Being stalked?

BettePorter

but seriously we should set up some club where only 'sane' lesbians would be considered for membership. we could have them fill out a questionaire to filter out the stalkers ! then we could have an, ' i've had the most psychotic/stalker story' competition !

shoegirl

Fancy That wrote: »

I mean do girls actually think that if they stalk you and freak you out enough that one day we might just wake up and say "ah yes...sher she's trying hard il give her a go" ...ahhh noooo....complete opposite....

Is it a needy type person, crazy or just severe lack of independence??

First of all, I don't think ALL women behave this way, just a number (unfortunately too many).
And yes, I think some straight women do it too.

First of all, I thnk the "stalker" from the OP is transferring her ideals onto this lady - if she's made it clear she doesn't want a relationship, any continuous "begging" for a "chance" is symptomatic of not accepting the rejection and feeling that somehow, if only given a "chance" she can "seduce" the OP. This is delusional, but it doesn't mean she's crazy - it means she's got things very, very wrong, and probably feels she hasn't been given a fair chance. Thats not unreasonable to feel, BUT the OP should not feel under pressure to give anybody a chance she's not interested in. Who anyway would want to date somebody who has no interest in them?

Its actually sometimes harder to handle rejecting than it is a rejection as its quite flattering to hear how wonderful you are from somebody, but you don't want to shoot people down. Its easiest to verbally make things clear and reiterate it as much as possible. But if you are being bombarded with texts and getting uninvited phone calls - make it clear that this is not acceptable and that they will not be answered.

If this person persists in piling on the adoration I think its important to make it clear that you cannot maintain any sort of friendship under those circumstances and that they will have to stop or the friendship will come to an end.

Good point from renraw - actually I know quite a few gay guys who really gave exes a hard time after a breakup or rejection.

Can sympathise with OP and think the dilemma is "do I reply to be nice and hope against hope that it isn't misread as a come-on" or ignore as this person is unstable enough to continue ignoring the clearly stated fact that you've reiterated several times that you don't share her feelings and are not interested. I think since this is somebody you don't know, the best bet is to ignore - you really don't have the safety or luxury of knowing that this lady won't turn on you if you keep in touch or try to keep things at friendship level, in fact I get a distinct impression that any sort of frienship would be viewed as a potential backroad to a relationship.

I think the main thing I would advise to anybody who is meeting people on dating sites is either hide your email address (most services allow you to do this) and don't tell them anywhere identifiable where you live or work, just in case. Some people might be too unstable to understand that turning up at homes or workplaces isn't on.

And ladies, there are lots of nice women out who are femme, normal and sane. I will be at Kiss myself on Friday with 2 equally sane friends, so there will be at least 3 of us!

lycopodium123

BettePorter wrote: »

But i don't need to meet you !...............i'm standing outside your window !!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::D

YAAAAAAY, all my dreams have come true!!! (now fcuk off, lol)

i'd win the psychotic stalker story competition, hands down (from the point of BEING stalked that is, not the other way around!), in fact, i have 2 whoopers!!!

and did you mention "sane lesbians"? it better be one LONG list of questions to reach that point.......sure we're all mad, even us on this thread,

shoegirl

I was going to add a cautionary tale of a near-stalker experience that happened to me 10 years ago, but you'd all think I was a right bawdy slut if I told you the full details.

BettePorter

shoegirl wrote: »

I was going to add a cautionary tale of a near-stalker experience that happened to me 10 years ago, but you'd all think I was a right bawdy slut if I told you the full details.

oh go on, you know you want to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fancy That

..i guess if we weren't so god damm perfect there would be no reason to stalk us ...:D:D:D

go on Shoegirl you gotta spill.....

Fancy That

And to add...i'm well up for a "Girls from boards" who wanna have fun night....seriously.....

Well sick of the 'little' bit of scene i visit....

Thoughts...???

lycopodium123

Fancy That wrote: »

And to add...i'm well up for a "Girls from boards" who wanna have fun night....seriously.....

Well sick of the 'little' bit of scene i visit....

