Best and worst

Khannie

What do you think are the best things about being male?

and

What do you think are the worst things about being male?

Best:
Never being pregnant
No periods
Age well
Being fat as you get older is expected
Can drive better :pac:
edit: Pee standing up / almost anywhere

Worst:
Never being pregnant (I'd love to know what that feels like, but not go the whole 9 months / squeeze that sucker out).
Facial hair is a pain in the hole
Balding (Don't actually mind this one too much myself)
Hair appearing where it shouldn't as you get older
Night time peeing

helimachoptor

Worst thing about being male... Having to put up with women!

Will

(broad generalisations)

Best:
Being able to sit with another male mate in complete silence and be content, sometimes there's no need for chatter.
Peeing standing up, imagine if we couldn't? i bet male toilets would be spotless.
Facial hair - i think it's awesome. Tom sellick? Hulg hogan back in the day? Legends
No periods - so thankful. I do believe men get hormonal at times though, i call it the manopause. Manpons haven't been invented yet though


Worst:
Yeah same as Khannie, I'd like to know what it feels like to be pregnant. Must be a great sense of awesomeness knowing you are caring,feeding, nurturing your soon to be born child. Also scary, I'd be terrified of people bumping into me, falling etc.
Pressure to be 'manly' as discussed in the other thread.
When you get crazy old and you get hair growing out of your ears :-/
boners - specially morning ones when you need to pee, or when they just happen for no reason, usually at very inopportune times

Will think of more as the thread progresses

tribulus

Most things have already been covered I reckon.

Best:

The whole getting paid more on average for the same work than women. I'm not sure of the stats to back it up and I certainly don't agree with it but f*ck would I hate that discrimination.

Not having fertility worries that come with age.

Not having to put up with threads about how shíte Irish men are - okay that's a very minor one but I would get seriously pissed off if I was a woman reading the same stuff day in, day out.

Worst:

I dread the day I start getting a hairy back.
The legal rogering I will get if I ever have kids, particularly without being married and want a fair deal if things don't work out.
Again on a similiar note, a f*cking pathetic two days paternity leave.

Overall though I very much prefer being a man, I reckon we have it a lot easier than women, all things considered.

CDfm

Parallel parking is the best thing.

Having to lift the toilet seat must be the worst along with sitting through chick flicks.

bangersandmash

Will wrote: »

Pressure to be 'manly' as discussed in the other thread.

To be fair it seems there is equal if not more pressure for women to conform to being feminine, while still being assertive and successful. Which leads to...

tribulus wrote: »

Not having to put up with threads about how shíte Irish men are - okay that's a very minor one but I would get seriously pissed off if I was a woman reading the same stuff day in, day out.

I'd imagine this must seriously grate for a frequent female Boards user. It's embarrassing the number of men who seem to believe they're entirely culturally distinct from their mothers, sisters, female friends and so on.

On the other hand there's no underestimating...

tribulus wrote: »

Again on a similiar note, a f*cking pathetic two days paternity leave.

Otis Driftwood

Best

We can go on a 2 day bender without having to change clothes or shower,get so drunk we lose are memory and get lost,wake up lying in a bus shelter and then tell all your mates about it and have a great laugh.

We (well,most of us) dont have to worry about bikini line/under arm/leg waxing or shaving.I really dont know how women put up with it.Id go out of my head.

We can burp and fart in public and not too many pass any heed.

We can verbally abuse our best friends and never fall out over it.

If we do something stupid,most of the time we can get away with it.

Worst

Getting hit in the bollocks.Nuff said.

We cant go to see the latest Pixar movie on our own without getting funny looks.

For some reason we are expected by alot of people to be mechanically savvy/into cars etc.I couldnt care less about cars.If it has 4 wheels and moves its good enough.



Im sure theres more but my brain is frazzled.

BTW,good thread Khannie.

Mackman

Best

+1 on all the ones already said

the friendships are easier. ive seen the hassle that some women have to go through to be friends with someone

being able to think about absolutely nothing, my OH doesnt believe me with this one

very quick to get ready for anything, shower, shave, gel hair, clothes, out the door

Worst

+1 kicked in the balls

hair everywhere, it drives me mad!! legs, chest, arms, under arms, back, face, feet, big toe!!


