What the hell does all this mean?

LegacyUser

I'm so confused right now. I've only had one serious relationship, went on for almost 3 years, we broke up a few years ago but it hasn't been an easy ride, ive wanted to get backtogether while he hasn't but he's needed my friendship. It was always strange how we hung on to our connection throughout.....always looking out for eachother regardless.

Anyway, he moved to OZ bout 6 months ago for 18 months, we don't talk much to be honest but i've been getting some odd messages from him. First he said that he misses me more than anything else at home.

Then he said that when we broke up he led me to believe it was because i was clingy or it was my fault but in honestly it was because he wanted to be his own man and not tied to anyone.

Then he said that when he thinks about us he knows that eventually we will be cool...(and here's the catch) - Probably not the way we were but as it should be - whatever the hell that means??

He went on to say hes grown up so much and he realises now how much he was hurting the people who cared about him and he feels like he's had his moment of clarity.

Does this mean he wants to get back together or am i silly to get my hopes up?

ellie1

I think he is sending you these messages to keep you interested. He may not necessarily want to get back with you but wants you there when he comes home and dosent want you to be with anybody eles.

I wouldnt get your hopes up. In fact I woulnt reply to these messages. Move on with your life. He aint inviting you overon holidays, is he?

If he does come home and looks you up. Thats great.

SheRa

very mixed messages alright. could you ring him to see what the story is maybe?

Chinafoot

He's 6 months into an 18 month trip. Has he said he's coming back anytime soon?

They could have been alcohol induced messages (don't forget the time difference!) or he may just been home sick and thinking about everything and everyone.

If it were me I wouldn't get my hopes up. He misses you but he hasn't said he wants you back or anything. You should move on and start living your own life instead of clinging to the hope that someday your ex will change his mind and want you again. Thats no way to live. The moment he knew you wanted him back he should have cut ties with you for even a few months to let you get over things. Instead he selfishly "needed your friendship". He doesn't sound like someone you should be agonising over.

If you want some clarity on the text messages send him an email and ask him what he meant. If he does decide he wants you back, what are you going to do? Wait around for a year til he comes back? Even then you have zero guarantees that he'll feel the same when he eventually does come home.

Taltos

Agree with the rest.

Me - I would take it that to be the way it should be could just be that you two are to be mates.

Very easy to mess someone about when you are in a different country - lonely and looking for some reassurance - esp if not getting too lucky over there.

Be careful here so you don't get hurt.

The Real B-man

Seems like hes keeping his options open for when he gets back! as other posters say dont reply to these texts if he wants to meet you when he comes back he will dont be led along in false hope OP enjoy your life.

All the Best.
B

Beruthiel

OP
Don't allow anyone to mess with your head like this.

Ignore him. Get on with your life and leave him to get on with his.

Wibbs

aaaahheadmelted wrote: »

He went on to say hes grown up so much and he realises now how much he was hurting the people who cared about him and he feels like he's had his moment of clarity.

This is the bit that stands out for me anyway. It sounds like he's had some sort of epiphany and out of that is apologising for past hurts. I wouldn't put much store in it beyond that. Live your own life and don't wait around. If he has any intention of reigniting anything, that will become clear, but as I say I wouldn't be waiting around for it.

R.D. aka MR.D

I agree with others that say send him an email and ask him whats going on.

If you don't get a proper answer. If hes still messing around. Cut him out! hes messing with you and you deserve better.

Hes probaly sending these messages safe in the knowledge that he won't have to face you in person to answer for them.

Miss Fluff

Chinafoot wrote: »

He's 6 months into an 18 month trip. Has he said he's coming back anytime soon?

Exactly. I wouldn't hang around. Get on with your own life and when he comes back see what happens then. Don't spend the next year waiting for him OP.