we need a laugh

alleyb

ok we can't do anything about this darn weather ,costly machines sitting idle and prices for corn brutal. so what i'm looking for is funny stories from your 2009 year,let it be the know all type who gets found out or the guy who tries to put the engine oil through the dip stick hole, just anything that made you laugh and might put a smile on ours. no real names please example i reversed my tractor up close to the other tractor driven by a young lad .he attached the chain and then asked " are you going to pull me out or shove me back" and he wasn't joking

irish_bob

i know a contractor who hired a young fella to spread slurry , the young fella got stuck with a tanker full and tried repeatedly to unstuck but failed , the contractor says , never pull out of a hole with a full load

pakalasa

..heard of a guy working as an AI Technician, their motto was....you lock them up, we'll knock them up !

emaherx

A friend of mine was agitating slurry.
He left the tractor running and forgot to put down the little latch to stop the nozzel from spinning round.
The vibrations caused the nozzel to turn round and tilt up to face the tractor, he also left the window open. When he came back the tractor was full upto the bottom of the window level.

reilig

I know a guy who brought his MF165 to a backstreet tractor mechanic to get the engine rebuilt "at the right price".

When the guy took it apart and rebuilt it he had a couple of parts left over, yet the tractor still ran so he gave them to the tractor owner in a cardboard box, told him that they were just spart parts. Needless to say the farmer opened her up on his way home to test his new engine - only for it to seize half way home.

itsallaboutheL

Was in a rush there a few weeks ago finishing the cows, tore down the road to lock em in hopped off the quad, left it in gear, Petrol tank was empty, engine sucks in fumes, starts racing, i turn around and the quad is hairing towards a ditch sans mise!! Cue me running down after it like a tit!

Figerty

Couple of locals were at a three year olds birthday party lately, A 'Bob the Builder' suit was hired for the occasion and off course after a few beers they decided that something had to be done with the suit.

So off one of the lads went to the local pub in the suit, bursts in the door, cordless drill in hand and sings the song...Bob the builder, can he fix it etc.

Anyway no one can recognise him becuse of the face mask.. He goes behind the bar and pulls a drink... and drinks it so he can't be seen.. still no one know who he is.

Anyway back out to the door and sings the whole song again start to finish and is taking the screws out of the hinges on the door as he sings the song

He gets to the end, last screw comes out and finishes with 'Can he fix it,, no he F**king can't' leaves the door up against the wall and runs! Barman was going nuts!

Did the same in the other two local pubs the same way..

bk1991

hiow about a lad who who started working with contractor sprea slurry was sent for load of water for agaitiing and came back with a tank full of air :D:D he forgot to open the valve and herd the pump and knocked her off and drove on

fig mclough

this was on a construction site!!! young lad on his first day comes into work, boss says your going to be driving a dumper!! that was grand anyway and the boss says go over and fill it up with diesel for the day, 5 mins later the lad comes back and is going very slow and the crew were wondering whats wrong, the new lad filled the bucket with diesel. first and last day

masse5455

ha special younglad. heard a story a these to younglads drawing in bales and dey were racing coming down the field and there was a few esb poles in the field however he managed it one lad crashed into one made dust of the tractor and knockd out the electricty for the day.....

bk1991

masse5455 wrote: »

ha special younglad. heard a story a these to younglads drawing in bales and dey were racing coming down the field and there was a few esb poles in the field however he managed it one lad crashed into one made dust of the tractor and knockd out the electricty for the day.....

thats is good !!!!! another one
again first day on the job guy was asked to service the loading shovel said he did it before the whole ya know ..... but shur anyway filled the deisel tank with hydralic oil and of course u can work the rest out filled ...... in to the transmition/hydralic tank :D:D:D

The_Conductor

We had an agricultural student on placement with us. He was spot spraying gramoxone between rows from a 2000 litre sprayer on the back of the tractor (the field was a good 1/2 mile from the farm yard- and he had no intention of going backwards and forwards with a knapsack). Anyhow- at the top of the drill he turned the tractor and caught the hose he had connected up to the sprayer under the rear wheel and pulled half the hose junction off the sprayer. He hadn't turned the PTO off at all- and there was now a steady stream of gramoxone being sprayed out. His next step was to race the 1/2 mile to the farm yard on foot, and grab a few grease drums and buckets to put under the sprayer (the PTO still happily turning).........

germanicus

My father (an ex agri contractor) once had a man drawing silage for him in a big field (20 acres). it had once been two fields but the fence had been taken down and the two pillars remained in place in the middle. this man managed to knock the pillars even though he had the whole field too drive in as he decided to drive through them

scaniaman

Our contractor managed to put a 90 gallon concrete water trough standing on cavity blocks and marked with a fence post and urea bag straight through an allmost new Taarup autoswarther mower about 20 years ago. I think it was one of the first in the country.

