Where are the shy, gentle girls?

seraphimvc

Terodil wrote: »

I'm surprised that so many responses here are putting the OP down like that. Well, maybe I should not be, but more to that in a minute.

If a woman said that she wanted a 'quiet, gentle' guy, I doubt anybody would bat an eyelash. A guy, however, who wants a 'quiet, gentle' girl is surely pathologically dominant? Talk about overinterpretation and conjecture.

I find that 'confidence' and 'assertiveness' are vastly overrated on PI/RI, and maybe in Ireland in general, and misunderstood. Especially women seem to believe that, to be emancipated, they must never show weakness or accept shortcomings or failures. Of course it is equally stupid if men assume that train of thought 'to be manly'. Our western culture is transitioning to an exhibitionist, loud one, where appearances vastly outweigh values, and weaknesses are considered k.o.-criteria. Therefore, to avoid problems, it is drilled into everybody (men and women alike) to outshine their real nature, to be loud, excessively confident, and to never ever take a critical look at themselves.

This is excessively idiotic because it inhibits all development. If you have no weaknesses, you have no motivation to grow or improve yourself. It's also idiotic in a personal relationship sense, because it is perfectly natural to develop protective/caring behaviour if somebody you are attached to shows that s/he is not perfect and needs occasional support too. Nobody wants a perfect being with no flaws. It would be terribly boring.

Confidence means that you are willing to accept yourself with strengths and weaknesses, and work on both. That you are willing to show the weakness to others too (within the boundaries of common sense, of course).

Anyway, sorry for the philosophising. @OP: Yep, by nature it's more difficult to find such people, and esp. to make them out in loud, noisy environments. But then it's hard to find 'the one' anyway. Just give it some time, you'll find the one for you in time. She'll probably appear when you least think of it.

Good luck.

perfect i do hope that more people will get what's Terodil trying to say here.

As a foreigner myself,altho i dont share a similar 'taste' on girls like OP,but i think OP's taste is absolutely acceptable - since the type of irish girls are not diverse enough,you probably hard to find a girl like that everywhere.since active girls = love to go out alot.

i bet you have a better chance in finding them in library ^_^i do find the girls who love reading fit in OP's taste!

hupyago

I think you just find them in different activities like art ,natural things like organic gardening wwoofing ,caring for animals and the like anything to do with the arts, galleries theatre, music ,bookshops, bookclubs, theatre groups
anything spiritual :buddhist centres ,retreat centres spiritual groups
also charities, groups like amnesty etc
also volunteer work and travel are good ways
you're probably looking in the wrong places
go with your interests you should meet people easily through them
good luck

poncho000

i think most posters here have completely misunderstood the OP. I mean come on he was hardly being literal about a girl sitting in the corner like a mouse.
I completely understand what you are on about OP and my advice is this:
Avoid irish girls.
My girlfriend is foreign. In fact she is asian. She is extremely intelligent and she isn't into the club/pub scene at all, like me. She 's a class act. She wouldnt exactly fit your profile in the sense that she is very independant and confident in herself and her own ability, but actually i think thats what you're really after. And to be honest its a quality that i find is only on foreign woman.

LadyJ

OP, don't listen to this crap about avoiding Irish women. It's ridiculous to completely write off a whole nationality of women. Some Irish women are exactly the kind of girls you're looking for. I know and have known plenty who fit your description.

When you are looking for love, it can seem frustrating and hard to find but that's just because you're aware that you're looking for it.

The girls you describe are all over the place. There is no one place you're sure to find them. They go to college, the go to pubs, they go out for lunch, they go shopping, they walk the streets. They're just people. They don't have a particular hangout so just keep your eyes peeled and your mind open.

wylo

In fairness to the posters your first post made you look like someone who was majorly insecure and needed someone even less secure so you could feel "stronger".