Bed wetting

LegacyUser

Lately my partner of 4 years has started wetting the bed at night. It only happens after he has been drinking, last night was the 3rd time it has happened in a matter of weeks.
He didn't even have that much to drink last night at all.
I am getting very annoyed with this now and even went to the spare room last night and I cannot talk to him today.
Has this happened anyone else or know any reason for it? am I wrong to feel so annoyed and discusted by it?? please give me advice..

puglover

That is horrible OP, I'd be very annoyed at that too.

He is obviously drinking so much that he is losing control of his bodily functions, that's not on.. Is he drinking more than usual lately?

Anyhow it's only a short term fix but I'd be insisting he sleep in the spare room after drinking if he can't learn to control himself.

Nick_oliveri

No harm in finding out if theres an underlying condition. Boy will your face be red then...

Also, anyone else coming in here on their high horse might want to take a look at themselves and how much they drink on a night out, just because you have no obvious signs of drinking too much bar the hangover doesn't make you any better.

Also this would be quite embarrasing for him, but I do feel an ultimatum might be required if it is the drink.

puglover

Nick_oliveri I hope that isn't directed at me.

On the occasions that I do drink, I always do so responsibly. I haven't had a hangover in over 5 years. I would never drink so much that my oh would have to put up with me wetting the bed.

It is clearly linked to his drinking, the OP stated that it only happens when he drinks.

PirateShampoo

Simple solution to this is to give him 2 options

1: When he comes in from drinking make him wear a nappy to bed.

or

2: Get him to stop drinking.

PirateShampoo

Nick_oliveri wrote: »

No harm in finding out if theres an underlying condition. Boy will your face be red then...

Also, anyone else coming in here on their high horse might want to take a look at themselves and how much they drink on a night out, just because you have no obvious signs of drinking too much bar the hangover doesn't make you any better.

Also this would be quite embarrasing for him, but I do feel an ultimatum might be required if it is the drink.

Thats it Nick blame everything else except the most obvious.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Lately my partner of 4 years has started wetting the bed at night. It only happens after he has been drinking, last night was the 3rd time it has happened in a matter of weeks.
He didn't even have that much to drink last night at all.
I am getting very annoyed with this now and even went to the spare room last night and I cannot talk to him today.
Has this happened anyone else or know any reason for it? am I wrong to feel so annoyed and discusted by it?? please give me advice..

It happens.

A) he needs to go se a doctor. There are things that can be done.

he needs to stop drinking.

There are a lot of places on the web to research and discuss this.


All the best.

OS119

VC,

it doesn't just 'happen'.

it happens to people who get so pissed they couldn't stand up if they were on fire. if it happens once, well, perhaps put it down to inexperience and not knowing where your limits are - after some grovelling, and a month of washing-up, cooking and housework and never drinking more than half a lager shandy again - but if it happens three times in three weeks, and you've got someone with absolutely no respect for themselves or the poor fcuker in the bed with them.

what's next: sh*tting on the sofa because the toilet is a mighty 30 feet away?

Nick_oliveri

puglover wrote: »

Nick_oliveri I hope that isn't directed at me.
It is clearly linked to his drinking, the OP stated that it only happens when he drinks.

No it wasn't directed at you, twas a broad statement!

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Thats it Nick blame everything else except the most obvious.

Well theres no harm in getting it checked out anyways. It could be the cider or vodka or whatever burning the bladder off him. Or it might be something else with alcohol serving as the catalyst/harbringer of doom. Note the OP mentioned that it was wasn't "that much" drink the last time it happened. He wasn't stocious drunk..

ETA: Whats "everything else"?

LegacyUser

He defo does not have a drink issue, actually he hadly ever drinks as I dont drink much.
However an odd time he will go out with his mates, like last night he only had 5 drinks and when he came home he seemed pretty sober. But after his accident when I woke up to find him falling around and not really knowing what had happened, was like he was still asleep...

dirtydress

Unregistered wrote: »

He didn't even have that much to drink last night at all.

For all of you so quick to claim he's a raging alcoholic please read the post properly. Yes it could be the drink but there's also a possibility that there's something else going on, medical or psychological and it should really be looked into. OP, you've been together long enough i'm sure you can talk to him and support him in getting this looked into and if it is the drink you can work together to find a solution.

puglover

dirtydress wrote: »

For all of you so quick to claim he's a raging alcoholic please read the post properly. Yes it could be the drink but there's also a possibility that there's something else going on, medical or psychological and it should really be looked into. OP, you've been together long enough i'm sure you can talk to him and support him in getting this looked into and if it is the drink you can work together to find a solution.

No-one suggested he was a "raging alcoholic" no need for the dramatics.

