One of my best friends..does he like me? Advice needed

LegacyUser

I met this lad a good few months ago through boards.ie when I was seeking advice. He got in touch with me, and we met up as well. That was a few months ago. We are now really good friends, and always love chatting to him. Every day for the past 3 or 4 months we are chatting for hours, and get on great. He told me he thinks I am a good looking girl, and am very nice, and tell him alot how great he is, and how he is so nice. He told me he is quite shy with asking girls out, and I told him I could never ask a lad out, cos I am really shy that way as well!
We get on so well, and hope to meet up next weekend for the craic. I am not really sure what to think myself, and was hoping for people's opinion on this. Does he like me, or does he just consider me to be a friend?
Some advice on this would be great! Thanks everyone

Contessa Raven

It sounds to me that he likes you! I think he is just shy. It seems as though he was hinting that you should ask him out. The fact you're also shy means that you will probably remain friends though unless you're willing take the plunge. What have you got to lose? If he says no well then just carry on being great friends. I don't think you need to worry though. It sounds like you're in there.

When you meet up at the weekend try suss it out by flirting slightly. If he responds then great! If not well at least you'll be able to carry on with your friendship without mortifying yourself. But I think you'd be safe just asking out straight. If you're such good friends well then it shouldn't get in the way.

Good luck!

SarahSassy

Unregistered wrote: »

The thing is when he goes out he kisses the odd girl here and there, and fills me in about this. He knows I am single as well, and does be saying to me, "I think you need to find a man"!

Well to be honest this puts a different slant on it all.... Proceed with caution and keep your heart underrwaps.... I dont think he would be saying this if he saw it as more than friends - hope I am wrong...

Hey am not sure what happened here? my were comments amended?

LegacyUser

Like I was saying we get on great and are talking to each other every day for the past 3 or 4 months. He has told me lots of personal private things and I have offered him advice and support. I told him he could talk to me about anything. I always love to hear from him, and he contacts me every day to start chatting whether its online or by text. When he goes out he meets a girl and kisses her, and tells me about his nights out. He knows I am single and does be saying to me that I should find a man.
He was with his friends the other day and was texting me for a while, and his friends wanted to know who I was. He just said I was a "Mystery woman" and didn't tell them anything about me, well thats what he said to me...
I am just so confused and don't know if he just wants to be my friend, or want more from me, and I am way to scared to do anything about it...

Pyr0

You should just take the plunge and ask him what the story is really, otherwise I can't see it going anywhere. He doesn't seem to have the courage to say/do anything if he does like you.

LegacyUser

I'm in a similiar position to the OP so i'm interested to hear how she got on when she meet up with the guy, did you ask him whats going on with you two??

XarcherX

ok IMO he's either giving you all these details about his kissing sprees to get a reaction out of you ie. make you jealous, or he really does just see you as a friend...
tread carefully, but start being more flirty. if he is trying to make you jealous, then he's playing mind-games (not a good trait IMO) so maybe throw in a few guy stories of your own so you can see how he reacts, it can't hurt!!

LegacyUser

Excellent advice, thanks, Ill do the same and say I am off on a date! Ill let ye know how it goes! Cheers everyone

LegacyUser

Its me the OP again. I meant to let ye all know that about a week ago, he was saying to me about that I should meet someone new. I had a drop to drink and have some own problems in my life which are effecting my love life. Because of that, I said to him I was not really interested in meeting anyone at the moment because of the problems I have which are effecting my love life. He was saying that I needed to get out and meet someone... Now I regret saying this because he is one person I would like to be with, and am wondering would this effect his approach with me? Thanks

Nakor

Unregistered wrote: »

I said to him I was not really interested in meeting anyone at the moment because of the problems I have which are effecting my love life.

I think this is why he does not make a move. You have to let him know that you like him. Make it clear for him, he will most likely not pick up your subtle hints.

SarahSassy

Unregistered wrote: »

Its me the OP again. I meant to let ye all know that about a week ago, he was saying to me about that I should meet someone new. I had a drop to drink and have some own problems in my life which are effecting my love life. Because of that, I said to him I was not really interested in meeting anyone at the moment because of the problems I have which are effecting my love life. He was saying that I needed to get out and meet someone... Now I regret saying this because he is one person I would like to be with, and am wondering would this effect his approach with me? Thanks

After saying that to him you really need to just jump him or something equally un-subtle.

LegacyUser

I don't know if I could let him know if I like him because what if he dosn't like me inspite of all the complications I have said above?
If there is one thing I know about men, its that if they like a girl they will be the one to do something about it and make a move on her? Maybe because he hasn't done anything about the situation with me and him is because he dosn't like me that way and might just see me as a friend?
Lads, what do ye think am I right?

vandermeyde

I think you've brought procrastination to an artform. Just ask him out.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

If there is one thing I know about men, its that if they like a girl they will be the one to do something about it and make a move on her?

If that's the one thing you know about men, then... you don't really know anything about men.

Men are human beings, same as you, they have the same insecurities, anxieties and fears of rejection as you do. So when you tell him that you don't want a relationship - he thinks you don't want a relationship. Why would he make a move on someone who has already told him she's not interested? That's emotional suicide.

Give the poor guy a break. He can't know you like him unless you show him. So show him.

LegacyUser

Its the OP here again. Thanks for all your replies, it is appreciated
My situation with this guy gets more complicated! He broke up with someone a while ago, and has been out and about and kissed the odd girl here and there. But lately he told me he has got a bit down about the break up from a few months ago, and I don't know where he is at at the moment, or if he even likes me despite all these complications...I am so confused, I don't know what to think. Like I say we chat every day, and all that I said above.

How could I show him I like him without asking him out and possibly making an ass of myself...?!

Adamisconfused

Unregistered wrote: »

Its the OP here again. Thanks for all your replies, it is appreciated
My situation with this guy gets more complicated! He broke up with someone a while ago, and has been out and about and kissed the odd girl here and there. But lately he told me he has got a bit down about the break up from a few months ago, and I don't know where he is at at the moment, or if he even likes me despite all these complications...I am so confused, I don't know what to think. Like I say we chat every day, and all that I said above.

How could I show him I like him without asking him out and possibly making an ass of myself...?!

He likes you. It’s quite clear. You said that you weren’t interested in a relationship so he threw up the shields by mentioning his ex in order to defend himself and deflect any attention away from his original intentions and save face.
In your opening post, you stated that you two were going to meet up. What's wrong with simply meeting up, having a laugh and then suggesting meeting up again. Treat the whole situation like you would any other, with a boy you like.
The fact that you like him will come across in your body language and you’ll be able to see if he really does like you(he does; trust us). On the other hand, seeing as you two seem to be playing games, perhaps it would be better to be more direct by simply saying, "I like spending time with you; we should do this again".
"....to hope is to risk Pain. to try is to risk Failure.. but risk Must Be Taken Because the Greatest Hazard in Life Is to risk Nothing."
Sorry; got that cheezeball quote in a email a few weeks back from the other half.