whelan1

we had a lad drawing in silage who went in to floods of tears when the back window of the tractor smashed as he was backing into a trailer

snowman707

must have about 30 years ago at this stage we had a contractor making silage, this guy serviced & minded his machinery like no one else I ever knew.

his son was bucking the silage with a leyland 272 anyhow he slipped over the side brow of the clamp and the tractor rolled on to it's side, no apparent damage.

we had to fork a good deal of grass before we could attempt to right the 272

we decided it was best not to inform the boss just for now as he was not best to have around in times like this & was known to get lose his cool fairly fast, the meadow was a mile from the yard anyhow.

we had 2 chains attached to the axles and I was just about to try to lower the 272 onto it's wheels but i heard a shout "STOP ! STOP!" I hadn't see the boss walk into the yard come up beside me, I thought there was going to be an outrage.

"get me a grease gun there's grease nipples I never even knew about, good job you turned her up Liam that shaft would worn out otherwise"

bk1991

snowman707 wrote: »

must have about 30 years ago at this stage we had a contractor making silage, this guy serviced & minded his machinery like no one else I ever knew.

his son was bucking the silage with a leyland 272 anyhow he slipped over the side brow of the clamp and the tractor rolled on to it's side, no apparent damage.

we had to fork a good deal of grass before we could attempt to right the 272

we decided it was best not to inform the boss just for now as he was not best to have around in times like this & was known to get lose his cool fairly fast, the meadow was a mile from the yard anyhow.

we had 2 chains attached to the axles and I was just about to try to lower the 272 onto it's wheels but i heard a shout "STOP ! STOP!" I hadn't see the boss walk into the yard come up beside me, I thought there was going to be an outrage.

"get me a grease gun there's grease nipples I never even knew about, good job you turned her up Liam that shaft would worn out otherwise"

that is good :D

Muckit

As if it wasn't bad enough to have to put cattle in2 the shed, the brother smashed the back window putting on the Mchale sheargrab!! (I'm sure he's not the first, and def won't be the last person to do it!! )

A def case of better to laugh than cry!!!

A few years back we had a lad in, doing a bit of work for us. He was asked to do a bit of rolling on our hill. So off he went. Little while later, BANG!
He hadn't hooked up the hitch properly. He had been rolling on top of the hill, the roller had become unhitched, rolled straight down the hill, across a couple of fields, through a few fences and hit a small small shed in the yard.
The roller must have been doing some speed. coz it completely flattened it.
Lucky no-one was hurt, but funny looking back.

adne

:P:PA neighbour of mine employed a local lad to spread some fertiliser he had purchased.
The local lad completed the job but the neighbour found out 6 weeks later when there was no
grass coming that the lad had drove through the fields and left the tracks and spread the
fertiliser on his fathers land.....

fig mclough

adne wrote: »

:P:PA neighbour of mine employed a local lad to spread some fertiliser he had purchased.
The local lad completed the job but the neighbour found out 6 weeks later when there was no
grass coming that the lad had drove through the fields and left the tracks and spread the
fertiliser on his fathers land.....

haha great one how did he ever think he would get away with that?!

Casinoking

Deleted User wrote: »

A few years back we had a lad in, doing a bit of work for us. He was asked to do a bit of rolling on our hill. So off he went. Little while later, BANG!
He hadn't hooked up the hitch properly. He had been rolling on top of the hill, the roller had become unhitched, rolled straight down the hill, across a couple of fields, through a few fences and hit a small small shed in the yard.
The roller must have been doing some speed. coz it completely flattened it.
Lucky no-one was hurt, but funny looking back.

Something similar happened me a couple of times, once years ago when I lost a bale trailer off a Ford 6700 on the main street in Dundrum at half 5 in the evening and more recently when I lost a roller off a John Deere 6800 and it passed me out going down the road! Gives me a chuckle now, but neither seemed very funny at the time! The moral of the story is never take anyone's word for it when they tell you they have something hooked to the tractor, I just got in and drove off on both occasions without checking. Anyway on a slightly different note, the father worked in plant hire years ago, and often tells the story of a young lad they had driving a dumper. He turned up one morning with no key, and in a flash of inspiration decided the dip stick would be the perfect substitute. He stuck it in the ignition, turned it, and broke off about 3 inches. He then suddenly remebered his brief machine driving training and went about checking the engine oil. Amazingly, no oil showed on the now shortened dipstick so he topped up the level til it registered and went off on his merry way, only for the dumper to blow up a couple of hours later. Genius!