Confessions

spoon · 01-09-2009 1:40pm

confession: I'm wearing your socks.

DamoDLK · 01-09-2009 1:51pm

I'm really rather shallow and pedantic...
:pac:

minidazzler · 01-09-2009 1:57pm

Novella wrote: »

After my dad got a huge credit card bill, I claimed I had no idea what "i-tunes" was and blamed it on my little brother messing on the internet! He is so bad with all things computer-ishy, he actually said, "Sorry dad, I didn't even know I was buying all those albums!" :rolleyes:

I gave the kid a fiver afterwards though 'cause guilt sorta got the better of me!

You are a terrible person!!! I put the blame on my little sister, but it's usually her fault anyway!!!

My Confession: I am avoiding a whole group of friends lest they've heard about what I did with one of their other friends, I wish I hadn't done it. FML.

stovelid · 01-09-2009 1:57pm

I killed a man, father.

KTRIC · 01-09-2009 2:12pm

stovelid wrote: »

I killed a man, father.

Was it just to watch him bleed ?

J.Ball · 01-09-2009 2:23pm

Wazdakka wrote: »

Heh..

I love it..
It's the whole Zombie escape theory..

You don't have to be the fastest..
Just don't be the Slowest.. :P

Kind of bad form tripping a mate tho..

It was him or me. There was no time for thinking just action and i acted

rainbowdrop · 01-09-2009 2:59pm

I confess that, up until a year ago, I thought that the 'TUC' in 'TUC biscuits' stood for 'Trade Union Cookies. I'm 31 for Godsake!!

In my defence, I grew up in England, and during the miners strikes in 1984 (remember Arthur Scargill etc), my Dad told me that 'Trade Union Cookies' had been invented for the strikers, and were the only food that the poor miners could afford to eat!! I was only 6 at the time, so I believed every word:(

I only found out the truth last year, when I asked a friend to get me a packet of Trade Union Cookies from the shop. She nearly wet herself laughing at me.......... Yes, I'm gullible!!

Professey Chin · 01-09-2009 3:00pm

My chin is only exceptional, not ultimate

J.Ball · 01-09-2009 3:02pm

rainbowdrop wrote: »

I confess that, up until a year ago, I thought that the 'TUC' in 'TUC biscuits' stood for 'Trade Union Cookies. I'm 31 for Godsake!!

In my defence, I grew up in England, and during the miners strikes in 1984 (remember Arthur Scargill etc), my Dad told me that 'Trade Union Cookies' had been invented for the strikers, and were the only food that the poor miners could afford to eat!! I was only 6 at the time, so I believed every word:(

I only found out the truth last year, when I asked a friend to get me a packet of Trade Union Cookies from the shop. She nearly wet herself laughing at me.......... Yes, I'm gullible!!

At least the made up story made a bit of sense. You can be forgiven for being gullible.....................But not this time

IvyTheTerrible · 01-09-2009 3:29pm

Daroxtar wrote: »

Dear downstairs neighbour who complained about the noise once the telly was above a whisper and who once left my rubbish bag around the corner and reported me for illegal dumping. I pissed on your car door handle every single night and then looked out my window and watched you picking your nose and picking bits of breakfast out of your teeth as you headed off to work. Revenge is sweet, ya horrible prick.

That ok for you?

Glad I'm not your neighbour! :P Good revenge!

rainbowdrop · 01-09-2009 3:30pm

J.Ball wrote: »

At least the made up story made a bit of sense. You can be forgiven for being gullible.....................But not this time

I hate to admit this, but I'm telling the truth....... I really am that thick:(

Carsinian Thau · 01-09-2009 5:51pm

I still have feelings for a friend of mine. I just pretend I don't for the sake of an easy life.

It's partially successful. As in, things could be so much worse.

rannerap · 01-09-2009 6:00pm

Stee wrote: »

49 posts and no one has admitted putting the screw in the tuna. C'mon, own up.

sorry im late!i got here as fast as i could!okay okay okay,I PUT THE SCREW IN THE TUNA!

vangoz · 01-09-2009 6:03pm

I let loose a steamy turd in the bottom draw of a chest of draws in a liverpool hotel.... the said furniture was in the corridor

Banter Joe · 01-09-2009 8:29pm

I thought bass (as in guitar) was pronounced the same way as bass (the beer) until I was about sixteen.