Overall i enjoy being a man, i dont know how women do it,all the crap they have to deal with.

Teferi

nedtheshed wrote: »

We can verbally abuse our best friends and never fall out over it.

Indeed that is the basis for a lot of male friendships.

tbh

if I were pregnant, I would be walking around crapping myself for nine months thinking "is this is? Am I in labour now? is it going to be sore? it's going to be sore isn't it? is it going to be really sore?"

Khannie

nedtheshed wrote: »

Worst

Getting hit in the bollocks.

Can't believe I forgot this. Jesus. The pain!

CDfm

I forgot to post that having a penis is great and fun. It cant be beat:D

tbh

Khannie wrote: »

Can't believe I forgot this. Jesus. The pain!

getting flicked is worse. You know when you have that ten seconds where you don't know if it's going to hurt or not? then you start feeling sick...and get paler and paler....:D

Snowie

worst things First
so far is the hair in weird place I've recently developed, 1 single black hair on my hand I take it buy the time i hit my 30s im going to be hairy...?
when you go surfing or something watersport based and your balls just dissapear a long with you shlong its like there doing a reentry.
Balls there is the wrong place some time's
facial hair when it gets itchy...
Oh having a tell tale sign that you your attracted to a girl...:o and then she tease's you

Best things..
i dunno il go for a wlak and think and then edit this bit

Otis Driftwood

Teferi wrote: »

Indeed that is the basis for a lot of male friendships.

100%
My best male friend and I never call eachother by our given names.Its usually something like cock nose,spunk chops,****** features etc.
Unless his OH is about,then we are very civilised.

tbh wrote: »

getting flicked is worse. You know when you have that ten seconds where you don't know if it's going to hurt or not? then you start feeling sick...and get paler and paler....:D

Aye,it starts in your pelvis then radiates throughout your whole body.Its been many years since this has happened but even thinking of it is enough to make me shrivel up.

CDfm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Best things..
i dunno il go for a wlak and think and then edit this bit

Snowy I hope you mean walk- ahem - its not that kind of thread:D

Snowie

CDfm wrote: »

Snowy I hope you mean walk- ahem - its not that kind of thread:D

what kind of sick demented pervert do you take me for huh ? :pac:

as for good things

i dunno can't see any other ones that have been mentioned...

CDfm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

what kind of sick demented pervert do you take me for huh ? :pac:

LOL:P

suey71

Best things about being a man.

1. Being able to shave your head. (unless your name is Britney).

2.Being able to open sauce bottles.

3. Being better cooks than women.( sorry Nigella, your a babe, but The Ramsey beats you hands down.).

4. Being downright handsome:cool:.


Worse Things.

1.Having to pretend that you like football.

2.Worrying about Penis size!! Cant leave this one out.

3.Not being able to admit to liking Debbie Gibson back in the day. (Total Legand).....(I can admit to it now because I'm married, I have lots of kids, and I have a really deeeeeeeeep voice:D.)

4. Not having lots of hair:(.

Reillyman

CDfm wrote: »

I forgot to post that having a penis is great and fun. It cant be beat

Yes it can!:D

Will

How we shower, who hasn't made the shampoo mohawk? That's right, everyone has...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qehxjub5lyo

Keano

I think most of you guys have covered it all

One thing I love about being male is on a Saturday if we are going out around 9, herself has to go get ready at 7(why so long?) where as I can sit downstairs having a few and watching some tv, stroll up around 8.30 and have the 3's if need be and still be ready before her!!

Teferi

suey71 wrote: »

1.Having to pretend that you like football.

2.Worrying about Penis size!! Cant leave this one out.

I never pretend to like football. What a rubbish sport played by pikeys and overpaid babies.

Rugby, now there is a game :cool:

Also, my penis size never bothered me.Because it's a foot long :pac:

suey71

(12 inch's) is that hard or soft? Mines a 12 when its soft:D.

Fajitas!

Deadly;

Waking up at someone elses house, and being able to walk home/to the bus without worrying about looking in too much of a state.

