Surprise in my toilet

cjbh

Don't read the following if you're in any way squeamish...

So anyway, I'd been needing to go to the toilet for a few hours (#2), and had deliberately postponed it for a while (am I the only one who occasionally does this? ). 10 mins ago, I felt like, that's it, have to drop the kids off at the pool now. I was looking forward to it. I could just feel it in my waters that it was going to be a great $hit.

So I goes into the jax. Switch on the light. From a distance, I can see something floating in the toilet bowl. Gross! I can't believe my brother didn't flush the toilet - ick! I reach for the handle, but then...it moves! :eek:

I shrank back in horror. My initial reaction was that it must be some maggot-infested turd...ugh ugh ugh! Then I realised it was a bat! a bat swimming around helplessly in the little pool of toilet water.

I didn't know whether to laugh, run away screaming, wake up my family to show them, or $hit myself.

It stopped moving when it saw me. We both stayed there for a while, looking at each other.

I still really needed to take a dump, so I went to the downstairs jacks (the bat had a close shave tbh). It was worth the wait (sorry, TMI, I know). While I was sitting on the toilet, I thought, how exactly do you rectify a situation like this?

In the end, I fished out the bat with a toilet-duck brush. It even clung to the brush with its little claws for dear life, poor little critter. I transferred it into a basin, looking all soggy and pitiful. The bat is in the bath right now.

So I just thought I would share that experience. I think it must be one of the strangest things to have ever happened me.

p.s. what do I with the bat now?

zuroph

holy giant toilet bowl Batman!

but yeah, let the poor critter out of the shítter.

gandhi123

I call Shenanigans... Thats a bit far-fetched even for AH standards:p

DonkeyStyle \o/

cjbh wrote: »

p.s. what do I with the bat now?

Take photos of it and post them to this thread, then start a poll on what its name should be.

Dusty87

Nearly as bad as the story of the rabbit in the toilet bowl on ray darcy show today

sdanseo

Bats are a protected species, you'll get in trouble if you do anything to it.

Call a bat man (no pun intended). And do call us when you find a robin in your toilet :pac:

Overheal

well tbh, I'd let it go before sunrise so it has a chance to get back to wherever the **** it came from without being too disoriented.

orourkeda

did the bat drop a ****

mardybumbum

I read your post OP.
Then I wondered what a bat in a toilet might look like.
I was amazed to find a video on youtube regarding this topic.

Overheal

I love how he gets the camera before helping it out.

Dusty87

On a serious note, there very much protected, If there is a tree outside put him on it. If not put him on a window cill. Remember to wear gloves.
Edit to add: there's also a free phone number to ring about bats. Its in the nature and birdwatching forum. May be of help

Seaneh

put him in a tree out the back or whatever, and hope no cats get to him before he regains his strength enough to fly.

If you were really worried you could try catch a few moths and feed them to him...

pistonsvox

someone obviously ate too much BATchos, mmm sour cream dip also....*homer drool*

Rabies

or give him a fresh tampon no nibble on

CrazyRabbit

Rabies wrote: »

or give him a fresh tampon no nibble on

Make sure he doesn't have Rabies....

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

Overheal

So how's larry doing today? I named him larry. Its more imaginative than poo-face.

Dusty87

Overheal wrote: »

So how's larry doing today? I named him larry. Its more imaginative than poo-face.

Id say he's stil a bit 'flushed' after the 'hole' ordeal.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Put him in the microwave for 30 seconds then take back out and see if he has superpowers yet!

Gummy Panda

Smack it with an argos catalogue!

Tyler MacDurden

Some one activate the Bat-sign FlutterinBantam-sign.

robbie_998

eh dont bats hate humans ?

i'd leave it in the wheelie bin as a nice suprize for the bin man

Trail_Blazer

Wow, that's astounding.

Mrmoe

So I take it Ozzy Osbourne took a crap in your toilet today?;)

tbh

if that bat had turned left outta the cave instead of right, it might have ended up in flutters jacks. Wouldn't have stood a chance. Flutter might wonder afterweards when he ate a bat, but that'd be it.

K-Ren

That's Bat-sh*t crazy!

At least it wasn't an alligator though.

carbsy

Overheal wrote: »

I love how he gets the camera before helping it out.

Who said he helped it out? Might have flushed it away.. eeeks! :eek:

evad_lhorg

I didnt even know there were bats in Ireland. Theyre in my hair!!!!

Gummy Panda

evad_lhorg wrote: »

I didnt even know there were bats in Ireland. Theyre in my hair!!!!

ffs... stay still

/grabs argos catalogue

Crafty-Chel

you think thats bad, my friend was going to the toilet the other night and there was a rat looking up at him... :eek:

lostexpectation

anybody here that rabbit in my toilet story on the radio

Overblood

Imagine if you didn't see it and shat on top of it... Poor thing.

He would have been like Kate Winslet in Titanic hanging onto the raft, except instead of a raft it's a shit.

Birneybau

pistonsvox wrote: »

someone obviously ate too much BATchos, mmm sour cream dip also....*homer drool*

You Sir/Madam are worse than Hitler...

Carsinian Thau

OP, what happened to the bat (or Larry as Overheal has named him/her)?

I really want to know.:)

mink_man

haha

Ridley

It's an omen. Become Toiletman.

FlutterinBantam

:eek:WTF

Bat down the S bend!!

Routine buddy, don't panic.

Bats like dark damp smelly places,which is why I always tap me mott's box for hangers:D only kiddin' .

Anyway, never worry about opening the hole on top of a bat, fcukers have very strong rodent like teeth and can plough through even the thickest turd no problem.

Biggest problem is the fcuking stink which ,if fetid enough ,can overpower the animal and prevent egress.

Dropped a wide girthed log on a bat once and the fcuker eased out no problem ,but ,au contraire ,found a poor fcuker belly up in a swamp of gherkins , curry paste and sweetcorn lumps.

Took the poor fcuker out with a barbeque tongs.

You can't know:cool:

citizen_p

i found a bat before....my dog eat it though