man tries to rape raccoon and has his knob bitten off

pwd

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,24969574-948,00.html

A RAGING raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he tried to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with friends when he leapt on the terrified animal.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Looks like he Bert off more than he could chew.

Sulmac

That was some blowjob.

No happy ending there.

<other generic penis pun>

orourkeda

What else has this bloke stuck his lad in.

K-9

Men should think twice where they put it.

tribulus

I find this surge of stories about phallic rage disconcerting to say the least, though I could hardly blame the racoon.

K-9

Pics of the Raccoon or GTFO!

Forgot this was AH.

pikachucheeks

Fair play to the raccoon is all I can say!

Iang87

never cringed and laughed so hard in my life. At least he didnt get that raccoon stink stuff on his knob that'd nearly be worse

orourkeda

Iang87 wrote: »

never cringed and laughed so hard in my life. At least he didnt get that raccoon stink stuff on his knob that'd nearly be worse

How much brown raccoon stink stuff ended up in his jocks?

starbelgrade

Have you seen the racoon? Looks to me like it was asking for it, what with it's sexy eyes, alluring whiskers & general animal charms. I'd give it one.

latenia

This might make his relationships Rocky...

mikom

A RAGING raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he tried to rape the animal.

Cyril Sneer , 44, was on a drunken weekend with friends when he leapt on the terrified animal.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

K-9

Don't bite of more than you can chew.

Raze_them_all

pwd wrote: »

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,24969574-948,00.html

And that folks is why it's always good to take the rear end when spit roasting a racoon!

4zn76tysfajdxp

starbelgrade wrote: »

Have you seen the racoon? Looks to me like it was asking for it, what with it's sexy eyes, alluring whiskers & general animal charms. I'd give it one.

It's not that black and white, mate.

kiffer

Why are these raccoons in Russia? Aren't the a New World animal? Worse than gray squirels...

K-9

Brysen Long Potassium wrote: »

It's not that black and white, mate.

I agree, pal.

4zn76tysfajdxp

K-9 wrote: »

I agree, pal.

I'm not your pal...

Only joking, I am your pal. I love you k-9.

K-9

Brysen Long Potassium wrote: »

I'm not your pal...

Only joking, I am your pal. I love you k-9.

You're not my pal, Mate!

I'm confused!

Call Me Jimmy

It's the raccoon's fault for going out dressed like a slut...

Was he getting head or something?

pikachucheeks

Brysen Long Potassium wrote: »

I'm not your pal...

Only joking, I am your pal. I love you k-9.

Love is a strong word. It should only be used when it's sincerely meant! - Look what happened to that man when he tried to show his affection to the raccoon!

kiffer

K-9 wrote: »

You're not my pal, Mate!

I'm confused!

He's not your mate, buddy!

Raze_them_all

kiffer wrote: »

He's not your mate, buddy!

He could be his mate, chum!

K-9

LittleNipper wrote: »

Was he getting head or something?

The Raccoon got the head.

starbelgrade

Brysen Long Potassium wrote: »

It's not that black and white, mate.

I don't care if it's black OR white.. I'm not fussy when it comes to racoons.

4zn76tysfajdxp

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Love is a strong word. It should only be used when it's sincerely meant! - Look what happened to that man when he tried to show his affection to the raccoon!

Pshhhawww, dogs and raccoons are totally different! :rolleyes:

Mrmoe

That will teach Mysterion I bet

bronte

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

K-9

Raze_them_all wrote: »

He could be his mate, chum!

Sorry, old chap.

Brysen Long Potassium wrote: »

Pshhhawww, dogs and raccoons are totally different! :rolleyes:

Ah, misunderstanding there, you prefer dogs.

Mrmoe

bronte wrote: »

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

I'm a little bit scared that you enjoyed that so much;) ,

4zn76tysfajdxp

K-9 wrote: »

Ah, misunderstanding there, you prefer dogs.

Let's just say I think they're very stylish animals.

Overheal

K-9 wrote: »

Pics of the Raccoon or GTFO!

Forgot this was AH.

http://cnn.com/media/images/racoon.jpg - NSFW

ya-ba-da-ba-doo

I blame the recession.

K-Ren

''Hey, nice Rac.''

K-9

Overheal wrote: »

http://cnn.com/media/images/racoon.jpg

Put NSFW on that link FFS!

bigeasyeah

He probably startled the poor raccoon into attacking him.
He should have slowed down and took his time.
I suppose thats what happens when you re Russian.









Anyone?

K-9

Brysen Long Potassium wrote: »

Let's just say I think they're very stylish animals.

I am a tease!

Sharpshooter

starbelgrade wrote: »

I don't care if it's black OR white.. I'm not fussy when it comes to racoons.

Should that not be chimps?

/Dear God MJ you have a lot to answer to..

starbelgrade

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Should that not be chimps?

/Dear God MJ you have a lot to answer to..

I'd never f*ck a chimp. That's pure bad dude - you need to get some perspective on life, you sick f*cker.

starbelgrade

K-9 wrote: »

I am a tease!

So was the racoon... and look what happened.

Sharpshooter

starbelgrade wrote: »

I'd never f*ck a chimp. That's pure bad dude - you need to get some perspective on life, you sick f*cker.

Blows bubbles at ^^^^^.

:rolleyes:

starbelgrade

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Blows bubbles at ^^^^^.

:rolleyes:

Better put a blanket over that.

In case anyone sees.

Overheal

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Blows bubbles at ^^^^^.

:rolleyes:

Bubbles has rights! His lawyers will see you about this.

Sharpshooter

Overheal wrote: »

Bubbles has rights! His lawyers will see you about this.

Christ, they will go ape!!!

/hides in a land where they will never find me..

Overheal

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Christ, they will go ape!!!

*shakes head*

Have to borrow this a second... punnished!

edit: it doesnt work for me

Overheal

Ok this might seriously be the coon.

http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/3/collegehumor.6cd7f40b78410eecb094b0637e6d3a77.jpg

In this picture, I think they both know what was happening next.

Bob Z

Serves him right. Theres too much of that happening these days

beni

And HELL is waiting for him as well

Amalgam

Do not put the words 'Raccoon blowjob' into Google. You have been warned.

Rule 34 wins again.