wife went off to "look after her Mom" and took all the stick that your workmates and mates were giving you about it and BANG........dream about "ex".

You supported your wife when she went to support her Mom. Don't be foolish now that her back is turned, please.

Haru

stewiegriffin08 wrote: »

maybe you made the wrong choice marrying your wife and your sub concious longs for you to go back to your ex, give her a ring sure, no harm in that see where things go

And that's how cheating began.

It's probably just because you and your wife are stressed at the moment, so you're imagining how it could be with another woman (therefore, your ex). Nothing bad there, it usually doesn't last.

syklops

Torakx wrote: »

quite interesting to see this as i am reading a book about Carl Jung the most amazing psychologist i have read about so far.although i have not read many i admit.
he speaks alot about dreams and where they come from.its very complicated reading and some parts i didnt quite understand.

he speaks about different types of dreams some related to the subconcious like your anima if your male ussually other times he says it is related to your shadowself which is alot deeper and hard to see in yourself.

but from what i read and please dont take my word as truth as i am not a psychologist and would not want to cause more damage!
there are lots of reasons peoples past comes back to haunt them.
sometimes it is during a period of depression or great stress the mind can revert back to a previous time when a big change occured.
during this big change SOMETIMES the concious mind has taken more control of the persons direction in life and the subconcious is being repressed.
this can cause many different reactions including nightmares,dreams,depression is a big one i think,and im sure alot of other neurosis.
the plus side from what i have read is that this is an important stage of the mind trying to cure itself and should be embraced and hopefully help you to look within yourself and try and work things out with your subconcious will and see what it has learned to want in life.
if you ignore the subconcious or the concious too much it can cause imbalance and i would GUESS thigns like this to happen.

so im not saying it is telling you change your whole life and people you have chosen to be with
but i would say i really think reading up a bit on freud and more importantly Carl Jung on neurosis,dreams and extrovert/introvert theories.

it actually helps me so much in dealing with my issues and finding myself more each day

i hope you find what i did because i am a truly free man now.

Whats the name of this book?

we'llallhavetea_old

Do you want it to mean something though? I mean, its just a wierd dream, they're usually full of oddities, but you're really interested in the fact that your ex was in them. I think you need to ask yourself why?

stewiegriffin08

quietobserver wrote: »

your top of the list for jobs in call centres like the samaratians:eek:

Funny enough.. I do work in a call center at the minute :rolleyes:

Drexler

I don't think it's such a big deal. An ex is someone you would once have been very close to and so you can never wipe them from your subconscious or memory completely. They're bound to pop up in a dream from time to time, like a childhood friend or a dead relative can.

The fact that your wife was away could be a coincidence. And subconsciously, something in the days could have triggered the dream, like a smell that you associate with her, or a similar name flashed on the credits after a tv show, or you passed someone on the street with similar features.

You may not have been aware of it at the time but your subconscious might have clocked it and then when you were asleep and the brain is filtering through all the junk that it has absorbed during the day she popped out in the dream.

If your ex is not important to you in your waking life, and you feel that you feel relatively comfortable being with your wife, then I reckon it's nthing more than a simple dream!

Drexler

I don't think it's such a big deal. An ex is someone you would once have been very close to and so you can never wipe them from your subconscious or memory completely. They're bound to pop up in a dream from time to time, like a childhood friend or a dead relative can.

The fact that your wife was away could well be a coincidence. And subconsciously, something in the days leading up to the night of the dream could have triggered it, like a smell that you associate with her, or a similar name flashed on the credits after a tv show, or you passed someone on the street with features like hers.

You may not have been aware of it at the time but your subconscious might have clocked it and then when you were asleep and the brain is filtering through all the junk that it has absorbed during the day she popped out in the dream.

If your ex is not important to you in your waking life, and you feel that you feel relatively comfortable being with your wife, then I reckon it's nothing more than a simple dream!

You said things got messy, and in the dream you were happy. Well that could just be a fantasy or an idealisation designed to overcome a traumatic event.

Like I was dumped by an ex and dreamt about her a lot immediately afterwards and then a few years later I had a dream where we were in a sitting room and she fell over and was hurt and vulnerable and asked me to pick her up and I did not help her out and she was crying. The dream did not mean I wanted to be back with her, it was just fantasy - instead of me being dumped and vulnerable (like in real life), she was the one vulnerable and I in control of events. Pure fantasy that's all!