Not having to worry about getting pregnant. Jaysis, there's a lot of you that say you'd like to feel what it's like. No thank you

Being able to make an absolute balls of something, admit it to your friends and have a laugh about it. Makes it much better.

Shaving - All ye who give out about it, get a good badger hair brush, proper shaving cream and either a safety razor or a straight razor. Makes it a pleasure.

Suits are the business.

Sh*te talking with a few other lads in the pub.

I also enjoy being that bit more foolhardy than the fairer sex.



Sh*tbuzz;

Worrying about coming across as a pervy/sleazy. Especially in my line of work. I also *despise* that feeling you get when you're talking to a member of the opposite sex and she assumes you're only talking to her to chat her up. :-/

Hair. I'm ever so slowly going grey. Not bald mind, far from it, but I keep on finding the f*ckers. And I'm not impressed. Lifts with mirrors are the worst places for it.

As Snow-Monkey said, the two lads below being in the wrong place at the wrong time. What a pain in the.. Er.. Yeah.

Will

I'm indifferent about this, I don't know whether it is good or bad. Sort of indifferent but leaning towards bad cos sometimes I hate it and myself for doing it, maybe it's a glimpse for some women into the male psyche and how hard we battle urges...

We have all been here, and more importantly have been caught. Boobs, looking at them.

Your chattin to a mate or whoever and they happen to have some boob on show. You notice them move out of the corner of your eye. You do your utmost to maintain eye contact, they move again.

Breaking into a sweat trying to keep your eyes up. It feels like an eternity. You can't keep up for long. You've seen them before, every woman has them, you try to think of other things and rationalise it.

Who ever you are talking to, now realises your not really paying attention as you debate with yourself in your head. Your conversational partner asks you "are you even listening to a word I'm saying?!" You grunt as you are deep in thought (we're not very good at multi tasking are we?)

You get back into the swing of things, now sweating like a gimp in a sauna trying to maintain eye contact. Your mate asks you if your ok, that you look a bit flushed. You shrug it off saying "probably swine flu or something ha".

You can't resist, you avert your gaze for a second. Instantly you feel good, then right after apathy, then shame. Then fear because you know you've been caught. You get the "you were lookin at my boobs" frown.

If women only knew how hard we (sometimes) battle with ourselves. I say sometimes because on some occasions you just don't wanna fight it.

Fajitas!

Lol! Agreed.

That said, I've never been rumbled with the "are you even listening to a word I'm saying?!"

Reillyman

Will wrote: »

You can't resist, you avert your gaze for a second. Instantly you feel good, then right after apathy, then shame. Then fear because you know you've been caught. You get the "you were lookin at my boobs" frown.

LMAO, this is exactly how it goes down, Quality!:D

Mackman

Will wrote: »

I'm indifferent about this, I don't know whether it is good or bad. Sort of indifferent but leaning towards bad cos sometimes I hate it and myself for doing it, maybe it's a glimpse for some women into the male psyche and how hard we battle urges...

We have all been here, and more importantly have been caught. Boobs, looking at them.

Your chattin to a mate or whoever and they happen to have some boob on show. You notice them move out of the corner of your eye. You do your utmost to maintain eye contact, they move again.

Breaking into a sweat trying to keep your eyes up. It feels like an eternity. You can't keep up for long. You've seen them before, every woman has them, you try to think of other things and rationalise it.

Who ever you are talking to, now realises your not really paying attention as you debate with yourself in your head. Your conversational partner asks you "are you even listening to a word I'm saying?!" You grunt as you are deep in thought (we're not very good at multi tasking are we?)

You get back into the swing of things, now sweating like a gimp in a sauna trying to maintain eye contact. Your mate asks you if your ok, that you look a bit flushed. You shrug it off saying "probably swine flu or something ha".

You can't resist, you avert your gaze for a second. Instantly you feel good, then right after apathy, then shame. Then fear because you know you've been caught. You get the "you were lookin at my boobs" frown.

If women only knew how hard we (sometimes) battle with ourselves. I say sometimes because on some occasions you just don't wanna fight it.

:pac:

Another one is when you subconciously (sp?) do it. and the boob owner spots you doing it before you even realise what your doing, then you look up

Otis Driftwood

Another good thing about being a bloke is weddings,from all conceivable angle.