I got mocked quite a bit over that one

Epic Tissue · 01-09-2009 8:30pm

I put the screw in the tuna

AckwelFoley · 01-09-2009 8:31pm

i once masturbated on a girlfriends head when she was asleep on the couch drunk.

...im not sure whos girlfriend it was

Epic Tissue · 01-09-2009 8:32pm

Stee wrote: »

49 posts and no one has admitted putting the screw in the tuna. C'mon, own up.

How did I miss this

Super-Rush · 01-09-2009 9:47pm

Can i go un-registered first???

FlutterinBantam · 01-09-2009 9:59pm

Blew the load into the gf's knickers and waited till she put them on:o

D.Q · 01-09-2009 11:33pm

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Blew the load into the gf's knickers and waited till she put them on:o

and from now on that particular act will be known as a "flutterin Bantam"

FlutterinBantam · 01-09-2009 11:42pm

cough...

Two capitals horse

D.Q · 01-09-2009 11:52pm

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

cough...

Two capitals horse

eww... whats that!?:p

Carsinian Thau · 02-09-2009 12:17am

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Two capitals horse

DieselQueen wrote: »

eww... whats that!?

At a guess:

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Blew the load into the gf's knickers and waited till she put them on

Parsley · 02-09-2009 12:26am

...I'm not a herb.

In All Fairness · 02-09-2009 12:31am

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I know who flooded the bathrooms in Boarding School.

It was me. I didn't own up at the time because I forgot I did it!

We've had just about enough of your Rohypnol based excuses young lady.:mad::pac:

4zn76tysfajdxp · 02-09-2009 12:31am

Carsinian Thau wrote: »

At a guess:

No, he was saying that there are two capital letters in FlutterinBantam.

Carsinian Thau · 02-09-2009 12:34am

Javion Moldy Locket wrote: »

No, he was saying that there are two capital letters in FlutterinBantam.

Oh, ok.

I still prefer my title for his deed though.

(or his title, but not for what he had done.*)

*=Is it just me or is the English language far too complicated for use sometimes?

brummytom · 02-09-2009 12:37am

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I know who flooded the bathrooms in Boarding School.

It was me. I didn't own up at the time because I forgot I did it!

Boarding school, don't you know..
Very laa dee da :pac:

useful_contacts · 02-09-2009 12:54am

stole a towel from a bnb by accident

was packing and chatting on the phone at the same time and just throwing the stuff on the bed into my bag:(

Joey the lips · 02-09-2009 12:54am

I ate all the snowballs i bought today in lidl in one sitting and have hid the empty box in the wheelie bin.

#Fat fcuker#

useful_contacts · 02-09-2009 12:57am

Joey the lips wrote: »

I ate all the snowballs i bought today in lidl in one sitting and have hid the empty box in the wheelie bin.

#Fat fcuker#

ive done that- except replace snowballs with yorkshire puddings

they are yummers

martyboy48 · 02-09-2009 1:11am

I sniff my own farts..... Perfume..

FearDark · 02-09-2009 1:38am

Twas me.

Super-Rush · 02-09-2009 1:55am

I kissed girl and i liked it!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

randylonghorn · 02-09-2009 2:02am

super-rush wrote: »

I kissed girl and i liked it!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

So?!

I've done that many times.

Mrmoe · 02-09-2009 2:08am

I'm the one who dropped a duke in the urinal.

bronte · 02-09-2009 2:11am

I signed my ex up to receive embarrassing freebies like incontinence pants and panty liners.
I sprayed an entire can of fart spray in my brothers room only it didn't smell like farts , it smelt like a dead rat. Made his room uninhabitable for days.
I also put the screewwww in the tuuuunnnaaa.

congo_90 · 02-09-2009 2:12am

I googled google!

sorry to any gmail users who couldn't log on but i don't like you anyway

Super-Rush · 02-09-2009 3:30am

randylonghorn wrote: »

So?!

I've done that many times.

Did she?

randylonghorn · 02-09-2009 3:48am

Aye ... so much so she encouraged me to take it south ...

Super-Rush · 02-09-2009 3:57am

Result

Mackman · 02-09-2009 8:26am

In the movie "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls", at the end when yer man comes out and says "she's not a virgin!", for years i thought he was talking about the bat.
I was always confused as to why would Ace be in trouble for the bat not being a virgin

then i figured it out (not too long ago)