It only happens when he drinks... thats the one common denominator so it's clearly linked

Faith

Bed wetting is not normal. Either he's drinking a ridiculous amount, which the OP says he isn't, or he has a medical condition. Bed wetting can sometimes be a symptom of conditions such as diabetes. OP, you need to get him to go to his doctor to establish whether there is an underlying condition. If there's not, he needs to stop drinking completely.

veganfriendly

This is not as uncommon as you'd think. I went out with someone for years who just went through a phase of it when he was drinking heavily. I feel you were a little harsh on him considering he's not aware of it until its too late. Try adopting a softer approach and speak to him about it you may find out he is worried also. I know when it happened my ex he had a lot of things going on and he wasn't dealing with them, maybe thats the case? just remember he's probably mortified.

VaioCruiser

OS119 wrote: »

VC,

it doesn't just 'happen'.

it happens to people who get so pissed they couldn't stand up if they were on fire. if it happens once, well, perhaps put it down to inexperience and not knowing where your limits are - after some grovelling, and a month of washing-up, cooking and housework and never drinking more than half a lager shandy again - but if it happens three times in three weeks, and you've got someone with absolutely no respect for themselves or the poor fcuker in the bed with them.

what's next: sh*tting on the sofa because the toilet is a mighty 30 feet away?

It is a pity when people post on this forum about things they know nothing about.

2-3% of adults suffer from "Nocturnal enuresis" in every society across the world and has been known of for thousands of years.

OP. Your partner needs to se a urologist, via your GP.

There are a number of things that can be done for him.

All the best.

OS119

VaioCruiser wrote: »

It is a pity when people post on this forum about things they know nothing about.

2-3% of adults suffer from "Nocturnal enuresis" in every society across the world and has been known of for thousands of years.

OP. Your partner needs to se a urologist, via your GP.

There are a number of things that can be done for him.

All the best.

what a remarkable coincidence that the three times its occurred were after he'd been drinking.

obviously alchohol has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with him pissing himself, it must, as you say, be utterly random and entirely coincidental that it hasn't happened after he's drunk tea, or coffee, or squash.

or...

interesting 'non-symptom' issue; if you pissed yourself, for-whatever-alleged-medical-reason-that-absolutely-was-nothing-to-do-with-alcohol (deep breath), and were utterly mortified both that you'd pissed yourself and that your OH had got covered in piss and then had to clean it up, would you then drink again in the immediate future, and if you did, and pissed yourself again, would you do it a third time?

coz i wouldn't. i think the words 'cause' and 'effect' might have wormed their way into my thick skull by that time...

wexford202

He could have a kidney or bladder infection so when he drinks at the moment it will weaken his controls more.

I think you are being horrible by giving him the cold shoulder. I'm sure he isn't proud of the fact and very embarrassed.

The more you hype it up the more it will happen as the owrry and fear of doing it will cause it to continue.

Tell him to book a doctors appointment. Men can be very prone to this.

VaioCruiser

OS119 wrote: »

what a remarkable coincidence that the three times its occurred were after he'd been drinking.

obviously alchohol has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with him pissing himself, it must, as you say, be utterly random and entirely coincidental that it hasn't happened after he's drunk tea, or coffee, or squash.

or...

interesting 'non-symptom' issue; if you pissed yourself, for-whatever-alleged-medical-reason-that-absolutely-was-nothing-to-do-with-alcohol (deep breath), and were utterly mortified both that you'd pissed yourself and that your OH had got covered in piss and then had to clean it up, would you then drink again in the immediate future, and if you did, and pissed yourself again, would you do it a third time?

coz i wouldn't. i think the words 'cause' and 'effect' might have wormed their way into my thick skull by that time...

Sarcasm on the face of ignorance is even worse than simple ignorance.

Drinking at night exacerbates the "Nocturnal enuresis" but as any mature adult knows well we all regularly drink at night time but do not leak during the night. Her partner has a medical condition that is probably showing up under the pressure of large scale late night alcohol drinking but which is likely to get worse over time if it is not tackled now.

No amount of smart arseness on behalf of the terminally ignorant will change that.

wexford202

Well said.

LegacyUser

OP I cant believe how you're handling this situation. Not only is he probably feeling ashamed and needs you more than ever to come through but he is probably feeling worried about whats happening.

I bed wet all my life, I thought it would stop when I grew up and then I saw a hypnotist which helped for a while. Whenever Im drinking now I cant fall into a drunken sleep, I have to get up regularly throughout the night and empty my bladder.

Throughout the years it happened at the worst of times. One Boyfriend was disgusted by it when it happened twice in our 4 year relationship.