Thoughts...???

will it involve an open fire, candles, red wine, dvd's and loads of pink fluffy things??! LOL!

and Shoegirl, go on, spill! or just the gist of it for now......
although, i seriously think mine will top them all!!! I'm actually laughing here thinking about it!! HOLY GOD is all i'll say for now! lol

BettePorter

yeah that would be cool, though it could backfire coz all the stalker types are reading this now and in fairness if you're a stalker you probably don't acknowledge it ! so i can only speak for myself, and what if i turn up to the meet and you're all friggin stalkers ! it would be like invasion of the body snatchers ! i'd have just got rid of one stalker and gained 6 at a anti stalker convention ! you know the saying; 1 in 5 people are unbalanced, pick 4 friends, if they seem ok............you're the one !!!!!:D

renraw

Fancy That wrote: »

Jez Renraw thats pretty bad alright...if carlsberg did stalkers or what !!

So do you ever see this guy on the scene anymore?? Me personally, if i did i would probably leave the pub with fear...:(

Iv seen him once or twice, always cross to the other side of the road.....guy is demented.....I park my car a mile from where i live now

lycopodium123

BettePorter wrote: »

yeah that would be cool, though it could backfire coz all the stalker types are reading this now and in fairness if you're a stalker you probably don't acknowledge it ! so i can only speak for myself, and what if i turn up to the meet and you're all friggin stalkers ! it would be like invasion of the body snatchers ! i'd have just got rid of one stalker and gained 6 at a anti stalker convention ! you know the saying; 1 in 5 people are unbalanced, pick 4 friends, if they seem ok............you're the one !!!!!:D

could be worse.......no-one could show up to meet you at all......

BettePorter

ah now here !...............that would be the ultimate insult............sitting there dolled up to the nines with the realisation that not even the nutters want me !

lycopodium123

but imagine all the "sane" one's who read this and turned up instead.....heeheehee

Where's the OP by the way?!!

BettePorter

lets hope her 'stalker' hasn't been reading this and taken her 'single white female' obsession a step further !!:eek:

Fancy That

BettePorter wrote: »

ah now here !...............that would be the ultimate insult............sitting there dolled up to the nines with the realisation that not even the nutters want me !

Awwwwwwww.....you could always pay us...lol...:D

...Lycopodium you should start on your stalker story get the ball rolling ......and I in the mean time will try an un-erase parts of mine from my memory...:eek:

So where are you guys based..or is that a bit stalkirie?? ( getting paronoid!). Im in the west. Just so as we can see if it is possible to organise a meet......

lycopodium123

Fancy That wrote: »

Awwwwwwww.....you could always pay us...lol...:D

...Lycopodium you should start on your stalker story get the ball rolling ......and I in the mean time will try an un-erase parts of mine from my memory...:eek:

So where are you guys based..or is that a bit stalkirie?? ( getting paronoid!). Im in the west. Just so as we can see if it is possible to organise a meet......

ok, re your 1st point - there's a word for people like that......lol

and I couldn't possibly tell my story here......what if one of you lot were her??!!!! (although, you can spell most words correctly, so I'm guessing you're not, lol!)

I'm in the east......

BettePorter

it is a bit strange that the OP hasn't been back on.
BUT
maybe there never was an OP !:eek:
maybe it's one of you lot that began this thread in the first place:eek:
maybe you have a penchant for vulnerable, stalker-sensitive lesbians:eek:
maybe this is all reverse psychology, and you in fact ARE the stalker:eek:
maybe you're MY stalker !!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek:
there's only one way to find out!.....................do you have severe facial hair ?????????????

lycopodium123

BettePorter wrote: »

it is a bit strange that the OP hasn't been back on.
BUT
maybe there never was an OP !:eek:
maybe it's one of you lot that began this thread in the first place:eek:
maybe you have a penchant for vulnerable, stalker-sensitive lesbians:eek:
maybe this is all reverse psychology, and you in fact ARE the stalker:eek:
maybe you're MY stalker !!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek:
there's only one way to find out!.....................do you have severe facial hair ?????????????

no, of course I don't have severe facial hair!!!!! How rude!!!!! I shave first thing every morning!!!!

