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Seperated Married Father ..........Help!!

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  • 21-08-2009 11:46pm
    #1
    Mono25
    Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭


    Hi

    Looking for some general advice but this is kind of complicated. I'm recently seperated from my wife. We have a 1 year old daughter. So far we haven't gone to a solicitor or have anything formal/written.

    The arrangement so far has been she stays primarily in the family home and also has our child during the weekdays as she has taken a sabatical from work which is ending in a year. I return to the home 2 weekdays she leaves for the night she returns in the morning, I go off to work. We have alternative weekend nights ie friday night I do whatever then saturday from 3 ish till sunday 3 ish I take the child. The following week its the opposite.

    I have been paying half the mortgage and also E500 maintanence each month.

    So far it has been amicable but there is beginning to be grumbles from her side that i dont do enough, she has her all day during the week (she doesn't work) etc. Also veiled threats of her stopping me taking her one night.

    To be honest I dont really know what advice i'm asking for but any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

    Also I seen a website on another thread for seperated fathers but for the life of me I cant find it again. Anyone know what it was it was something like ufis?

    Cheers.


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    #2
    Splendour
    Registered Users Posts: 1,580 ✭✭✭Splendour


    Hi Mono25,

    am sorry you had to go down the separated road but it's good to see that you and your wife have been amicable so far. However if as you say you think your wife is beginning to rock the boat, this may change things alot.

    Have you thought about going for mediation? If two parties are willing this is the best route you can take. You can discuss child arrangements/bills/house etc.

    I don't have any websites to hand but I'm sure CDfm will have plenty!

    Hope you and your wife can work through this and keep things amicable for the sake of your child.


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    #3
    teddy_303
    Registered Users Posts: 359 ✭✭teddy_303


    Thats absolutely correct in my opinion. If the split is recent, things will probably get more territorial as time moves on. The murmurings starting to surface are just the beginning, not tring to take side or anything. If you go for mediation, all that has being aggreed will be on record, and there will be no ambiguity about what has being aggreed. If things do go pear shaped, there will only be one winner in that situation. Make sure you cover your angles, if not for your sake, for your childs. I know too many friends who suffered for going the amicable route, only to have it twisted when things get messy down the line. If it is an option, I think you should excersize it.

    Good Luck..


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