Stressed for too long

LegacyUser

I think for 13 years now Ive just lived with too much stress. I have dealt with this with medication mostly cause it was the only way (antidepressant) as the stress leads me to I clinical depression.
But I genuinely think that if I learned to really relax and to relax no matter what the pressure (within reason) I would be medication free and a happier person. I also haven't had a girlfriend for 12 years and I put it down to this, not being able to relax (but I could be wrong about blaming that). So my question is
i. am I too late to learn. Am i naive to think I can change aged 35.
ii. what works best for you. For me the deep breathing and visualisation doesnt work strangely enough. Or else Im not doing it properly. Neither does sport generally because I am too competitive and it ends up being just like work.
iii. Could my inability to form good relationship with a woman be down to my inability to relax.

Xephon

Its never too late to make a difference in your life.
I used to suffer from stress and anxity aswell, which lead to clinical depression, and when you hit that point, telling yourself you need to relax and breath or do a sport never will not work.

All of it will seem tedius and boring and not worth the effort because your mind refuses to reconise the effects after trying it once or even a few times.
They themselfs become like another form of stress, as you stated you find sports more like work because it becomes to competitive.

You need to find something you enjoy doing.
Challenge yourself on this objective, you know yourself you want to change and no longer feel stress so to do that you need to take it slow.

When ever you feel a high level of stress, try going for a 20-30 min walk.
And don't think of the walk as a "this is pointless, how will this effect whats bothering me", but try to think of it as "i know im stressed, annoyed, sick of everything, so i'm going to give my body a nice little treat and take it for a walk"

Dizzyblonde

Meditation and relaxation techniques are wonderful tools for dealing with stress - as is exercise, especially walking.
I was recommended a really good book on mindfulness meditation - I've bought it but haven't read it yet but it's very popular and lots of people have found it very good.

It's Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn LINK