Strange Rules at Work

Overheal

I'll start,

At my place of work, you are not allowed to discuss lunch before 10:31.

edit: no, I dont work at a food establishment.

petes

Overheal wrote: »

I'll start,

At my place of work, you are not allowed to discuss lunch before 10:31.

So it's a free for all on lunchtime talk at 10:32?

stepbar

Let me guess, you work in McDonalds?

Overheal

At 10:31. Because it takes us 3 hours on average to decide what we want for lunch. If you dont ask until 12:30, you wont eat until 3. We're very indecisive.

Anything before 1030 is still breakfast, according to McDonalds, Burger King and (most importantly) Hardee's.

**** no Stepbar, I work at a flooring shop.

Cookie_Monster

No masturbating at your desk

Degsy

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

No masturbating at your desk

I'd tell them to stick thier job!

stepbar

Overheal wrote: »

At 10:31. Because it takes us 3 hours on average to decide what we want for lunch. If you dont ask until 12:30, you wont eat until 3. We're very indecisive.

Anything before 1030 is still breakfast, according to McDonalds, Burger King and (most importantly) Hardee's.

**** no Stepbar, I work at a flooring shop.

Does the Government own it? Or McDonalds? Hell one of them must own the flooring company.......

orestes

Degsy wrote: »

I'd tell them to stick thier job!

You told me those books were covered in pritt-stick :mad:

Ro: maaan!

That's a bit much. Can you discuss other meals? Lunch from the previous day? Food at all?

Dartz

Not allowed to call a potential vendors product a:

Dangerous piece of plastic **** that won't work, is over-****ing priced, breaks every five minutes, and will ****ing kill someone some day.

Especially not to their face.

ejmaztec

Overheal wrote: »

I'll start,

At my place of work, you are not allowed to discuss lunch before 10:31.

edit: no, I dont work at a food establishment.

Can you discuss yesterday's lunch until 10:31, then get on to the main event?

I'm self-employed, so I'm always free to discuss anything with myself.

ShooterSF

In a hotel I worked in we had a handbook which along with general rules outlined also explained where each department was to search in the event of a bomb scare.

karlr42

"Employees must wash hands"

Degsy

karlr42 wrote: »

"Employees must wash hands"

Another example of the nanny state we live in.
I'll wash my hands once a year whether they're dirty or not.

JONJO THE MISER

Unemployed, no such problems:D

Poor Uncle Tom

"No biting during foreplay"

I ask you, is anything sacred anymore?

My name is URL

I worked in a hotel a few years ago that had a rule stating that you must give 2 days notice if you intend to be sick

I think it was a pisstake, made me laugh anyway

whadabouchasir

where I work your not allowed to have stubble but you are allowed to have a beard.This means that you have to take time off work to grow a beard.

Poor Uncle Tom

whadabouchasir wrote: »

where I work ypur not allowed to have stubble but you are allowed to have a beard.This means that you have to take time off work to grow a beard.

Can't you grow one on your own time, say the weekend......:D

whadabouchasir

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

Can't you grow one on your own time, say the weekend......:D

That wouldn't really be a proper beard,it would just be stubble.when they say a beard they mean a chuck Norris beard.

TPD

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

No masturbating at your desk

Not safe for a ridiculously uptight workplace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn6Z9djh8eA

oppenheimer1

We get drug tested every six months, so if there are any narcotics in our system we have to explain ourselves extremely well, or be shown the door. Although I don't take them, it pisses me off to have to submit samples to them.

horgan_p

not where i work , but i've called to fix computers in places where they have a rule about "custom ring tones"
Apparently if it didnt come with the phone you cant use it :eek:

dr.bollocko

horgan_p wrote: »

not where i work , but i've called to fix computers in places where they have a rule about "custom ring tones"
Apparently if it didnt come with the phone you cant use it :eek:

You'd understand that one a bit better if you had to listen to that ****ing intro to sweet child of mine every time somebody's mobile rings for months and months and months?
Fire him? I say we stab him.
Why can't a phone just make a ****ing ring ring noise? People with custom ring tones annoy the crap out of me. "I don't give a flying **** about whether you like the minimal trance remix you have as your ring tone. In fact i hate it. And you."

horgan_p

sorry , i forgot to mention - people got official warnings for it !! and i heard that one person got the sack (not sure if thats true though)
Tough one to explain at the dole office i'd imagine.

Red_Marauder

horgan_p wrote: »

not where i work , but i've called to fix computers in places where they have a rule about "custom ring tones"
Apparently if it didnt come with the phone you cant use it :eek:

Sounds harsh maybe, but after spending all morning sitting next to a girl who insisted on allowing her Bosco ringtone play until almost the very end so we all could enjoy it, I really wanted to do it, or somebody, some serious damage. Except luckily for her I'm a total wimp like that.

weldoninhio

Where i work we have a rule that you are not allowed to be sick. If you are sick, or even if you become ill during work and go home, you have to go for a meeting with the department manager, not your team leader or floor manager!! THE DEPARTMENT MANAGER!!