If we are going to one we can go and buy our entire ensemble in one shop - suit,shirt,tie and shoes - and in under 30 minutes.If we have a couple of weddings close together that involve mutual friends we dont have to worry about being seen wearing the same suit.All we have to do is buy a new shirt and tie.Happy days.

Also,when it comes to getting married.I know a few couples that the female has done 99% of the planning,shouldering 99% of the stress involved.The blokes went and get measured for the suits with fiance in tow and that was basically it.Turn up on the day and bobs your uncle.My sister got married last year and I had the unfortunacy to be in the house that morning.It was fecking bedlam.Stress about flowers,limos,hair dressers,make up artists,everything.While my sis was running around the house like a blue arsed fly her husband to be was sitting having a pint in the boozer.You gotta love it.

Khannie

Not sure if it's been mentioned but

Pro:
You always get to orgasm.

Con:
You're wasted after.

Khannie

Will wrote: »

If women only knew how hard we (sometimes) battle with ourselves. I say sometimes because on some occasions you just don't wanna fight it.

Yes. Good god. I really try very very very hard not to just gawk at breasts all the time. They're so delicious looking! Sometimes I just can't resist but then I feel bad afterwards, but then I feel like I shouldn't feel bad because it's natural to want to look at boobies. My god. They're so delicious looking!

Will

another general observation, suppose it's not just for lads but still

feeling and looking handsome. For those of us who like me who rarely dress up for an occasion. I quite enjoy it though, throw on a nice lookin suit, and boom, complements all around about being handsome. It's not so much being pretty/attractive, it's something different cos the ugliest fecker in the world can look handsome in the right clothes.

Khannie

Very true about the suit thing. *blam* Lookin' good there Khannie.

Remembered another crappy thing about being male:

You need to avoid kids you don't know lest people think you're a bloody paedo. I hate that because I love kids.

tbh

Khannie wrote: »

You need to avoid kids you don't know lest people think you're a bloody paedo. I hate that because I love kids.

man, that really pisses me off. I was going to the shops the other day, and a little kid fell off his bike along the way. He was on his own and bawling and I wanted to go over and pick him up, as I would with my nephews and nieces, but I just felt like I couldn't.

I suppose in one case, we're all responsible for that - I probably should have done it anyway. But tbh it's such a devastating thing to be accused of, it's just not worth the risk for something like a kid falling off his bike. It's a horrible situation.

Will

Spurred by the ladies lounge thread, insurance. Man do we get screwed over for car insurance

Dr Galen

Best

Watching an action movie and really thinking that if a bunch of Russian terrorists took over the shopping centre you'd be able to go all John McClane on them. Or that a standard 2L Toyota Avensis really could change into a 20ft tall robot if you press the DISP button seven times in the right sequence.

The joy of a nicely cooked steak or ribs with just the right amount of sauce

being able to completely zone out of life and spend a whole day watching crazy Discovery channel programs about Nazi killer penguins or ginormous cranes or icebergs

surprising people who think your a slathering manfool with your intelligence when you quote Sartre to them



Worst

hangover craps

never remembering everything that the missus sent you to the shop for

not being able to open the jar

not actually being a living GPS

Will

i'd put visits to the thrown when hungover as one of the good things, quite satisfying i think.

another good thing, being able to eat all around you and get commended on your appetite.

tribulus

Khannie wrote: »

Not sure if it's been mentioned but


Con:
You're wasted after.

Pro:

You get a nice, fitful sleep after. :pac:

Manic Moran

Pro: The extra average height and strength.

Con: Being asked to use the extra average height and strength by shorter, weaker females.

Pro: Feeling all useful and manly afterwards.

Con: Feeling used just for your body.

---

Pro: Haircut costs me $7, and is over in about ten minutes.

Pro: Substantially shorter lines at the public restroom.

Con: Being expected to know how to fix anything mechanical, or how to grill.



Add me in on the 'I'm glad I don't get pregnant' side, by the way.

NTM

CDfm

Manic Moran wrote: »

Pro: Haircut costs me $7, and is over in about ten minutes.

Con: mens clothes are a lot more expensive then womens and there is less choice.

If its true that men own 90% of the property how come they only have 10% of the Shopping space.

