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Rufus.T.Firefly

A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout.

Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!

The officer took off after the speeder and soon had the car pulled over on the side of the road.

Expecting trouble with such a reckless driver, the patrolman approached cautiously.

To his surprise the driver of the offending vehicle was a little old lady, barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel.

“Ma’am,” the officer began. “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“I was just getting her up around 90, I believe, officer,” the old lady answered calmly, peering up at him through her bifocals. “Why, what seems to be the problem?”

Shocked, the officer returned her comment,

“What seems to be the problem?

Why, this is a 35mph zone!

That’s the problem.

Didn’t you see the sign?”

“Oh sure,” the old lady returned,

“That’s why I’m driving so fast. I’m just trying to follow it’s instruction.”

Dumbfounded, the officer was momentarily speechless.

“Just what sign are you talking about, Ma’am?” he asked, when he finally recovered.

Smiling up at the officer, the old lady placed a gentle hand on his wrist and said,

“Why, the one that said ‘Speed Zone Ahead’, of course!”

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A man suggests to his wife,

"Darling, shall we try swapping positions tonight."

"That's a great idea," she replies.

"Why don't you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and break wind."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man says to his new girlfriend:

"Since I first laid eyes on you,

I've wanted to make love to you really badly."

"Well," she replies, "You succeeded."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a stockbroker's first day in prison.

He meets his psychotic-looking cell mate, who notices how scared the stockbroker looks.

"I'm in for a white-collar crime, too." says the cellmate.

"Oh, really?" says the stockbroker, sighing with relief.

"Yes," says the cellmate, "I killed a vicar."

Nikko

classics as always!! - cheers Rufus T.

:P

Dravokivich

love the last 1 man!

- Drav!