It happened a few weeks ago with my boyf of 2 years. I wasnt well and Id no control over it. He gently woke me up and the next day we had a chat about it. Not only is it embarassing but there is a whole feeling of dirtiness attached to it. He changed the sheets that night while I got changed. If he had of got up and left and slept in the other room I would have felt even more dirty.

I saw an eurologist but it seems its all in the head. Just a weak bladder. I was on medication a few years ago and it solved it for a while but still when I least expected it, I wet the bed.

Being supportive is what being in a relationship is all about. If he bed-wet when he was a kid, chances are his parents might not have dealt with it properly at the time. My parents use to pull me out of the bed as a child giving out hell that Id done it again. Looking back, that made me ashamed about myself from a young age and I was quite insecure during my teenage years. Ive dealt with it now, but it still gets me down and makes me ashamed if it happens.

No matter what amount of drink you drink, alcohol or not, its almost as if the body is difficient in something, or not connecting to the brain while you sleep to wake you up. I had to do the hypnosis to wake the brain up in the middle of the night, etc.

Just support him, dont leave him when he probably needs assurance and work through the problem together. It has destroyed me over the years and I worry about having to wear a nappy when Im old.

OS119

VaioCruiser wrote: »

Sarcasm on the face of ignorance is even worse than simple ignorance.

Drinking at night exacerbates the "Nocturnal enuresis" but as any mature adult knows well we all regularly drink at night time but do not leak during the night. Her partner has a medical condition that is probably showing up under the pressure of large scale late night alcohol drinking but which is likely to get worse over time if it is not tackled now.

No amount of smart arseness on behalf of the terminally ignorant will change that.

so now you're saying that it is alcohol related?

so its ok to repeatedly cover your girlfriend in piss, even if there's a fairly simple mechanism to stop it happening - as you admit in your post: stop drinking alcohol - as long as its a 'medical problem', and not being a filthy fcuking heathen who likes drink more than he dislikes pissing on his girfriend?

wexford202

Ok first of all the guy is probably very embarrassed about it.

Secondly you can be pretty damn sure that he isn't proud of it.

Yes alcohol can weaken the bladder espically if there is an infection there. Does she want him to give up drink? Maybe he will.

Other solution is for him to sleep in the spare room after a few drinks until this stops happening. It has only started recently and will not last forever.

A little understanding wouldn't go astray! Stress will make it more likely to continue.

The Recliner

OS119 and Vaiocruiser

Stop with the tit for tat posting it isn't helpful

The OP has asked what she can do in this situation as the problem is not with her she needs advice on how to approch it so if you have nothing helfpul to add then don't post

Any more arguing between you two and you will take a week off from PI

Terodil

The Recliner wrote: »

The OP has asked what she can do in this situation as the problem is not with her she needs advice on how to approch it

Well technically she's already approached it, and not well by the sounds of it.

Firstly, given the history the OP has presented here (her bf is not a heavy drinker), and assuming that his drinking behaviour hasn't suddenly changed, then the 'the alcohol is the common denominator' hypothesis is wrong. He has clearly managed to drink before and not wet the bed. The alcohol consumption is not the trigger.

Secondly, I'm not so sure the drink is the cause either; it may highten the effects of his incontinence. Incontinence with only a few ml in the bladder can go more or less unnoticed; incontinence after drinking a fair bit will not.

So in conclusion, it may be that he has had the incontinence issue for a while and it only got visible now.

My advice to the OP under these circumstances: Get him to a GP, get blood tests done, get him thoroughly checked. This is not normal. And please stop looking at him like a freak and leaving him alone because he has a problem. He needs your support more than anything else now. TBH, I think you owe him an apology for your behaviour. It's how a loving partner would normally react.

P.S./Edit: Well, to be fair, I would also expect him to have seen a GP straight away, at the latest after the 2nd occurrence. Don't know why he has not. =/

LegacyUser

Regular poster here, but going unregged for this.

Im a mid 30's male who has done this all my adult life. It happens to me only when i drink alchohol (ie pints). I went to the doctor about this, and he prescribed a nasal spray to be taken last thing after a night out.This prevents this problem happening.

I will not describe the shame, embarrasment etc after this occurs.

This is a very common problem which is unspoken about.

HugoDuncan

I used to be very fond of the ale and wetting the bed was a nightly occurence for me. Mrs Duncan didn't find it as amusing as I did and made me see my GP. He ran some tests and concluded that I had a bladder infection. After taking a course of the drugs prescribed by said doc, the problem cleared up. So definately make him see his GP, and if the problem persists you can buy adult nappies which should at least ensure a good nights sleep until you get to the bottom of the issue.

All the best,
Hugo.