Khannie

Pro (and I've literally just done this with the youngfella): You can select your new shoes in under a minute.

edit: Another pro: There is less choice in footwear. Some may see this as a con, but not me.

edit: Pro: No problem turning up at a party in the same top as someone else.

Fajitas!

Khannie wrote: »

edit: Another pro: There is less choice in footwear. Some may see this as a con, but not me.

edit: Pro: No problem turning up at a party in the same top as someone else.

A) I still have to decide between my black perri-w's or formal 'boots', formal shoes, or... *list goes on*

I think it's even more embarassing when I turn up to a party and someone is wearing the same shirt. Here's an experience for you, at one of my exhibition openings, I was talking away to my old man. Cute girl comes over and says "Oh, that's cute you're wearing the same make of shirt". I hadn't noticed. I wasn't impressed.

Reillyman

Will wrote: »

i'd put visits to the thrown when hungover as one of the good things, quite satisfying i think.

Is it just me, or is sitting on the toilet with your head in your hands the most satisfying state possible when your hungover?

Manic Moran

CDfm wrote: »

Con: mens clothes are a lot more expensive then womens and there is less choice.

Where do you shop? My clothes are plenty affordable.

And I have plenty enough choice. "Collared shirt. T-Shirt. Polo-Shirt. Collared Short-sleeved shirt" And usually in a variety of colours. I've got more than enough to keep me going.

NTM

Teferi

Will wrote: »

I'm indifferent about this, I don't know whether it is good or bad. Sort of indifferent but leaning towards bad cos sometimes I hate it and myself for doing it, maybe it's a glimpse for some women into the male psyche and how hard we battle urges...

We have all been here, and more importantly have been caught. Boobs, looking at them.

Your chattin to a mate or whoever and they happen to have some boob on show. You notice them move out of the corner of your eye. You do your utmost to maintain eye contact, they move again.

Breaking into a sweat trying to keep your eyes up. It feels like an eternity. You can't keep up for long. You've seen them before, every woman has them, you try to think of other things and rationalise it.

Who ever you are talking to, now realises your not really paying attention as you debate with yourself in your head. Your conversational partner asks you "are you even listening to a word I'm saying?!" You grunt as you are deep in thought (we're not very good at multi tasking are we?)

You get back into the swing of things, now sweating like a gimp in a sauna trying to maintain eye contact. Your mate asks you if your ok, that you look a bit flushed. You shrug it off saying "probably swine flu or something ha".

You can't resist, you avert your gaze for a second. Instantly you feel good, then right after apathy, then shame. Then fear because you know you've been caught. You get the "you were lookin at my boobs" frown.

If women only knew how hard we (sometimes) battle with ourselves. I say sometimes because on some occasions you just don't wanna fight it.

If girls wear low cut tops then they should expect to have them looked at. Isn't that the whole point anyway? :pac:

It's like that bit in Role Models - you have to be aware of the boobs without looking at them.

Teferi

Khannie wrote: »

Not sure if it's been mentioned but

Pro:
You always get to orgasm.

Question for everyone - is this a general thing or just a Khannie thing because I certainly don't. :mad:

CDfm

Teferi wrote: »

Question for everyone - is this a general thing or just a Khannie thing because I certainly don't. :mad:

It would be premature to comment

Will

bad thing - if you've got in any way broad shoulders most tops won't fit you or stock a size that will

Khannie

Teferi wrote: »

Question for everyone - is this a general thing or just a Khannie thing because I certainly don't. :mad:

It's certainly easier for males to achieve orgasm than females. Hell, my hand is capable of giving me an orgasm.

Possibly a thread worthy question though. I don't get there 100% of the time, but it's close.

Teferi

Khannie wrote: »

It's certainly easier for males to achieve orgasm than females. Hell, my hand is capable of giving me an orgasm.

Possibly a thread worthy question though. I don't get there 100% of the time, but it's close.

I meant just when your with Mrs. Khannie, because I certainly don't when I'm with Mrs. Teferi. Damn it...

From TLL version of this

sup_dude wrote: »

Similarly, able to have a broader range of interests.

Really? I would definitely say that guys have a far broader range of interests...