Mad Job Titles

yupyup7up

Web Developer - Makes me sound like a spider...:rolleyes:

Cookie_Monster

dannym08 wrote: »

Customer Focused Sales Assistant
=
Person in Tesco who you ask to point you in the direction of the sugar

General Assistant is the term used for all low level staff in Tesco

Slow Motion

Primary / Secondary Teacher = State paid babysitter

KTRIC

A mate of mine worked in a chocolate factory a couple of years ago in Dublin. The guys in the packing section that packed the fudge were called "fudge packers"

RossFixxxed

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

That is because in Ireland engineer is not a protected term (unlike most of the world). Here the term "Chartered Engineer" is the protected version

Engineer is the glorious cover all to make any job fancy

Hydrocarbon redistribution engineer: pumps petrol
Urban debris relocation engineer: bin man
Domestic synchronisation engineer: housewife

and so on. It is like the suffix of -studies in transition year.

Leisure studies: yayyy off to a climbing wall
History in action studies: off to dublina after the climbing wall
French: Let's go see the hunchback of notra dame in the cinema as it is set in france... oh -studies.

R

Cookie_Monster

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Engineer is the glorious cover all to make any job fancy

Hydrocarbon redistribution engineer: pumps petrol
Urban debris relocation engineer: bin man
Domestic synchronisation engineer: housewife

and so on.
R

yeah but if you actually read what you quoted you'd understand that that is because it's not a protected term, if it was then all those silly titles wouldn't be allowed as EI would take them to court for degredation of the term. There would be strict requirements in work level/type/etc to be met before the job would be allowed the title "engineer"

smcgiff

Tribunal Lawyer = Leech

damienmcd

A mate of my brother got a job as a barman in that new Wright-Venue at the Airport and the staff were all told they were not barmen, that their actual job title was "Entertainment Technician".

What a load of bo**ox!

Also know a bloke who was a window cleaner and used refer to himself as a "Visual Technician".

RossFixxxed

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

yeah but if you actually read what you quoted you'd understand that that is because it's not a protected term, if it was then all those silly titles wouldn't be allowed as EI would take them to court for degredation of the term. There would be strict requirements in work level/type/etc to be met before the job would be allowed the title "engineer"

Err I entirely understand that mate, was agreeing with you and throwing some funny ones in there.... you're a Obvious Location Direction Engineer! You point out what I know! It's not much to point at though so you probably do need a degree to sift thorough all the stuff I THINK I know!

watna

I found out yesterday from a colleague in our Korean Office that in Korean workplaces they don't call you by your name, but your job title.

So it'd be, hey you, hygiene distribution consultant, clean the dishes!

I want to institute this in our work place. We have some great titles!

m3llowship

My Job title was actually "Department Champion" for a while.

That was kinda cool.

Alan_007_

communications operative = postman

Wompa1

A system Administrator for South Park requested the title E.I.E.I.O standing for Email, Internet, Electronic Information Officer

Fratton Fred

My mate's job title is "Demand Planner - Young Boys".

Contrary to common belief, he works for a toy company and has never met any priests.

Pace2008

jape wrote: »

Product Display Engineer = shelf stacker

Aye, I was one of those before in a darker time of my life. I remember getting called in for job, hearing the title but not really knowing what it meant, and worrying that I wouldn't be adequate for this important position.

orourkeda wrote: »

That's beautiful. It's like poetry. Did it mash up his face too? That'd be just too excellent.

Where's the anti-thanks button again? What the **** man, a kid gets dismembered and you think it's great because he was a 'scumbag?' Read the Irish Sun less.

Sizzler

Immobilsation Specialist - Clamper

Audio optimisation engineer - DJ

Media distribution executive - Newspaper seller

Cookie_Monster

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Err I entirely understand that mate, was agreeing with you and throwing some funny ones in there

Ah right then, my mistake.

JennyMaguire

Rodney Trotter DIC (Degree in Computing!)

mikeyboy

My girlfriend's sister in law received the following piece of immortal prose in her orientation pack when she started on the check out in her local supermarket in Canada

As a member of our first line purchase processing team you will be primarily involved in front facing customer interaction

DEFTLEFTHAND

Executioner.

Zombie thread resurrecter