Advice please

tinaomall

ok i feel like a total looser so no need to tell how stupid i am, I think i might be pregnant well im 98% sure its unplanned. I hav tried tellin my partner a few times but i can't get the words to come out. he know there is somehing wron he keeps asking if im ok, but i still cant manage to get the words to come out of me.

I really have to do it soon, but i just cant seem to do it, how can i raise a child if i cant tell my partner he is going to be a daddy. i need to know if this is the worst idea ever, im thinking of texting him today and saying "dont mean to freak you out but im freaked out, think i might be pregnant. "

i have been running this over and ove in my head for the past two weeks and i keep chickening out saying ill tell him face to face tonight but when it comes down to it i cant do it.

What will i do please help

shellyboo

For god's sake don't do it by text!! The poor fella.

I get that you're freaked out, but you can't do something like that by text, you need to be there for him when he finds out. If you really and truly can't get the words out, go buy a test, go home, sit on the sofa and wait for him to get there, then hand him the test when he comes in. He'll get the message, and it will get the whole mental block of not being able to say it over and done with.

It would be much, much better if you could ease him into it, but I get the feeling it's gone beyond that now. You just need to get it over and done with and get tested.

cch

Take a test!! Then when you tell him (in person!) you'll know for definite.

Wibbs

Better here I feel.

shellyboo

cch wrote: »

Take a test!! Then when you tell him (in person!) you'll know for definite.

I think, and I'd be the same, that the OP maybe wants him there when she takes the test? Moral support and all that.

_blank_

Do not tell him by text.

Do not tell him by text.

Do not tell him by text.

SarahSassy

Oh come on... Do you have any level of communication with this guy. He deserves to be told and now.... Worries me how you will cope with rearing a kid if ye cant even communicate on this.

Quit wimping out and depriving him of weeks of the pregnancy which he will never get back.

SarahSassy

tinaomall wrote: »

i need to know if this is the worst idea ever, im thinking of texting him today and saying "dont mean to freak you out but im freaked out, think i might be pregnant. "

I would dump you if you did that to me - v childish.

Oryx

tinaomall wrote: »

ok i feel like a total looser so no need to tell how stupid i am, I think i might be pregnant well im 98% sure its unplanned. I hav tried tellin my partner a few times but i can't get the words to come out. he know there is somehing wron he keeps asking if im ok, but i still cant manage to get the words to come out of me.

I really have to do it soon, but i just cant seem to do it, how can i raise a child if i cant tell my partner he is going to be a daddy. i need to know if this is the worst idea ever, im thinking of texting him today and saying "dont mean to freak you out but im freaked out, think i might be pregnant. "

i have been running this over and ove in my head for the past two weeks and i keep chickening out saying ill tell him face to face tonight but when it comes down to it i cant do it.

What will i do please help

Dont do it by text. (I think you already got told that.:)) Its a big deal, quite apart from being a useless way for him to find out, from your own point of view, can you imagine how it would feel sweating waiting for his reply?

Practice saying what you want to say out loud. Then when you see him, dont wait for him to turn on the tv, make tea, or anything. Tell him you have something urgent to say, and spit it out. If you dont think it will come out of your mouth, have it written down on paper, give it to him, and then once he knows, you can both talk.

And good luck. In spite of pregnancy being a big deal, its really not the end of the world. Youll be ok.

shellyboo

SarahSassy wrote: »

I would dump you if you did that to me - v childish.

And dumping your pregnant partner just because of the way in which they told you isn't childish, no? The OP's going through a really hard time, no need to be cruel.

Again, I'll say that I can understand why the OP hasn't done the test yet. I wouldn't want to do it alone either if I had a boyfriend who could hold my hand.

di-fiend

Hi tinaomall, first thing you need to do is visit your G.P. or get a test to confirm your pregnancy. Please check out the crisis pregnancy websit they offer free non-judgemental advice and counselling on all issues regarding an unplanned pregnancy. It's early days yet so theres no harm in allowing yourself some time to assimilate the news yourself before telling your partner. Best of luck in whatever you decide. By the way the website I was referring to is www.positiveoptions.ie

SarahSassy

shellyboo wrote: »

And dumping your pregnant partner just because of the way in which they told you isn't childish, no? .

Did you see the words 'by text'? Come on... IF someone told me life altering news like that by text I would (a) have to question their sanity and (b) wonder what I was doing in a relatonship with someone who cannt respect me enough to tell me face to face.

shellyboo

SarahSassy wrote: »

Did you see the words 'by text'? Come on... IF someone told me life altering news like that by text I would (a) have to question their sanity and (b) wonder what I was doing in a relatonship with someone who cannt respect me enough to tell me face to face.

Yes, I saw the words 'by text' and I told her not to do it. But dumping your PREGNANT partner, walking away from a relationship with the mother of your child, because she was so worried that she didn't have the courage to tell you to your face is hardly mature, either. It's a far cry from mature actually, it's petty and ridiculous.

I don't think she should tell him by text. But I think if you were pregnant and your partner dumped you because of the manner in which you decided to tell him then I think you'd agree that it was a callous and heartless thing to do when there are more important issues at stake.


But that's all OT, since I've already advised the OP not to do it by text.