Fathers rights/responsibilities?

Evolver

Hi All,

I need some suggestions about maintenance of my 4 years old son.

I have asked several times to my ex to provide me her bank details in order to pay an adequate some of money on a weekly basis, but she always refused to do so as she is under one parent family payments.

My questions is : can I talk to the SW office, letting them know that I m willing to pay this money or it's better that I find an alternative agreement with the mother of my son ?

My understanding of this is that she doesn't want to loose the social welfare payments, and this sound unfair for me as father.

She is 41 , student
I m 24 , worker


I have obtain guardianship and access.

Thanks for your help and suggestions guys.

Paddy Cow

Evolver wrote: »

Hi All,

I need some suggestions about maintenance of my 4 years old son.

I have asked several times to my ex to provide me her bank details in order to pay an adequate some of money on a weekly basis, but she always refused to do so as she is under one parent family payments.

My questions is : can I talk to the SW office, letting them know that I m willing to pay this money or it's better that I find an alternative agreement with the mother of my son ?

My understanding of this is that she doesn't want to loose the social welfare payments, and this sound unfair for me as father.

She is 41 , student
I m 24 , worker


I have obtain guardianship and access.

Thanks for your help and suggestions guys.

If your ex won't provide you with bank account details, please get a check book and pay her that way. Do not under any circumstances give her any cash. If she wants cash to cheat the SW system, you will be an accomplice to fraud if she gets caught.

You are also leaving yourself open to her accusing you in the future on not paying maintenance. Without a paper trail you won't have a leg to stand on if she ever claims you paid her nothing.

Evolver

Thanks Paddy Cow for your reply.

I was used to pay by bank drafts as my bank didn't allow me to obtain a check book due to my account type, but she was refusing even those from my hands and I was obliged to leave them under the front door ( with the possibility to be stolen from strangers too )

I have also requested this bank details trough my solicitor without of course obtain nothing , so I m Covered from a legal prospective as I have made my efforts.

But for my son wellness , I was wondering if all this should be dealt in an official way trough the SW or trying to pay this sums no matter the way is.

Thanks again to all.

Paddy Cow

Evolver wrote: »

Thanks Paddy Cow for your reply.

I was used to pay by bank drafts as my bank didn't allow me to obtain a check book due to my account type, but she was refusing even those from my hands and I was obliged to leave them under the front door ( with the possibility to be stolen from strangers too )

I have also requested this bank details trough my solicitor without of course obtain nothing , so I m Covered from a legal prospective as I have made my efforts.

But for my son wellness , I was wondering if all this should be dealt in an official way trough the SW or trying to pay this sums no matter the way is.

Thanks again to all.

Send them by registered post.

I wouldn't go running to social welfare. They are not going to discuss her details with you and she will see it as you dropping her in it and it will cause problems. Stick with the solicitor route, that way you are covered legally. I'm not a legal eagle but keep aside any maintenance she hasn't accepted. I would imagine that if it went to court you would still be obliged to backpay any maintenance owed. I don't know this for sure but if it did happen it would be handy to have saved the maintenance.

Evolver

Thanks again Paddy Cow.

I will anyway post feedbacks in the future to provide insights , info and help to other fathers/mothers in the same situation.

Thanks a lot.