Who then proceeds to question you, medical cert or not, and threatens you with a visit to head office to see the company doctor if you make a habit of it, even if you are fully certified and it is your first sick leave!!

krudler

We have to ring in every day to state we wont be in sick even if you've rang in the first day and specifically say you're certed out for a few days or whatever and wont be back until X date, this is a special pain in the balls when youre due to start at 8am and have to wake your sick self up before then to ring, pointless!

Mr. Incognito

Come in at 9- as if!

eman66

I hate having to request a form requisition form if I need a holdiay, sick, flexitime form etc.

Wossack

no banging your tin cup against the bars

445279.ie

we have to be polite to customers :rolleyes:

orestes

No drinking and no shagging the customers. Pffft

Raze_them_all

orestes wrote: »

No drinking and no shagging the customers. Pffft

You clearly don't work in a pub!

Spear

My job made me sign a form saying I didn't object to being made to watch porn in work.

InkSlinger67

Spear wrote: »

My job made me sign a form saying I didn't object to being made to watch porn in work.

Cameraman?

Either that or fluffer :pac: <====8

orestes

Raze_them_all wrote: »

You clearly don't work in a pub!

I don't actually. Well, I kinda do. I run pubcrawls in Dublin, so you could say I kinda work in lots of pubs without actually working for any of them :pac:

Raze_them_all

orestes wrote: »

I don't actually. Well, I kinda do. I run pubcrawls in Dublin, so you could say I kinda work in lots of pubs without actually working for any of them :pac:

Ah ok, In the bars I work in we were never said that to, In fact I remember one night around the holidays we were all drinking and pulling customers. Good times!

Spear

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

Cameraman?

Either that or fluffer :pac: <====8

Thankfully neither. The downside is that I'm made to watch major sporting events though.

Mint Sauce

orestes wrote: »

No drinking and no shagging the customers. Pffft

can you do one or the other to the customer

orestes

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Ah ok, In the bars I work in we were never said that to, In fact I remember one night around the holidays we were all drinking and pulling customers. Good times!

I would never do such things as that would be against the rules. So if anyone ever sees a pi[ssed guy in Dublin leading a pubcrawl and scoring his customers it's not me. In fact, I wasn't even in town that night and that money was just resting in my account.

<_<

irish-stew wrote: »

can you do one or the other to the customer

Are you suggesting I drink my customers and shag my beer?

djk1000

We had to fill in a form about whether we did or did not want CPR or defibrillation if we dropped.....So vital seconds wasted while they search for the form

Oafley Jones

weldoninhio wrote: »

Where i work we have a rule that you are not allowed to be sick. If you are sick, or even if you become ill during work and go home, you have to go for a meeting with the department manager, not your team leader or floor manager!! THE DEPARTMENT MANAGER!!

Who then proceeds to question you, medical cert or not, and threatens you with a visit to head office to see the company doctor if you make a habit of it, even if you are fully certified and it is your first sick leave!!

They are playing a dangerous game if they are questioning a medical cert; if they are, they're basically questioning your doctor's competence.

Corruptedmorals

3-4 weeks notice to request a day off, because the rosters are made stupidly far in advance. Massive form with loads of stuff to fill out on it too.

Part-timers in college have to show their timetable to HR, that's a bit much.

Drpaery staff may not phone in sick to personnel and must spend ages wasting their time ringing the store number and eventually getting through to an abusive manager.

cotwold

Overheal wrote: »

I'll start,

At my place of work, you are not allowed to discuss lunch before 10:31.

edit: no, I dont work at a food establishment.

I wouldn't survive till 10.30 without talk of lunch!!!

El Guapo!

The first rule of work: You do not talk about work!

The second rule of work: You DO NOT talk about work!
.
.
.
.
.
The third rule of work: No touching the customers

whadabouchasir

Dean09 wrote: »

The third rule of work: No touching the customers

I've never heard of this one before.

El Guapo!

whadabouchasir wrote: »

I've never heard of this one before.

Yeah its kind of new.................stupid judge...............:mad:

This_Years_Love

I used to work at in this office in Ballsbridge a few years ago. They had this awful dress code rule. You could only wear black to work, no other colour -- even on on 'casual friday' you had to still come in dressed in black. I only worked there for 6 months. I quit the day I opened my wardrobe and realised that 90% of my clothes were black because of that fcuking place! I handed in my notice and went on a shopping trip.

BaconZombie

I was asked by my German boss if I ever wear anything that NO black, got it the point every time he's Ireland the first thing he comments on is me wearing all black.

This_Years_Love wrote: »

I used to work at in this office in Ballsbridge a few years ago. They had this awful dress code rule. You could only wear black to work, no other colour -- even on on 'casual friday' you had to still come in dressed in black. I only worked there for 6 months. I quit the day I opened my wardrobe and realised that 90% of my clothes were black because of that fcuking place! I handed in my notice and went on a shopping trip.

JONJO THE MISER

Corruptedmorals wrote: »

3-4 weeks notice to request a day off, because the rosters are made stupidly far in advance. Massive form with loads of stuff to fill out on it too.

Part-timers in college have to show their timetable to HR, that's a bit much.

Drpaery staff may not phone in sick to personnel and must spend ages wasting their time ringing the store number and eventually getting through to an abusive manager.

Aww god olde Dunnes, ya wouldnt beat them with the abusive managers they have.