Fancy That

lycopodium123 wrote: »

ok, re your 1st point - there's a word for people like that......lolquote]

Entrepreneurs???:D

Re: Facial hair...all gone since this morning....NICE....:D

Imaginations are running riot i see.....lol....healthy sign perhaps...active mind...no time for silly games...stalker activities..etc etc....

BettePorter

lol very good, ye are all very witty lesbians !!!!!!!!!!! again i ask where are you all when i'm looking casue i'm finding nothing but nutters and hermaphrodites!!!!!
North East..............in best stalker tradition we should draw a line between all the points and nominate the dead centre ! we'll end up somewhere around roscommon i reckon !

lycopodium123

BettePorter wrote: »

lol very good, ye are all very witty lesbians !!!!!!!!!!! again i ask where are you all when i'm looking casue i'm finding nothing but nutters and hermaphrodites!!!!!
North East..............in best stalker tradition we should draw a line between all the points and nominate the dead centre ! we'll end up somewhere around roscommon i reckon !

no, no BettePorter............. YOU"LL end up somewhere around Roscommon.....:D

Fancy That

BettePorter wrote: »

nutters and hermaphrodites!!!!


North East..............in best stalker tradition we should draw a line between all the points and nominate the dead centre ! we'll end up somewhere around roscommon i reckon !

Jez...nutters and hermaphrodites...sounds like a regular saturday night in the George alright....seriously tho...do you girls go out on scene much??

I was out last weekend 1st time since dub pride before that was January....i have resigned myself to the fact i will never meet my soul mate in these places...and for the record im usually a very positive person but not this time...lol...or maybe i'm just too fussy...nothing wrong with that either eh..


So maybe Mohill and in proper lesbian attire down a few few snake bytes .....lol:D

lycopodium123

Mohill and snake bytes.......sounds delightful!!!

I don't really go out on the scene that much anymore - too much of the same crap all the time....

BettePorter

Fancy That wrote: »

So maybe Mohill and in proper lesbian attire down a few few snake bytes .....lol:D

You've met my last girlfriend/stalker then !

no seriously, the liz hurley types are all i seem to come across :P:P (That was intentional too !) and if there not like that on the first date............they are on the second cause 'why bother making and effort once we're married' !

Fancy That

BettePorter wrote: »

You've met my last girlfriend/stalker then !

no seriously, the liz hurley types are all i seem to come across :P:P (That was intentional too !) and if there not like that on the first date............they are on the second cause 'why bother making and effort once we're married' !

Ya Liz Hurley's galore they seem to make the world go round in this neck of the woods for sure!! Dont quite get that whole dressing like a lad thing(gonna stop there..subject for a new thread)!!

But yes women making an effort is so important.....maybe all these nice appearance apprectiating young 30something year old gay women are in straight bars?.....

lycopodium123

is there much of a gay scene where you guys are?

Fancy That

Well down in Galway there is the stage door bar....and then twirlys nightclub also eden on every so often. Not been to that tho. Was at pride last week...a night in Salthill....it was ok.

So in all not much really!!!!

How bout your area??

BettePorter

theres a bit of a scene where i am, quite a good one really one night a week, but i'm not really into the scene tbh. i suppose i live a very straight life day to day if i think about it.

mollzer

Just a quick word re the OP post, I dated a woman I met online once, she initially said she had never been with a woman before. We dated for a bit but she got very OTT. Later it turned out she had lied to me initially and that she had been with another woman (said it had slipped her mind ! ya right).

I think its the same for straight girls or lesbians, plenty of stalker straight men/women out there. Cannot understand someone telling ya they love ya on the first date! before they know anything about ya, fair enough if you know them for a long time etc....

Oh and btw there are plenty of nice lesbians out there, but forums like this are a better place to start, really get to know someone a bit better than just on those dating sites!
And def a great idea meeting in groups.... much safer.

gcgirl

lycopodium123 wrote: »

no, of course I don't have severe facial hair!!!!! How rude!!!!! I shave first thing every morning!!!!

Classy Bird

celibacy Does have its +, = sane me!
Clingy ladies are a complete no no for me but from what i have seen with in 24 hours they declare there life long devotion to you!